{"id":74256,"date":"2022-01-31T17:08:06","date_gmt":"2022-01-31T17:08:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=74256"},"modified":"2023-04-28T04:52:04","modified_gmt":"2023-04-28T04:52:04","slug":"wife-is-emotional-bully","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/wife-is-emotional-bully\/","title":{"rendered":"15 Signs Your Wife Is an Emotional Bully"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Two<\/p>\n

Are you constantly doubting yourself while feeling isolated in your marriage? If something feels off, but you’re ashamed to talk to your friends about it, then you might be <\/span>dealing with emotional bullying. <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

It can be hard to accept that your wife is an emotional bully but look at the following signs. These will help you decide your next course of action.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>15 Signs you’re married to a bully <\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

Emotional or psychological abuse isn’t easy to define because it’s intangible and comes in many forms. The American Psychological Association <\/span>defines<\/span><\/a> it as “nonphysical acts detrimental to behavioral and affective functioning and overall mental well-being.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Before you consider the question, “what do I do if my wife is an emotional bully?” Check out these behaviors. They will allow you to determine if your wife is an emotional bully:<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Constant criticizing<\/b><\/h3>\n

Bullying of any form is a complex behavior that comes from individual characteristics and various influences. As two psychologists explain in this <\/span>article<\/span><\/a>, bullies were often once victims. Their anxiety and trauma then pushed them to control others later in life to feel safe again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, this doesn’t excuse bullying behavior. Nevertheless, if your wife is an emotional bully, she might be criticizing you for making you fit her idea of perfection. This could come from low feelings of self-worth that drive her to attempt to change you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Either way, if your wife is an emotional bully, you might be getting a flurry of verbal abuse every time you do or say anything. This is a misguided attempt to turn you into a superhuman for the outside world to envy her. <\/span><\/p>\n

Related Reading: 10 Ways on How to Deal With Criticism in a Relationship<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/pre>\n
2. Belittling and shaming<\/b><\/h3>\n
A wife who is an emotional bully will do anything to make you feel small. Weirdly, they often don’t realize they’re doing it because, at the same time, they’re hiding their inferiority complex.<\/span><\/p>\n
Remember that a bully wife is all about control. This means that she’ll use your insecurities against you to keep you close to her. Deep down, there’s a <\/span>fear of abandonment <\/span><\/a>along with low self-worth. This makes her lash out because she doesn’t know how to handle her fear.<\/span><\/p>\n
3. Blame<\/b><\/h3>\n
If your wife is a bully, you are blamed for everything that goes wrong. So, if the kids get told off at school, you’re personally responsible for it.<\/span><\/p>\n
It’s also your fault that the restaurant is fully booked or that the cinema has closed down. If only you’d bought the other house instead. These are the illogical and unreasonable statements you might hear if your wife is an emotional bully.<\/span><\/p>\n
Moreover, a wife bullying her husband has an astounding memory. She’ll dig up things from years, even decades ago. Within that, you also have to <\/span>deal with financial bullying in marriage<\/span><\/a>. After all, you are fighting against unreasonable standards, including money and lifestyle.<\/span><\/p>\n
4. False apologies<\/b><\/h3>\n
\"Women<\/p>\n
One of the confusing signs of seeing if your wife is an emotional bully is the creative apologies. You might get showered by gifts, and kind words, although, be warned as these can later be used against you. <\/span><\/p>\n
For example, a complaint might come up such as, “I gave you all those things, and you do nothing for me.”<\/span><\/p>\n
Psychologists use a term for this: ‘love bombing.’ It’s typically used by a wife bullying her husband or, in more scientific terms, by someone with<\/span> low self-esteem<\/span><\/a>, anxious attachment style, or by narcissists. <\/span><\/p>\n
As this <\/span>study<\/span><\/a> continues to explain, the love-bombing tactic is used to exert power and control. <\/span><\/p>\n
5. Isolation<\/b><\/h3>\n
Emotional bullying in marriage is usually carried out by subtly imposing isolation. You rarely notice anything changing, and suddenly, you wake up and realize you’re estranged from your family and friends.<\/span><\/p>\n
Essentially, a controlling wife can’t succeed if you’re checking with friends and family all the time. The art of an abuser is to create a world where you doubt yourself and your reality. <\/span><\/p>\n
This often comes with financial bullying in marriage. You don’t even have complete control of your money anymore in those cases.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading: How Social Isolation Can Affect Your Marriage and What Is the Cause of That<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/pre>\n
6. Gaslighting<\/b><\/h3>\n
If your wife is an emotional bully, the chances are you live in an isolated world where you don’t even know what’s true anymore. Abusers often use<\/span> gaslighting<\/span><\/a>, where events and situations are retold differently.<\/span><\/p>\n
In gaslighting, you’re made to think that your phrases and emotions are lies and that things you experienced never actually happened, but they did. You start thinking that you’re going mad. <\/span><\/p>\n
This can be so extreme that a spouse can be committed, which happens in the 1944 film Gaslight that coined the term gaslighting. <\/span><\/p>\n
Find out more about gaslighting its origins in this video:<\/b><\/p>\n