

{"id":71348,"date":"2021-11-10T06:11:29","date_gmt":"2021-11-10T06:11:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=71348"},"modified":"2026-03-24T04:49:18","modified_gmt":"2026-03-24T04:49:18","slug":"how-to-spot-a-liar-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-spot-a-liar-in-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Spot a Liar in a Relationship- 15 Ways"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-71351\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/how-to-spot-a-liar-in-a-relationship.jpg\" alt=\"Side View of Elegant Man Looking Surprised When Being Caught on Lie\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As Mark Twain famously said,&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;If you tell the truth, you don&rsquo;t have to remember anything.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most of us aren&rsquo;t natural liars, so we can get into such a tangle when we lie. Interestingly, psychologist Robert S. Feldman&rsquo;s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2002\/06\/020611070813.htm\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> shows that 60% of people lie at least once in a 10-minute conversation. With all this lying going on, the question that arises is how to spot a liar in a relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There&rsquo;s nothing more devastating than <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/how-to-deal-with-a-cheater\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">having someone cheat on you<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Then again, suspecting you&rsquo;re being lied to in a relationship and that cheating is going on is perhaps worse.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If this is you and you&rsquo;re wondering how to spot a liar in a relationship, look for changes <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/behaviors-that-ruin-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in your partner&rsquo;s behavior<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. You can find a full list of details in this <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">article <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">that can help you understand when your spouse lies to you and is actually cheating.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-spot-a-liar-in-a-relationship-15-signs\"><\/span><b>How to spot a liar in a relationship- 15 signs<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a spouse lies to you, they will give away little signs unless they&rsquo;re a pathological liar. This personality disorder involves changes in brain connections and only happens to about 8% to 13% of the population, according to psychiatric <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/prcp.psychiatryonline.org\/doi\/full\/10.1176\/appi.prcp.20190046\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Assuming that&rsquo;s not your partner, here are some proven clues for how to spot a liar in a relationship:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Body language<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to tell if your spouse is lying starts with <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-your-body-language-says-about-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">what their body tells you<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everyone exhibits different physical signs of lying because we feel uncomfortable when deceiving someone. That&rsquo;s why we fidget or even unconsciously protect our vulnerable areas such as the throat, nose, and face. Liars might also stand in a very stiff and awkward way, almost as if they&rsquo;re under the spotlight.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Also Try: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/does-he-like-my-body-language-quiz\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does He Like My Body Language Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Changes in tone and cadence<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The voice usually gives people away <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/lies-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">when they lie<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. So, listen to their tone and rhythm for how to tell if your spouse is lying to you. Of course, how to detect lies in a relationship assumes that you have a baseline to compare to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then again, if you&rsquo;re <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/dos-and-donts-of-new-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">new to the relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and seeing some lying spouse signs, it&rsquo;s very likely that they are lying. As <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologicalscience.org\/news\/releases\/the-unconscious-mind-can-detect-a-liar-even-when-the-conscious-mind-fails.html\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> shows, our unconscious mind is a great lie detector and a useful ally for how to spot a liar in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Facial expressions<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you noticed the flash of a smirk or a frown? Is that what&rsquo;s got you wondering how to spot a liar in a relationship?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our faces give lots of clues to look out for when wondering how to tell when a guy or girl is lying to you. So, look for strange movements in the eyes, over-staring, or if they keep looking at the door.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/romantic-gestures-how-to-express-yourself\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Romantic Gestures: How to Express Yourself<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>4. Unusual behavior<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re wondering how to tell if your partner is lying, start by observing them. Do they seem weirdly calm or overly agitated, for instance? What about suddenly taking too much care of their appearance? They might also disappear at weird times during the day or night without explanation.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Denial<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to know how to spot a liar in a relationship, listen to how often they <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/honesty-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">advocate honesty<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and deny lying. Those little phrases &ldquo;I never said that&rdquo; might suddenly pop up more than usual.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Also Try: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/is-my-boyfriend-lying-to-me-quiz\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is My Boyfriend Lying to Me Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Over or under-detailed stories<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-71352\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/over-or-under-detailed-stories.jpg\" alt=\"An Upset Lady Sitting on the Stairwell Accuses a Man of Infidelity or Lying\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to know how to tell if a guy or girl is lying to you, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/listening-skills-why-are-they-so-important-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">listen to their words<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If they don&rsquo;t give enough details about their stories, it&rsquo;s very likely they&rsquo;re lying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This often comes with a certain self-assurance because most men think they&rsquo;re good liars, as <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/neurosciencenews.com\/men-liars-15335\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> shows. On the flip side, some people get so nervous that they overcompensate their stories with too much information.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Inconsistencies<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/become-a-better-listener\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Listen for inconsistencies<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in what your partner is saying when working out how to spot a liar in a relationship. Somehow their stories never seem to add up and they can sound evasive. You&rsquo;ll hear them double backing on themselves or correcting something they said earlier that day.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/signs-you-should-stay-away-from-someone\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">15 Signs You Should Stay Away From Someone<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>8. Indirect answers<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/deal-with-a-lying-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lying to a spouse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> often involves side-stepping questions or topics in general.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&rsquo;s why learning how to spot a liar in a relationship also involves listening to counter-accusations. Perhaps you&rsquo;ve asked a very innocent question about their day and they launch into a tirade of how you also take days off. Being lied to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/the-true-meaning-of-being-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in a relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> leads to confusion, doubt, and finally disdain.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Avoids I or We<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Liars tend to leave themselves out of their fabricated stories. It&rsquo;s probably one of the easiest methods to note when wondering how to spot a liar in a relationship. Liars tend to talk about other people perhaps even with the vague hope that they <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-stop-the-blame-game-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">can blame those people<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> if it all goes wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Other phrases lying spouses might use could be &ldquo;to be honest&rdquo;, &ldquo;to tell you the truth&rdquo;, &ldquo;believe me&rdquo; or anything else along those lines. These <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/signs-of-a-pathological-liar\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">signs of a lying spouse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;will be different for everyone but if your partner suddenly starts using new phrases, you can raise an alarm.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Changes in breathing<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lying to a spouse often comes with changes in breathing. Some might hold their breath or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/tips-on-speaking-with-each-other-respectfully\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">start speaking<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and breathing really fast. These traits are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-is-guilt-tripping-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">linked to guilt<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and the internal conflict that&rsquo;s going on with your partner. So, spotting a liar in a relationship means looking at how uncomfortable they appear.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relationship-strategies-and-techniques-to-eliminate-stress\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5 Relationship Strategies &amp; Techniques to Eliminate Stress<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>11. Increased conflicts<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you noticed you&rsquo;re arguing more often about strangely small things?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lying to your partner can <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-stop-being-defensive-in-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">make someone defensive<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> so they react to every little thing you say and do. So, if you&rsquo;re puzzled about how the dynamics have recently changed, perhaps you should consider confronting your spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>12. Lack of intimacy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to spot a liar in a relationship often involves observing changes <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/stages-of-physical-intimacy-in-a-new-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in physical intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many reasons why people lie but they usually start with some form of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/loving-someone-with-anxiety\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">discomfort and anxiety<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. People try to hide something about themselves when they lie. That then usually translates to not being <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/having-trouble-feeling-close-and-connected-find-out-what-to-do-about-it\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">able to be physically close<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to the object of their lying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Also Try: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/am-i-scared-of-intimacy-quiz\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Am I Scared of Intimacy Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<h3><b>13. Gaslighting<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/recognize-and-handle-manipulation-in-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This form of manipulation<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> necessarily comes with lying. It can involve holding back information or denying your feelings about very real situations.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A Medical News Today <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.medicalnewstoday.com\/articles\/gaslighting\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">article<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> goes through more examples. Either way, how to tell when a guy or girl is lying can leave you feeling belittled. Then there&rsquo;s a high probability that you&rsquo;re dealing with the signs of a lying spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to find out more about dealing with gaslighting, watch this video featuring clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula:&nbsp;<\/span><br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/FISZshe9L3s\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>14. Strange phone habits<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mobile phones are great tools for working out how to spot a liar in a relationship. For example, has your partner suddenly become very protective of their phone? Do they turn their back on you and hunch over their phone while messaging? These could be sure signs of a lying and cheating spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Also Try: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/is-my-husband-or-wife-boyfriend-girlfriend-likely-to-cheat\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is Your Partner Likely To Cheat On You<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<h3><b>15. Listen to your gut<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As mentioned earlier, our unconscious mind is a fantastic lie detector. The answer to how to spot a liar in a relationship, therefore, lies in listening to your gut. The best way to do this is to find a calm and quiet spot so you can breathe and listen to your body.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then, try to feel what&rsquo;s going on. Do you get uncomfortable sensations across your skin, shoulders, stomach, or anywhere else when you think <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-be-a-good-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">about your spouse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">? As therapist Caroline Donofrio shares in this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.inc.com\/jessica-stillman\/how-to-listen-to-your-gut.html\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">article,<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> if you feel heavy, tight, and have a sense of dread, you&rsquo;re probably dealing with a lying partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dealing-with-the-signs-of-a-lying-spouse\"><\/span><b>Dealing with the signs of a lying spouse<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s ok when your spouse lies about little things such as <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/finance\/spending-habits\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">spending a little bit<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> more on those shoes or suits. On the flip side, lying to your partner about themselves or their lives can lead to disaster. The good news, though, is that you can <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-recover-from-a-toxic-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">reclaim your relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with a bit of work.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">First, how to spot a liar in a relationship means getting curious. Ask them questions but don&rsquo;t be aggressive about it.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For instance, it&rsquo;s ok to ask for more details such as &ldquo;who was at lunch.&rdquo; Showing interest is perfectly valid. <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you have your evidence when things don&rsquo;t add up, you&rsquo;ll have to ask yourself why your partner is lying and then how to confront them about it.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why-does-my-partner-lie-to-me\"><\/span><b>Why does my partner lie to me?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-71353\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/why-does-my-partner-lie-to-me.jpg\" alt=\"Young Couple Is Having a Heated Argument Because of Jealous While Still in Bed\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/neurosciencenews.com\/lie-honest-15601\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">researchers<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> have shown, people lie as a defense mechanism. They might be worried about their reputation or ashamed about something they&rsquo;ve done. Sometimes people also fear their partners&rsquo; reactions and don&rsquo;t want to disappoint them. Think about someone who&rsquo;s trying to give up smoking but sneaks the odd cigarette here and there.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Harsh as this might sound when we spot physical signs of lying, we also need to ask ourselves what role we&rsquo;ve played in this dynamic. Over-criticizing or nit-picking can push someone over the edge to become that lying spouse we all dread.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Also Try: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/is-he-lying-about-his-feelings-quiz\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is He Lying About His Feelings Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Facing-your-lying-spouse\"><\/span><b>Facing your lying spouse<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After you&rsquo;ve answered the question &ldquo;how to spot a liar in a relationship,&rdquo; you now need to go into action before it spirals out of control and destroys your relationship. If you&rsquo;re stumped with what to do when your spouse lies, first consider if you&rsquo;re willing to forgive them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you know that you&rsquo;re willing to fight for this relationship, you can talk to them gently and with compassion. The non-violent communication <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nonviolentcommunication.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/4part_nvc_process.pdf\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">framework<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is very helpful with this. You basically use I statements and talk about how you feel. Tell your partner that you&rsquo;re in pain and want to know how to help them so that you can improve things together.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Common-questions-about-lying-and-deception\"><\/span><b>Common questions about lying and deception<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to spot a liar in a relationship isn&rsquo;t just about going down a checklist. You also need to check in with your emotions and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/practice-self-compassion\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">give yourself lots of self-compassion<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. All relationships have ups and downs, and there&rsquo;s always the option to talk it out before making radical changes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some of these questions and answers might help you get started:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>How does lying impact a relationship?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As mentioned, it&rsquo;s common when a spouse lies about little things. On the other hand, big lies <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">can be one of the<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/six-things-that-can-destroy-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> things that destroy a relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> if you let them go too far. Without trust, you can&rsquo;t build a solid foundation for a healthy marriage, and you&rsquo;ll soon find yourselves alienating each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Can a relationship recover when your spouse lies to you?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What to do when your spouse lies starts with talking to them and creating a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-keeps-couples-together\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">safe space together<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Assuming you can forgive them, you&rsquo;ll need to set boundaries and ground rules for how trust and honesty work for you both in this relationship. If both partners are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-put-effort-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">willing to make an effort<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, then, with time and patience, relationships can recover.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Do liars ever change?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The majority of people aren&rsquo;t pathological liars, which means they can change if they want to. It also depends on what triggered them to start lying. If they <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/8-signs-you-are-insecure-in-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">feel insecure in the relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, they won&rsquo;t ever stop lying until they can be themselves. Assuming they know what they need, then yes, anyone can change with personal work, as <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/theconversation.com\/what-is-brain-plasticity-and-why-is-it-so-important-55967\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">neuroscientists<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can now prove to us with their research on brain plasticity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Also Try: <\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Am I settling in my relationship<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<h3><b>Why should you avoid liars?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Innate liars bring misery to people around them. How to spot a liar in a relationship can mean trying to understand if someone has grown up with lying as the tool they use to operate within the world. If that&rsquo;s the case, stay away.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&rsquo;s because it often means they have <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">some sort of mental disorder<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and unless you&rsquo;re willing to support them through therapy, it&rsquo;s often best to stay away from the start. It&rsquo;s not your responsibility to fix them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>How to tell if your partner is lying?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re wondering, &ldquo;why does my partner lie to me&rdquo; then look for the signs. Don&rsquo;t just rely on one sign but look for a combination of their body, facial and speech cues. Also, what&rsquo;s changed in their behavior, and whether they suddenly appear more cagey than usual after certain triggers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Also Try: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/should-i-be-friends-with-my-ex-quiz\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Should I Be Friends With My Ex Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-put-an-end-to-lying-in-your-relationship\"><\/span><b>How to put an end to lying in your relationship<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to detect lies in a relationship means first looking for the signs. Once you&rsquo;re convinced, you have to talk to them. There&rsquo;s no easy way around this one. Be honest about how you feel and ask them what they need from you to help them stop lying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/gift-of-listening\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Listen and empathize with them<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and show them that you want to support them but that lying needs to stop. Their response will then allow you to decide how you want to move forward.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Conclusion<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you can see, there are many signs for how to spot a liar in a relationship. These range from physical clues to verbal and behavioral ones. The tough task for you will be to understand what to do with this information. Assuming you want to fight for your relationship, find a quiet <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/making-time-for-you-and-your-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">time to talk to your partner<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and be open about what you would like to change.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be supportive but listen to how they respond. Then, be brave and keep to your moral values, and everything else should eventually fall into place.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As Mark Twain famously said,&nbsp; &ldquo;If you tell the truth, you don&rsquo;t have to remember anything.&rdquo;&nbsp; Most of us aren&rsquo;t natural liars, so we can get into such a tangle when we lie. Interestingly, psychologist Robert S. Feldman&rsquo;s research shows that 60% of people lie at least once in a 10-minute conversation. With all this lying going on, the question that arises is how to spot a liar in a relationship? There&rsquo;s nothing more devastating than having someone cheat on you. Then again, suspecting you&rsquo;re being lied to in a relationship and that cheating is going on is perhaps worse.&nbsp; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":71351,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[2511],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71348"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=71348"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":118808,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71348\/revisions\/118808"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/71351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=71348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=71348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=71348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}