

{"id":73431,"date":"2021-12-31T11:13:52","date_gmt":"2021-12-31T11:13:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=73431"},"modified":"2026-02-27T10:53:38","modified_gmt":"2026-02-27T10:53:38","slug":"how-to-deal-with-an-asexual-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/intimacy\/how-to-deal-with-an-asexual-partner\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Meaningful Ways to Connect With an Asexual Partner"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-116440\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Quiet-Check-In.jpg\" alt=\"Quiet Check-In\" width=\"804\" height=\"536\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Connection doesn&rsquo;t always look the way movies promise, and that can feel confusing at first&hellip; even tender. Loving someone means learning their language of closeness, noticing what makes them feel safe, seen, and chosen.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With an asexual partner, intimacy may unfold through quiet presence, shared routines, laughter at odd hours, or the simple relief of being understood. It can be gentle, deeply intentional, and surprisingly grounding.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe affection shows up in conversations that linger, hands held without urgency, or trust built through consistency rather than chemistry. Love still grows here, just at its own pace; soft, thoughtful, and real.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When expectations soften, and curiosity leads the way, connection often becomes less about what&rsquo;s missing and more about what&rsquo;s meaningful.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-does-it-mean-to-be-asexual\"><\/span><b>What does it mean to be asexual?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/oLEptqitHCs?si=rvLTeHUQ9D48AQDV\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div class=\"subscribeYT_highlight\"><div class=\"subscribe_channel\">\r\n            <div class=\"subscribe_text\">Join millions <span class=\"sub_text1\">building healthier, happier<\/span> <span class=\"sub_text2\"> relationships.<\/span><\/div>\r\n            <a class=\"subscribe-btn-in-content\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@Marriagedotcom?sub_confirmation=1\" target=\"_blank\">\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/youtube_icon_small.png\" class=\"icon-left\" alt=\"YouTube\">\r\n            <span>Subscribe<\/span>\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/bell_icon_new.svg\" class=\"icon-right\" alt=\"Extra Icon\">\r\n            <\/a>\r\n        <\/div><\/div>\n<p><b>Generally speaking, being asexual means experiencing little to no sexual attraction to others.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> It doesn&rsquo;t automatically mean a lack of love, affection, or desire for emotional closeness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexuality exists on a spectrum, and people experience it in different ways, so the best understanding always comes from open, respectful conversations with your partner about what they feel and need.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"research_highlight\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/38539031\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> on asexuality is still emerging and often definition-focused. Using survey data from 349 participants, this study examines dating, romantic, sexual, and platonic relationships, highlighting challenges asexual people face while affirming the fluidity and legitimacy of asexual identities and relationships.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In some cases, a person will still be able<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">to have sex with someone<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that they care deeply for, and in other cases, this may not be possible. If you are dating an asexual person, you should talk to them to learn more about how they feel and what their sexuality means to them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-is-asexuality\/\" title=\"What Is Asexuality and How to Know if You Are Asexual\">What Is Asexuality and How to Know if You Are Asexual<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"13-signs-of-an-asexual-partner\"><\/span><b>13 signs of an asexual partner<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexuality isn&rsquo;t always obvious, especially in relationships shaped by unspoken expectations. Some signs show up quietly, others over time, and many are misunderstood at first. Noticing patterns, not labels, often brings clarity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;ve been searching for signs my partner is asexual, this section explores common experiences with care, nuance, and respect&hellip; without assumptions or pressure.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Limited interest in sexual activities<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual individuals typically experience a lack of<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/sexual-attraction\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">sexual attraction<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or desire. This means they may not initiate sexual encounters, express enthusiasm for them, or actively seek out sexual experiences. For them, sex isn&rsquo;t a driving force in their relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may notice that intimacy rarely escalates toward sex, or that your partner seems content ending closeness with cuddling, conversation, or quiet companionship instead of physical escalation.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/intimacy\/5-reasons-why-theres-intimacy-missing-in-your-marriage\/\" title=\"15 Most Common Reasons Behind Lack of Intimacy in Marriage\">15 Most Common Reasons Behind Lack of Intimacy in Marriage<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>2. Open communication about asexuality<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many asexual individuals are comfortable discussing their asexuality with their partners. They may use terms like &ldquo;asexual&rdquo; or &ldquo;ace&rdquo; to describe their orientation and engage in conversations about what it means for them and their relationship. This open dialogue is crucial for understanding and accommodating their needs.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner might proactively explain their feelings around attraction, share articles or personal reflections, or gently clarify misconceptions to help you better understand their inner experience.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>3. Emphasis on emotional connection<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual individuals often prioritize<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/repairing-emotional-intimacy\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotional intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> over physical intimacy. They may find non-sexual expressions of affection, such as cuddling, holding hands, and deep conversations, to be more fulfilling and significant in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may feel closest to you during long talks, shared routines, or emotional check-ins, and express love more through words, presence, and consistency than physical desire.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/emotional-connection-in-relationships\/\" title=\"13 Signs of Emotional Connection in Relationships\">13 Signs of Emotional Connection in Relationships<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>4. Lack of sexual attraction<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a relationship, asexuality often involves experiencing minimal or no sexual attraction to others. This means your asexual partner may not frequently comment on the physical attractiveness of others, experience &ldquo;lust,&rdquo; or have the same level of interest in sexual fantasies as non-asexual individuals might.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may seem indifferent to &ldquo;crushes,&rdquo; celebrity appeal, or sexualized media, and feel confused or disengaged during conversations that revolve heavily around desire or attraction.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>5. Comfortable with celibacy or low sexual activity<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-116438\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Walking-Side-by-Side.jpg\" alt=\"Walking Side by Side\" width=\"804\" height=\"536\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexuality often entails a comfort with celibacy or infrequent sexual activity. Asexual individuals might be content with little or no sexual contact for extended periods.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"research_highlight\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> A<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/344646417_Asexuality\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">study<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> shows that asexuality is often overlooked, leading to incomplete views of romantic life and real harm to asexual people. It defines asexuality as a lack of sexual attraction, distinguishes it from celibacy, highlights diverse asexual experiences, and challenges assumptions that romance or meaningful sex requires sexual attraction.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may not view sex as a fundamental aspect of their romantic relationships and are often more focused on other forms of connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Long gaps without sex may not bother them, and they may not notice or feel concerned about frequency in the same way a sexual partner might.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>6. Limited interest in sexual conversations<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual individuals may not engage in explicit sexual discussions or jokes as frequently as others might. They might feel uncomfortable or disinterested in conversations about sexual experiences or explicit content.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may change the subject, stay quiet, or disengage when conversations become sexually graphic, even in casual group settings or media discussions.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/signs-someone-is-thinking-about-you\/\" title=\"How to Know if Someone Is Attracted to You Sexually? 19 Signs\">How to Know if Someone Is Attracted to You Sexually? 19 Signs<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Aversion to sexual pressure<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the telling signs your partner is asexual is that they may have a strong aversion to feeling pressured into sexual activities. They might become anxious or upset if they perceive any form of coercion or expectation related to sex in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even subtle expectations can feel heavy to them, leading to withdrawal, stress, or emotional shutdown when sex feels like a requirement rather than a choice.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>8. Positive attitude towards non-sexual intimacy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual individuals often find great joy and fulfillment in non-sexual forms of intimacy, such as spending quality time together, writing love letters, or simply being emotionally supportive. They may actively seek out these forms of connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may enthusiastically plan dates, enjoy closeness without sexual undertones, or express love through acts of care, creativity, or emotional availability.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/non-sexual-yet-intimate-ways-to-keep-your-marriage-healthy\/\" title=\"5 Best Non-Sexual Ways to Keep Your Marriage Healthy\">5 Best Non-Sexual Ways to Keep Your Marriage Healthy<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Valuing personal autonomy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual individuals often value their autonomy when it comes to their own bodies and choices. They may assert their right to decide when, if ever, they engage in sexual activities, and they expect their boundaries to be respected.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may be clear and calm when setting limits, and appreciate relationships where consent and comfort are discussed openly without guilt or pressure.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>10. Lack of jealousy over sexual attraction<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual individuals might not experience jealousy or insecurity when their partner finds someone else physically attractive or when their partner watches or enjoys explicit content. They may not share the same feelings of sexual possessiveness that others do.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may not react strongly to you finding others attractive or consuming sexual content, viewing it as unrelated to emotional loyalty or love.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>11. Emphasis on emotional connection in conflict resolution<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To learn how to know if your partner is asexual, assess their conflict resolution style.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual individuals may prioritize emotional connection and communication when resolving conflicts. They may prefer discussing issues, feelings, and solutions rather than relying on physical intimacy as a means of reconciliation.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After disagreements, they may want to talk things through, feel understood, or reconnect emotionally rather than using physical intimacy to smooth things over.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>12. Limited interest in romantic or sexual stereotypes<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual individuals often have a reduced interest in or disinterest in conventional romantic or sexual stereotypes portrayed in media or society. They may not relate to or be enthusiastic about traditional romantic gestures or gender-specific roles in relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They might question why certain milestones &ldquo;should&rdquo; matter, or feel indifferent toward performative romance, preferring authenticity over tradition.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/intimacy\/why-intimacy-is-different-for-men-and-women\/\" title=\"Why Intimacy Is Different for Men and Women: 9 Reasons\">Why Intimacy Is Different for Men and Women: 9 Reasons<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>13. Respect for boundaries and consent<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual individuals tend to be highly conscious of the importance of boundaries and consent in all aspects of a relationship, including physical intimacy. They may actively seek consent and respect boundaries consistently to ensure both partners feel comfortable and secure.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>How it may show up: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may regularly ask what feels okay, pause when unsure, and model respect in ways that make emotional and physical spaces feel secure.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/types-of-boundaries-in-relationships\/\" title=\"7 Types of Boundaries in Relationships You Need to Know\">7 Types of Boundaries in Relationships You Need to Know<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-a-relationship-with-an-asexual-partner-work\"><\/span><b>Can a relationship with an asexual partner work?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A relationship with an asexual can work, but you have<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/8-essential-tips-to-communicate-and-connect-with-your-partner\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">to be willing to communicate<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and understand each other&rsquo;s needs. There are asexual couples that have sex, and in some other cases, they may have asexual polyamorous relationships so that both parties will be able to have their needs met.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is up to you and your mate to talk about what you expect and to discuss the boundaries of your relationship. This may take some time, but finding something that works will be worth it. Engage in open<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/tips-for-couple-communication\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">conversations about expectations<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> as you manage to understand your partner&rsquo;s asexuality.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Without clear communication, misunderstandings may arise, making it challenging to sustain the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"11-meaningful-ways-to-connect-with-an-asexual-partner\"><\/span><b>11 meaningful ways to connect with an asexual partner<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Connection in an asexual relationship often grows in quieter, more intentional ways. It&rsquo;s built through understanding, patience, and a willingness to redefine closeness together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Learning how to deal with an asexual partner isn&rsquo;t about fixing anything; it&rsquo;s about meeting each other where you are, and discovering intimacy that feels safe, mutual, and deeply affirming.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Understand your partner&rsquo;s point of view<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are learning how to deal with an asexual partner, the first thing that you should do is<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/how-to-make-someone-understand-your-feelings\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">understand your partner&rsquo;s point of view<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This means that you need to talk to them about their asexuality and what it entails.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You should also learn more about what asexuality is, so you have a better understanding of it overall.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED QUIZ : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/do-you-feel-that-understand-each-other\" title=\" Do You Feel That You Understand Each Other Quiz?\"> Do You Feel That You Understand Each Other Quiz?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Refrain from thinking their asexuality is an attack on you<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is important to remember that a person&rsquo;s asexuality is not a reflection of your actions or behavior. People<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/24045903\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">are born asexual<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">; it isn&rsquo;t something they decide to be once they reach a certain age.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you are aware of this, you can start to think about how your partner must feel about their asexuality, considering it is something that is misunderstood.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/open-communication-in-marriage\/\" title=\"12 Key Tips to Promote Open Communication in a Relationship\">12 Key Tips to Promote Open Communication in a Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>3. Don&rsquo;t try to change them<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You should<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-you-shouldnt-try-to-change-your-partner\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">never try to change someone<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, especially once you learn they are asexual. For example, you don&rsquo;t want to ask them to learn how to stop being asexual since this could be insulting.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Imagine someone asking you to change a fundamental part of who you are&mdash;it could feel dismissive and hurtful. This may upset you. It might be more beneficial to find out as much as you can about what they are experiencing instead.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED QUIZ : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/am-i-asking-too-much-of-my-boyfriend-quiz\" title=\" Am I Asking Too Much of My Boyfriend Quiz?\"> Am I Asking Too Much of My Boyfriend Quiz?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Talk about what your partner needs<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While you are learning about your partner, you should<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/gift-of-listening\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">also listen to them<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> when they are talking about their needs in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are focusing on how to deal with an asexual partner, you will likely notice that they may have fewer sexual needs than someone who isn&rsquo;t asexual, which may take some getting used to. However, this doesn&rsquo;t mean that you both won&rsquo;t be able to get what you want out of your partnership.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/needs-in-a-relationship\/\" title=\"What Are the Top 10 Needs in a Relationship?\">What Are the Top 10 Needs in a Relationship?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>5. Define your relationship together<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-116439\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Shared-Silence.jpg\" alt=\"Shared Silence\" width=\"804\" height=\"536\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will need to define your relationship together. This means you need to discuss what each person expects and<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/realistic-relationship-goals\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how to achieve your goals<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If your wife is asexual, she may be totally comfortable with you masturbating or having sex with you on a regular schedule.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, these are situations that you will have to figure out together, and each couple will be different. In some cases, an asexual person will not be comfortable having sex at all. If this is the case in your relationship, you will need to be supportive and not expect something they are unable to give.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED QUIZ : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/should-we-stay-together-quiz\" title=\"Should We Stay Together Quiz\">Should We Stay Together Quiz<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Be honest about how you feel<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you think that you will be unable to be in a relationship with someone who is asexual, you need to be truthful about this. However, if you choose to try, you have to be willing to put in the time and effort it will take<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-make-a-relationship-work\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">to make your relationship work<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talk to your mate about how you are feeling, and they may be able to help you understand the situation more clearly. They might also have ideas on<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/couple-bonding-activities-to-strengthen-the-relationship\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how to build up your bond<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> without sex or discuss other things you can do together.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/honesty-in-a-relationship\/\" title=\"11 Reasons Honesty in a Relationship Is Truly Important\">11 Reasons Honesty in a Relationship Is Truly Important<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>7. Determine how to be intimate in your relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are different ways that you can<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/intimacy\/how-important-is-intimacy-in-a-relationship\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">be intimate in your relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">; it doesn&rsquo;t just have to be sexual. This is something that will be easy to recall when you are trying to learn more about how to deal with an asexual partner.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Intimacy is another aspect of the relationship that you can decide on together, so<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/how-to-kiss-better\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">you can keep kissing<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, cuddling, and engaging in other activities that both of you are comfortable with.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED QUIZ : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/quiz-how-intimate-is-your-relationship\" title=\"How Intimate Is Your Relationship Quiz\">How Intimate Is Your Relationship Quiz<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Don&rsquo;t pressure them for sex<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the most important aspects when deciphering how to deal with an asexual partner is to think twice before asking them for sex. This is something that you will need to figure out together, and if your partner is not able to have sex with you, it may upset them if you keep asking.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You should never pressure your partner for sex if they are asexual. This is something that will make them uncomfortable or feel like you don&rsquo;t understand how they feel. Perhaps you are thinking, &ldquo;My husband is asexual, but I <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/when-to-have-children-with-your-partner\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">want to have kids<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will need to determine if this is possible in your marriage and decide together if it is the right choice for both of you. Pressure can harm trust and emotional safety within the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/sexual-consent\/\" title=\"How to Understand Sexual Consent in Healthy Relationships\">How to Understand Sexual Consent in Healthy Relationships<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>9. Tell them what your needs are, too<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual relationships should never be one-sided. You should also talk to your partner about your needs. Again, this is an issue you can decide how to approach together, so everyone gets<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/15-key-secrets-to-a-successful-marriage\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">what they need to be happy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In some cases, your asexual partner may be able to help you with these needs, or they might be interested<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-is-an-open-relationship\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in an open relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or being permissive in other ways. You should take time to work on this aspect of your relationship so no one&rsquo;s feelings are hurt during the process.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED QUIZ : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/what-kind-of-relationship-do-i-want-quiz\" title=\" What Kind of Relationship Do I Want Quiz?\"> What Kind of Relationship Do I Want Quiz?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Educate yourself&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Take the initiative to learn about asexuality to understand your partner&rsquo;s perspective better.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For instance, you can read articles and books or watch documentaries on asexuality. This knowledge can help you empathize with your partner&rsquo;s experiences, such as their potential lack of sexual attraction, and appreciate that their orientation is valid.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Knowledge about asexuality also equips you to avoid making assumptions or unintentionally insensitive remarks, fostering a more supportive and inclusive environment for your asexual partner within the relationship. Education promotes empathy and can strengthen your connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this video where David Jay explains that asexual people deeply value connection and challenges a sex centered culture to recognize and celebrate asexual relationships:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VLI09O8bMkU?si=ed-O4jVx6MYHsueb\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>11. Keep working at it<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Building a relationship with an asexual partner may require patience and effort, but it can lead to an advantageous connection. All<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/constructive-criticism-in-relationships\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationships require a little give and take<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and ones with an asexual partner are no different. Keep working at it, and you will likely find a way to make both of you happy.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-do-you-support-an-asexual-partner\"><\/span><b>How do you support an asexual partner?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Supporting your asexual partner involves open communication and empathy. Listen actively to understand their feelings and needs. Respect their boundaries regarding physical intimacy and refrain from pressuring them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are wondering, &ldquo;What to do if your partner is asexual,&rdquo; educate yourself about asexuality to grasp their perspective better. Seek compromise in your relationship to ensure both your emotional needs are met.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Remember, love isn&rsquo;t solely expressed through sex; focus on emotional connection, affection, and shared activities to maintain a fulfilling relationship.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Ultimately, prioritize their comfort and happiness while fostering a deep, loving connection built on mutual understanding and respect.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FAQs\"><\/span><b>FAQs<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Relationships are complex, multifaceted, and deeply personal experiences. They can take various forms, including those that involve sexual intimacy and those that don&rsquo;t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&rsquo;s explore some key aspects of relationships, addressing questions related to sexual intimacy, differences in desire, asexuality, and its potential evolution over time.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Is it possible for a relationship to thrive without sexual intimacy?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, a relationship can thrive without sexual intimacy. The foundation of a successful relationship is built on communication, trust, emotional connection, and shared values.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some individuals prioritize emotional and intellectual compatibility over physical intimacy, making asexuality or celibacy a valid choice. For many, a thriving relationship can exist without sex as long as both partners are on the same page, feel fulfilled, and maintain a deep emotional bond.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>How can we navigate differences in sexual desire and expectations?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Navigating differences in sexual desire and expectations requires open, honest communication. Partners should discuss their needs, desires, and boundaries to find common ground. Compromise and understanding are crucial.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Seeking professional help from a therapist or sex counselor can provide guidance and strategies to bridge these gaps, fostering a healthier, more fulfilling sexual connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Can an asexual partner experience romantic attraction?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, an asexual individual can experience romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is separate from sexual attraction, and asexuality refers to the absence of sexual attraction.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asexual people can still form deep, loving, and romantic connections with others. These relationships often focus on emotional intimacy, companionship, and shared experiences rather than sexual activity.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Is it common for asexual individuals to have successful and long-lasting relationships?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, asexual individuals can have successful and long-lasting relationships. The key is finding partners who are understanding, accepting, and compatible with their asexuality.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many asexual people have fulfilling relationships, be they romantic or platonic, by emphasizing emotional connections and mutual support. Like any relationship, communication and compatibility are crucial factors for long-term success.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Is it possible for an asexual partner&rsquo;s orientation to change over time?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An individual&rsquo;s sexual orientation can be stable throughout their life, but it can also evolve. While some asexual individuals may continue to identify as asexual, others might experience changes in their orientation. It&rsquo;s essential to recognize that personal growth and self-discovery are ongoing processes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An asexual person may discover new facets of their sexuality or choose to embrace a different identity as they gain a better understanding of themselves. Such changes are entirely valid and should be respected within the context of a supportive relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"In-a-nutshell\"><\/span><b>In a nutshell<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Connection doesn&rsquo;t have to follow a script to be real. Sometimes it grows in conversations that linger, in trust built slowly, in affection that feels chosen rather than expected. <\/span><b>Loving an asexual partner can invite more intention, more listening, and more honesty&hellip; and that can be quietly powerful.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What happens when closeness is defined together, instead of assumed?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Space opens up for patience, creativity, and deeper respect. No rushing, no fixing, no pressure. Just two people learning what love looks like for them, again and again, in ways that feel safe, mutual, and genuinely fulfilling.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Connection doesn&rsquo;t always look the way movies promise, and that can feel confusing at first&hellip; even tender. Loving someone means learning their language of closeness, noticing what makes them feel safe, seen, and chosen. With an asexual partner, intimacy may unfold through quiet presence, shared routines, laughter at odd hours, or the simple relief of being understood. It can be gentle, deeply intentional, and surprisingly grounding. Maybe affection shows up in conversations that linger, hands held without urgency, or trust built through consistency rather than chemistry. Love still grows here, just at its own pace; soft, thoughtful, and real. When <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":630,"featured_media":116440,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[24],"tags":[2532],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73431"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/630"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=73431"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73431\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":117507,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73431\/revisions\/117507"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/116440"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=73431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=73431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=73431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}