

{"id":73225,"date":"2021-12-28T10:07:38","date_gmt":"2021-12-28T10:07:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=73225"},"modified":"2024-09-27T10:20:04","modified_gmt":"2024-09-27T10:20:04","slug":"desertion-in-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/desertion-in-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is Desertion in Marriage &#038; 5 Reasons Why It Occurs"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-73263\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/what-is-desertion-in-marriage-reasons-why-it-occurs.jpg\" alt=\"Desperate man holding girlfriend hand walking away, couple break-up, divorce\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is quite well-known that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/the-role-of-romance-in-a-relationship-and-its-importance\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">every romantic relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, especially marriage, is characterized by various phases. After that wonderful honeymoon stage of the marriage or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/is-my-relationship-over\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship is over<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, the complexity of marriage starts shining through.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But there is quite a distinct difference in the various consequences or outcomes that can stem from <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/8-common-problems-in-married-life\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">facing difficulties in marriages<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. There&rsquo;s the occurrence of desertion in marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Other grave consequences may include a separation between married partners and even divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And although separation and divorce are two commonly heard concepts, what is desertion in marriage? What are the causes of desertion in marriage? Are there signs? What are the distinct differences between separation and desertion?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are probably the most commonly asked questions regarding desertion in marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to learn more about desertion in marriage and other important concepts under desertion in marriage, just read on!<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Desertion-in-marriage-What-does-it-mean\"><\/span>Desertion in marriage: What does it mean?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what does desertion mean in a marriage? <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/understanding-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having a clear understanding<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of the concept of desertion in marriages is a great place to start.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you understand the legal meaning of desertion in marriages, it will be easier to grasp the other concepts related to desertion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>When a married individual wilfully abandons their obligations or duties, especially to their significant other (the partner married to them) or their child, it is called desertion in marriage.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Although every state or country has its definition of the concept of desertion in marriage, the aforementioned definition is a good general outline of the concept.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, desertion by husband or wife happens <\/span><b>when either one of the spouses leaves their family home and the relationship without letting their partner know about this<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It happens suddenly and without the consent of the other spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What further complicates the concept of desertion in marriages is the involvement of children in that marriage. Some states can charge the partner who has deserted the marriage with criminal abandonment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the spouse is charged with criminal abandonment, their partner can even use this charge as a solid ground for a<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hg.org\/legal-articles\/what-is-the-difference-between-fault-and-no-fault-divorce-37388\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">fault divorce<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><strong><i>Related Reading: <\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/know-about-spousal-abandonment-syndrome\/\"><i>All About Spousal Abandonment Syndrome<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-differences-between-desertion-and-separation\"><\/span>The differences between desertion and separation<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the key differences between <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/separation\/marriage-separation-how-to-turn-it-into-a-positive-experience\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">separation in marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and desertion lies in the basic definition of these two terms.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Desertion happens when one spouse leaves the marriage without consent or without communicating (about leaving) to the partner. Separation is different from desertion in marriage.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In separation, both partners involved in the marriage <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-make-a-strong-decision-together\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">make a mutual decision<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> about leaving. In separation, even if there isn&rsquo;t a mutual agreement about leaving, the spouse that intends to leave informs the other partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to desertion, the partner who has abandoned their significant other and children (if any) and quit their duties and obligations towards the family does not intend to return.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to separation, it gets more complicated. Couples who are separating talk about how long they want to be separated. Separation can <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">lead to a divorce<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but that&rsquo;s not the only possible outcome.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A couple may even decide to work on their differences and reunite after separation. When it comes to separation, important matters like childcare, finances, etc., are also discussed between married partners.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><strong><i>Also Try: <\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/the-big-love-quiz-for-girls\"><i>The Big Love Quiz For Girls<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another significant difference between desertion in marriage and separation is the divorce aspect of these concepts. Desertion as a ground for divorce is a likely outcome of desertion if it is criminal desertion.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As already mentioned, divorce can be one of the outcomes of separation but not the only outcome of separation between married couples.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Desertion-in-marriage-How-long-is-it\"><\/span>Desertion in marriage: How long is it?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you&rsquo;re well aware of what desertion is in marriage and how desertion grounds for divorce work, let&rsquo;s take a look at how desertion lasts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Desertion is a solid ground for a fault divorce is already mentioned. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Divorce is one of the main outcomes<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of desertion in marriage. However, desertion or abandonment comes with its share of criteria.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Apart from the criteria already mentioned about desertion, another important criterion of desertion is the duration of such abandonment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A vast majority of states have mandated that the abandonment by the spouse must last for a particular period to be granted desertion divorce. This duration of abandonment varies according to the state.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, <\/span><b>the period of abandonment must be continuous, and it usually varies between one year and five years<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><b>However, the most commonly mandated duration is a year.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Apart from the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/separation\/marriage-separation-how-long-should-a-marriage-separation-last\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">period of separation<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> being continuous or uninterrupted, it is also essential to prove to the court that the abandonment occurred without the knowledge or consent of the spouse that has been abandoned.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-top-signs-of-desertion\"><\/span>The top signs of desertion<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-73264\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/the-top-signs-of-desertion.jpg\" alt=\"sad men and women sitting apart at bedroom on bed\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The peculiar thing about desertion is that it usually comes out of the blue. It is unexpected and shocking for the spouse and children (if any) if it happens. Therefore, it is quite difficult to be on the lookout for signs of desertion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, some definite signs of psychological abandonment can be identified in partners, which may serve as a precursor for desertion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let us now take a look at some of the top signs of psychological desertion in marriages. These signs include:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>A prominent absence of physical togetherness<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An imbalance in the amount of time dedicated to a marriage by the partners is difficult to deal with. If one partner dedicates a lot of their time and attention to the marriage but the other partner doesn&rsquo;t, there is a prominent lack of physical togetherness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If a partner feels like their spouse doesn&rsquo;t care about them or the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/are-you-feeling-alone-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">partner feels lonely<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or the only one in the marriage, these may all be signs of psychological abandonment.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><strong><i>Also Try: <\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/quiz-to-find-out-the-importance-of-sex-and-intimacy\"><i>Quiz To Find Out The Importance Of Sex And Intimacy<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n<h3><b>Denial is a strong indicator of psychological abandonment<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If a spouse resorts to denial for dealing with most of their issues, including relationship problems or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/resolve-conflict-in-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">marriage conflicts<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, then there is a high possibility that they might be psychologically abandoning their partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>You feel that your partner is self-centered<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your partner has distanced themselves from you, which may be prominent from the absence of physical togetherness or the rampant usage of denial by your partner, you will begin to feel psychologically abandoned.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This happens because you feel your partner is in their own world, only thinking about themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/maggie-martinez\">Maggie Martinez<\/a>, LCSW, says<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>This is why it is important to note that you can be physically and emotionally abandoned and deserted by your partner.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b><i>Learn about the traits of a self-centered partner here:<\/i><\/b><br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/kTGRvkmanSw\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>Silence and one-sided conversations are common<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communication will be another challenge in a marriage <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/intimacy\/5-reasons-why-theres-intimacy-missing-in-your-marriage\/\">lacking any sort of intimacy<\/a>. The partner who has been psychologically abandoned may feel like they have no one to talk to at all. The <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/identify-you-are-in-a-one-sided-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">conversations may feel one-sided<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and the silence may feel never-ending.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><strong><i>Also Try: <\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/are-you-in-a-toxic-relationship-quiz\"><i>Are You In A Toxic Relationship Quiz<\/i><\/a><i>?<\/i><\/strong><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-reasons-why-desertion-occurs-in-marriages\"><\/span>5 reasons why desertion occurs in marriages<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&rsquo;s take a look at some of the common causes of desertion in marriages:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. The inability to get divorced in any other way<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Although this reason for desertion might sound quite strange, it is possible. Desertion by a wife or husband can occur in situations where it is impossible to get a divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For instance, if an individual is dealing with a partner who is extremely ill and needs constant care, the couple will most likely not be <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">granted divorce by the court<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. So, in such cases, desertion can occur.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><strong><i>Also Try: <\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/should-you-get-a-divorce-take-this-quiz-and-find-out\"><i>Should You Get A Divorce? Take This Quiz And Find Out<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n<h3><b>2. It has become impossible for the husband or wife to stay in the marriage<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a reason for<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.oxfordreference.com\/view\/10.1093\/oi\/authority.20110803095634820?rskey=V3LVsa&amp;result=17\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">constructive desertion<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in marriages. If a man has made living situations impossible and torturous for his wife, then his wife can abandon him on the grounds of constructive desertion.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Physical cruelty and mental cruelty<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Desertion in marriages also occurs if a spouse is being threatened and tortured physically and\/or mentally and discussing separating is hence, out of the question.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><strong><i>Related Reading: <\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/signs-you-are-experiencing-emotional-and-mental-abuse\/\"><i>50 Signs of Emotional Abuse and Mental Abuse: How to Identify It<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n<h3><b>4. Unforeseen financial issues<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If a person who is responsible for financially supporting the family suddenly finds themselves unable to support their family because of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/finance\/money-issues-that-can-destroy-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">unforeseen money problems<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, they may choose to escape from the situation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The shame or feelings of inadequacy can push people to behave in unexpected ways.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Infidelity<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-73265 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/infidelity.jpg\" alt=\"Men and women standing alone after fight studio shot\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another popular cause of desertion is an <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/extramarital-affairs\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">extramarital affair <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(usually involving the spouse who will abandon the marriage).<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-effectively-deal-with-desertion-in-marriages\"><\/span>How to effectively deal with desertion in marriages<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Desertion can be heartbreaking. Check out the ways to deal with desertion:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Don&rsquo;t blame yourself<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to dealing with desertion in marriages, it is essential <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-deal-with-someone-who-blames-you-for-everything\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">not to blame yourself<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for what has happened. Be patient with yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><strong><i>Also Try: <\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/am-i-defensive-quiz\"><i>Am I Defensive Quiz<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Practice self-love<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being suddenly abandoned can hurt your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-know-your-self-worth-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">self-esteem and confidence<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. But it isn&rsquo;t on you. Remember that. Investing precious time in yourself is key. Focus on your own mental and physical health.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Opt for counseling<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Apart from taking legal action, a great way to kick start your journey of self-care and self-growth is by opting for counseling. You can begin with counseling, but <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/the-role-of-psychotherapy-in-healthy-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">you can also consider psychotherapy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><strong><i>Also Try: <\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/should-i-get-divorce-or-stay-together-quiz\"><i>Should I Get Divorce Or Stay Together Quiz<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n<h3><b>Conclusion<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dealing with desertion in marriage is an uphill battle, but you can emerge victorious if you focus on yourself and work on yourself. Consider focusing on your mental health through<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/339140599_Counselling_and_Psychotherapy_Is_There_Any_Difference\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">therapy or counseling<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and remember not to blame yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It is quite well-known that every romantic relationship, especially marriage, is characterized by various phases. After that wonderful honeymoon stage of the marriage or relationship is over, the complexity of marriage starts shining through. But there is quite a distinct difference in the various consequences or outcomes that can stem from facing difficulties in marriages. There&rsquo;s the occurrence of desertion in marriage. Other grave consequences may include a separation between married partners and even divorce. And although separation and divorce are two commonly heard concepts, what is desertion in marriage? What are the causes of desertion in marriage? Are there <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":73263,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2606],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73225"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=73225"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73225\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":104575,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73225\/revisions\/104575"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/73263"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=73225"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=73225"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=73225"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}