

{"id":70808,"date":"2021-10-22T12:52:00","date_gmt":"2021-10-22T12:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=70808"},"modified":"2025-07-08T09:48:37","modified_gmt":"2025-07-08T09:48:37","slug":"emotional-attunement-in-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/emotional-attunement-in-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Tips for Practicing Emotional Attunement in Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-70812\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/tips-for-practicing-emotional-attunement-in-relationships.jpg\" alt=\"Happy Smiling Senior Couple Embracing Together at Home\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Finding emotional attunement in relationships is the act of looking for that one person who understands you in every sense without the need to necessarily verbally communicate those needs initially.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Subconsciously, as adults, individuals search for someone who will fulfill needs that might not have otherwise been satisfied in past relationships, even as far back as childhood.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being emotionally attuned is essential in all relationships, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/the-role-of-romance-in-a-relationship-and-its-importance\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">especially romantic connections<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Without this connection, partners can appear emotionally unavailable to their mate or absent, a misperception that<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/six-things-that-can-destroy-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> damages the partnership<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-emotional-attunement-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>What is emotional attunement in a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional attunement in relationships is one of the essentials for<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/secret-to-deeper-connection\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> building a deep and lasting connection<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> where each person feels safe and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/how-much-do-you-trust-your-spouse\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">holds trust for the other<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Attunement is the uncanny ability to sense, understand, and realize the other person&rsquo;s needs without explicitly having to verbalize those feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/dionne-reid\">Dionne Eleanor<\/a>, Relationship &amp; Empowerment Mentor, says<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Attunement is not about solving your partner&rsquo;s pain&mdash;it&rsquo;s about standing beside them as they feel it and trusting they will come through the other side.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everyone has an innate desire to be understood and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-build-empathy-in-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">shown empathy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. That doesn&rsquo;t always mean that your mate will agree with what you&rsquo;re experiencing, but it&rsquo;s an indication of connecting with you and<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/emotional-flooding-in-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> recognizing your emotions<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The primary aspect to remember with emotional attunement in relationships, it&rsquo;s not &ldquo;agreement,&rdquo; nor is agreeing important.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if the same situation would be less critical to your partner or cause them less stress, your mate puts their energy into placing themselves in your shoes, so to speak.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It allows them to see it from your perspective in order to provide a level of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/do-you-feel-that-understand-each-other\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">understanding to help them<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> move beyond these feelings to the point of processing and coping for your greatest good.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-benefits-of-emotional-attunements-in-relationships\"><\/span><b>5 benefits of emotional attunements in relationships<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional attunement in relationships refers to the ability to understand and respond to the emotions of others effectively. It involves being sensitive to the emotional cues and needs of those around you. Here are five benefits of emotional attunement:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Enhanced communication<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional attunement in relationships allows you to pick up on non-verbal cues, such as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/facial-expressions\/\">facial expressions<\/a>, body language, and tone of voice. This heightened awareness helps you understand the underlying emotions behind someone&rsquo;s words, enabling you to respond more accurately and empathetically. It improves your communication skills and fosters better connections with others.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Increased empathy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional attunement promotes empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you can attune to someone&rsquo;s emotions, you can put yourself in their shoes and genuinely understand their experiences. This empathy builds stronger relationships and fosters a supportive and compassionate environment.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Strengthened relationships<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional attunement in relationships is a key factor in building and maintaining healthy relationships. When you can attune to the emotions of others, you can respond appropriately and supportively. This helps to create a sense of trust, safety, and understanding in your relationships.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People feel heard and validated when their emotions are acknowledged, which strengthens the bonds between individuals.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Conflict resolution<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional attunement plays a vital role in resolving conflicts effectively. By understanding the emotions underlying a conflict, you can approach it with empathy and seek a solution that addresses the needs and concerns of all parties involved.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional attunement in relationships allows you to navigate difficult conversations with sensitivity, facilitating better understanding and compromise.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Personal growth<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Developing emotional attunement skills can also lead to personal growth and self-awareness.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you practice attuning to the emotions of others, you become more aware of your own emotions as well. This self-reflection helps you gain insight into your own feelings, needs, and triggers. It enables you to regulate your own emotions and respond in a more thoughtful and intentional manner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Overall, emotional attunement benefits both the individual practicing it and the people they interact with. It promotes effective communication, empathy, stronger relationships, conflict resolution, and personal growth. By attuning to the emotions of others, you can create a more harmonious and understanding social environment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-70814 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/questions-to-understand-better-will-show-concern.jpg\" alt=\"Husband and Wife Talking Together and Enjoying wine at Home\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-tips-for-practicing-emotional-attunement-in-relationships\"><\/span><b>10 tips for practicing emotional attunement in relationships<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If there is emotional attunement in relationships, partners will have the capacity to identify the other&rsquo;s pleasant and not-so-pleasant emotions and find methods for coping with these<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-keeps-couples-together\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> feelings together as a couple<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If emotional attunement for couples is missing, emotions can become misperceived, leading to ultimate conflict.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Truly grasping the definition of attunement and then working towards developing that<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/how-important-is-an-emotional-connection-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> emotional connection in a relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> will help you better understand the other on so many levels allowing the relationship to thrive as a supporting, trusting, safe, and respectful bond. Some tips to help you work towards this goal:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Practice active listening<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dionne Eleanor further adds,<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Active listening is an act of love&mdash;it says, &lsquo;You are worthy of my full presence.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many people face challenges with active listening.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some believe they are<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/heart-to-heart-relationship-conversations\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> involved in the conversation<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but there are so many thoughts racing through their mind, most often planning how to respond to what&rsquo;s said, that they&rsquo;re not paying attention to the emotion behind the content.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If we&rsquo;re honest, we&rsquo;ve been on the receiving end of these conversations, and it&rsquo;s not a pleasant situation to be involved in. In attempting to improve on what is attunement, you have to practice being present at the moment and<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/322722211_The_Power_of_Listening_Lending_an_Ear_to_the_Partner_During_Dyadic_Coping_Conversations\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> listening<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That means focusing on the person, watching their facial expression, feeling the emotion in their voice as they speak, and actively listening to the words.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Feeling heard will sometimes lead to your partner opening up a bit more. Sometimes figuring out a beneficial way to work through the problem is possible while sharing and getting the feelings out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You acting as a sounding board is crucial and not someone trying<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/solutions-for-8-common-relationship-issues\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to fix the problem<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ndash; unless they genuinely ask for help. Then pause and put time into your response before merely blurting out your thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/defensive-listening\/\" title=\"What Is Defensive Listening &amp; How to Deal With It\">What Is Defensive Listening &amp; How to Deal With It<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>2. Questions to understand better will show concern<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/understanding-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you&rsquo;re not quite understanding<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, ask questions to show that you&rsquo;re interested. It&rsquo;s essential to know more to have a better grasp of what&rsquo;s happening. If you sense your mate is only sharing part of the store, encourage further details with inquiries so the partner knows there&rsquo;s a concern.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to be emotionally attuned?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A significant piece of emotional attunement in relationships is identifying there&rsquo;s something &ldquo;off&rdquo; with your significant other and approaching them in an attempt to be there for them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your mate will realize you see their anguish or stress and that you want to understand so you can help them work through it. That&rsquo;s practicing emotional attunement and will<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/how-to-encourage-your-husband\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> encourage your husband<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to open up even more in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Pay attention to the nonverbal signs<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional attunement has a lot to do with recognizing nonverbal cues. While it will result in better verbal communication, the lead-up will often be a partner sensing or seeing these cues that lead them to believe some feelings need addressing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dionne Eleanor suggests,<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The unsaid often speaks the loudest&mdash;if you&rsquo;re attuned enough to hear it.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s crucial to be in tune or have that<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/secret-to-deeper-connection\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> deep connection<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that you know when something is up to lead you into that communicative aspect of attunement psychology.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.afponline.org\/ideas-inspiration\/topics\/articles\/Details\/the-5-key-principles-of-nonverbal-communication\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nonverbal cues<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> are unique for each person, but after time with a person, you will<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-your-body-language-says-about-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> begin to learn their body language<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, whether it be facial expressions, perhaps a change in posture, or even their energy. At that point, the open-ended questions need to start to lead you toward the feelings happening.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/nonverbal-communication-in-marriage\/\" title=\"Importance of Nonverbal Communication in Relationships\">Importance of Nonverbal Communication in Relationships<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>4. Validation is essential during the expression stage<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once your partner begins to<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/how-to-express-deep-love-for-someone\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> express their emotions<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, validation is an essential component to show your mate that you understand, hear, and see them. Encouragement is a large part of active listening.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Again, you don&rsquo;t have to agree with the feeling or find the emotion something you would experience. It&rsquo;s genuine for your partner, and that&rsquo;s important.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/honesty-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Validating means honesty<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, though, and if you disagree, you can say general statements to avoid making that discernment. Thank your mate for sharing. Encourage by indicating you appreciate hearing their point of view.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/how-to-express-your-love\/\" title=\"30 Romantic Ways To Express Your Love Through Words &amp; Actions\">30 Romantic Ways To Express Your Love Through Words &amp; Actions<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>5. Recognize possible triggers for yourself<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being emotionally attuned to your partner is crucial, but it&rsquo;s also critical to ensure that you pay attention to your emotions as you practice being in tune with your mate. You want to avoid potential triggers that can set off feelings for you, possible sights, smells, a touch, or sounds that might<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/what-is-trauma-bonding\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> create trauma<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the same way that you<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/appreciating-and-valuing-your-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> appreciate your partner<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> sharing, you, too, will need to express these events to your mate. That gives your significant other a chance to help you cope with these feelings so you practice emotional attunement together as a team.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/recover-from-overreactions-to-emotional-triggers\/\" title=\"6 Ways to Recover from Overreactions to Emotional Triggers\">6 Ways to Recover from Overreactions to Emotional Triggers<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-70816\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/touching-in-a-nonsexual-way.jpg\" alt=\"Couple in Love Sitting in Cafe Looking at Each Other\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Touching in a non-sexual way<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Becoming familiar with<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/intimacy\/the-power-of-touch-in-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> your partner with physical touch<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can help you develop an intense closeness, a deeper level of connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That can include hugging, holding each other, stroking the other&rsquo;s hair, massaging their skin, making intimate touch to explore what feels good, and ultimately developing a level of safety and<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/building-secure-attachment-with-your-spouse-things-you-can-do-to-create-it\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> security between the two of you<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/physical-touch-love-language\/\" title=\"What is the Physical Touch Love Language&reg;?\">What is the Physical Touch Love Language&reg;?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>7. Make communication a priority<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ultimately emotional attunement in relationships should lead to open, honest, safe <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.frontiersin.org\/articles\/10.3389\/fpsyg.2021.767908\/full\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">communication<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, the feeling you and your partner can share what they&rsquo;re experiencing with their <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/ways-to-improve-emotional-support-in-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotions verbally to their mate<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The idea in a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-is-the-definition-of-a-healthy-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">healthy relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is to find a way to work through emotions to a point where the person feeling them is satisfied, having been heard, seen, and validated for these emotions experienced.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/effective-relationship-communication-skills\/\" title=\"10 Effective Communication Skills in Relationships\">10 Effective Communication Skills in Relationships<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>8. Hold the gaze of your partner for a period of a few minutes<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The act of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/power-of-eye-contact\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">gazing into another person&rsquo;s eyes<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and holding that gaze can sometimes be challenging for people to do, but that is a practice that can help with improving emotional attunement in the same<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S2352900816300231\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> context as active listening<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Speaking with a person who gives <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/what-does-eye-contact-mean-to-a-guy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">full direct eye contact shows<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that what&rsquo;s verbalized is vital to that person and worth their undivided attention.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Couples should use this as an exercise in becoming emotionally attuned when they sit and practice gazing deep into the other&rsquo;s eyes for as long as a few minutes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this video to learn the importance of eye contact:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/cIXvBwnYZs8\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Tolerance is critical&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tolerance means accepting there are different emotions and ways of viewing things that differ from your own.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s essential to take our loved one&rsquo;s reality and separate that from our own opinions and thought processes instead <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/understanding-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">of understanding and helping them<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> cope with theirs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There should never be a time that you dismiss their emotions by advising them to &ldquo;let it go&rdquo; or &ldquo;look for the silver lining.&rdquo; These statements diminish their feelings, making them believe you find them trivial. Attunement should lead to healthy, open, healing conversations.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dionne Eleanor points out,<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional maturity begins when we stop needing others to feel like every small detail about us in order to feel close to them.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/tolerance-vs-acceptance-in-relationships\/\" title=\"Tolerance vs. Acceptance in Relationships: 10 Differences\">Tolerance vs. Acceptance in Relationships: 10 Differences<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>10. Empathy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the other person feels your empathy, you&rsquo;re successful with emotional attunement. Empathy tells your mate that you &ldquo;feel&rdquo; what they&rsquo;re experiencing, you understand, and you <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/how-to-share-your-feelings-with-your-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">express those thoughts<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in words so your partner recognizes the validity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are saying it is reasonable for your mate to have these emotions, and many people in the same situation might have similar feelings. You have developed a strong connection that will grow deeper as your relationship builds.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-build-empathy-in-relationships\/\" title=\"How to Build Empathy in Relationships\">How to Build Empathy in Relationships<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-I-improve-my-emotional-connection-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>Can I improve my emotional connection in a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is possible to improve the connection in a couplehood when it becomes apparent there is no emotional attunement. The way this is discernible is when <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/steps-to-resolve-conflict-with-your-partner\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">conversations continually lead to conflict<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&rsquo;s because partners are bringing opinions and personal feelings into the conversations instead of practicing selflessness, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/how-to-be-an-active-listener-in-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">active listening<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and focusing on the other person, which are significant components of being attuned.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If a mate is experiencing emotional turmoil, what the other thinks or feels or whether they agree with the logistics of the situation is irrelevant. The moment is about the mate and how their partner could help that mate cope with what&rsquo;s currently happening in their life, with the partner&rsquo;s personal reasoning, not a consideration.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That requires observing and responding in a validating and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/encouraging-communication-with-your-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">encouraging manner<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> without attempting to fix anything. You can learn this in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">couples counseling<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Final-thoughts\"><\/span><b>Final thoughts<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Dionne Eleanor mentions,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional attunement isn&rsquo;t about perfection&mdash;it&rsquo;s about showing up, again and again, with an open heart and willing presence.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Suppose you are half of a couple struggling with the concept of emotional attunement in relationships. In that case, counseling can be a starting point to develop a guideline for starting the process.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking two individuals with separate sets of reasoning tools and putting them into a single relationship expecting them to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/emotional-attachment\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">develop an emotional attachment<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> takes time, practice, and sometimes outside help.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s not easy for anyone, but it&rsquo;s not necessarily impossible. It&rsquo;s most certainly worth the effort, depending on the initial connection.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Finding emotional attunement in relationships is the act of looking for that one person who understands you in every sense without the need to necessarily verbally communicate those needs initially. Subconsciously, as adults, individuals search for someone who will fulfill needs that might not have otherwise been satisfied in past relationships, even as far back as childhood. Being emotionally attuned is essential in all relationships, especially romantic connections. Without this connection, partners can appear emotionally unavailable to their mate or absent, a misperception that damages the partnership. What is emotional attunement in a relationship? Emotional attunement in relationships is one <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":70812,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[24],"tags":[2527],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70808"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70808"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70808\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":110801,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70808\/revisions\/110801"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/70812"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70808"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70808"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70808"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}