

{"id":70222,"date":"2021-09-28T12:16:02","date_gmt":"2021-09-28T12:16:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=70222"},"modified":"2022-12-15T08:20:31","modified_gmt":"2022-12-15T08:20:31","slug":"the-seven-year-itch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/the-seven-year-itch\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is the 7-Year Itch And Will It Hurt Your Relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-70226\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/what-is-the-seven-year-itch-and-will-it-hurt-your-relationship.jpg\" alt=\"Love and Family Concept - Smiling Couple Hugging and Looking at Each Other\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Celebrating seven years together is undoubtedly an achievement, but this milestone isn&rsquo;t without its challenges.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After all, it&rsquo;s during this time when many couples experience what&rsquo;s called the &ldquo;7 years itch,&rdquo; wherein one or both parties experience a level of dissatisfaction or boredom with their long-term relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While it&rsquo;s considered normal to fall into a slump after being with the same person for a while, this unique phenomenon can still be tough to address, especially if you&rsquo;re unsure of what it is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what is the 7-year itch, and how does it affect relationships? Moreover, is there anything you can do to prevent it?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-7-years-itch-%E2%80%93-an-overview\"><\/span>The 7 years itch &ndash; an overview<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Relationships are admittedly complex, and committing yourself to a single person can be even more so for the rest of your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, many couples had stood the test of time and managed to make it work, even when their circumstances were unfavorable or near-impossible. So, why do many people say that the<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">7th year of marriage is the hardest?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this case, the difficulties you and your partner face upon reaching the 7 year mark in a relationship might be due to what many call the &ldquo;seven-year itch.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is the 7 year itch? As mentioned, this is when one or both parties involved feel a level of dissatisfaction, and sometimes boredom, with the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In some cases, these feelings become too intense and incredibly difficult to ignore that it incites more conflicts in the relationship, further dividing the couple.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While conflicts are a<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/relationships.org.au\/document\/normal-differences-and-warning-signs-of-a-relationship-breakdown\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> natural part of relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, too much of them can put a large amount of strain on your marriage, which can be detrimental both to your relationship and overall health.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-seven-year-itch-psychology-%E2%80%93-is-it-real-and-does-it-put-your-relationship-at-risk\"><\/span>The seven-year itch psychology &ndash; is it real, and does it put your relationship at risk?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, is the seven-year itch real? Is it a steadfast rule for couples? Whether or not it&rsquo;s real, there has been some evidence to support its existence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to the American Psychological Association or APA, the chances of divorce are<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.apa.org\/monitor\/2013\/04\/marriage\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> 50% higher<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in couples marrying for the first time, with most marriages ending at the<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jacksonwhitelaw.com\/arizona-family-law\/what-year-of-a-marriage-is-divorce-most-common\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> seven- or eight-year mark<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Aside from this, other<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/24493065\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> studies<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> have shown that these figures are typically low during the first few months or years of the marriage, then slowly increase before reaching their peak and lowering again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what does this mean for you and your partner? Does this mean your marriage will inevitably end?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While no one enters a relationship or marriage expecting it to fail, it can be admittedly tough to sustain the same level of affection and energy you had during the earlier parts of your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, experiencing a 7 year itch relationship crisis doesn&rsquo;t mean that your relationship or marriage is doomed, nor does it mean that it will inevitably happen to you and your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In fact, there are some ways you can prevent this slump from happening or resolve it when it does.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, why do couples break up after 7 years? In most cases, the problems you might experience at this time often stem from various issues you and your partner have yet to address.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These can be <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/top-10-causes-of-relationship-communication-problems\/\">communication problems<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/commitment-phobia\/\">commitment issues<\/a>, or financial problems that can put a strain on your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what can you do to overcome this crisis?<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><em><strong>Related Reading:&nbsp;<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/solutions-for-8-common-relationship-issues\/\">How to Handle Relationship Problems Like a Pro<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Top-10-tips-to-prevent-or-resolve-the-7-year-itch-relationship-crisis\"><\/span>Top 10 tips to prevent or resolve the 7 year itch relationship crisis<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what can you do when you experience these 7 year relationship problems? In this case, you can try the following tips.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Introspect and analyze your situation<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One 7 year itch relationship advice you can try is to take some time to reflect and think about your current situation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, if you feel stuck or exhausted, you can ask yourself, is the relationship or marriage causing these feelings?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Or is it just a general feeling of restlessness, and you&rsquo;re only focusing on your relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Identifying what&rsquo;s causing this &ldquo;itch&rdquo; can help you understand what you need to do to address these feelings and find a solution that works for both of you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Put it onto a pen and paper<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-70229\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/put-it-onto-a-pen-and-paper.jpg\" alt=\"Hand of businesswoman writing on paper in office\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In line with the previous tip, putting your thoughts and feelings onto pen and paper can help you see things from a clearer perspective.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be an excellent way to explore your thoughts and feelings without voicing them out loud or sharing them if you&rsquo;re uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After all, you can share everything you need to in your journal without the fear of being judged or misunderstood. It can serve as a safe space while you work things out by yourself first.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Remind yourself of what you love about your partner<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you&rsquo;re in a seven-year itch relationship, it can be tough to remember the good times you had or why you&rsquo;re together.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, if you&rsquo;re determined to make your marriage work, it can be a good idea to take some time and remind yourself that it wasn&rsquo;t always bad.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reminding yourself all the things you love about your partner or spouse can help reduce that &ldquo;itch.&rdquo; Moreover, it can help reignite that spark and make you feel grateful again for their presence in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><em><strong>Related Reading:&nbsp;<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-to-do-when-the-relationship-spark-is-gone\/\">What to Do When It Feels Like the Spark Is Gone<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n<h3><b>4. Talk it out<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/importance-of-communication-in-relationships\/\">Communication is critical<\/a> for any relationship, romantic or otherwise. So, if you think you&rsquo;re experiencing the 7 years itch, it might be a good idea to talk it out with your partner, especially once you&rsquo;ve taken the time to think things through.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After all, you&rsquo;re in this with them, and communicating what you&rsquo;re feeling or thinking will allow them to help you come up with potential solutions that can strengthen your marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, it&rsquo;s best to approach this topic with caution and respect, avoiding potentially blaming your partner for what&rsquo;s happening. After all, you want to resolve the issue, not make it worse.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Become involved in each other&rsquo;s interests<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you&rsquo;re experiencing the 7 years itch, it can be easy to become resentful of your partner&rsquo;s interests, especially if you&rsquo;re not interested in them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Similarly, your partner might feel like they&rsquo;re no longer a part of your life if you don&rsquo;t include them in yours.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, in this case, one way you can address your 7 year relationship problems is by making an effort to become more involved in each other&rsquo;s independent hobbies and interests.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Doing so might help bring you closer together and allow you to explore something new with each other, extinguishing that yearning for novelty.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Be more affectionate with each other<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While sharing something with your partner beyond what&rsquo;s physical is always good, studies have shown that physical touch offers<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/touch-starved#benefits-of-touch\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> numerous benefits to people<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, especially in relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being physically affectionate with your partner can help bring you closer together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this case, being physically closer doesn&rsquo;t necessarily mean sexual intimacy; it can be simply holding hands or giving a peck on the cheek before and after work.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Here is a video that will help you build healthy relationship habits:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o4Y5Mr8rZ9A\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Make time for each other<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With most people leading busy lives, it can be easy to forget spending time with your partner, especially if both of you have other urgent priorities.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, similar to how physical touch can help strengthen your relationship, making time for your partner can help strengthen your bond.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, one piece of 7 year itch relationship advice you can try is to set aside some time just for the two of you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if you have kids, having some alone time together can help rekindle that fire and allow you to remember why you chose each other in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><em><strong>Related Reading:&nbsp;<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/making-time-for-you-and-your-spouse\/\">Making Time For You And Your Spouse<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n<h3><b>8. Learn to accept and embrace the different stages in your relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-70230\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/learn-to-accept-and-embrace-the-different-stages-in-your-relationship.jpg\" alt=\"Love Heart Balloons Against Couple Having Fun on Beach 3d\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like with most aspects of life, changes in your relationship are often inevitable, and it might be best to accept and embrace them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this case, it might help you and your partner overcome the 7 years itch if you accept that the &ldquo;<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/relationships\/honeymoon-phase#definition\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">honeymoon phase<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&rdquo; of your marriage wasn&rsquo;t designed to last.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, this doesn&rsquo;t mean you can&rsquo;t keep the romance alive because you actually can.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, accepting the honeymoon phase doesn&rsquo;t only mean that as your relationship progresses, so will your emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this case, that initial euphoria you felt by being with someone new will eventually turn into a more stable feeling of attachment. So, by learning to accept and embrace this new stage, along with all future stages, you can appreciate what you have now.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Let go of the idea of a &ldquo;perfect relationship&rdquo;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Similar to accepting that the honeymoon phase typically doesn&rsquo;t last, it might also be best if you let go of the idea that a relationship has to be &ldquo;perfect.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After all, you and your partner are only human, and there will be bad days along with the good days while you&rsquo;re together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, by letting go of the idea that relationships have to be perfect, that slumps like the 7 years itch and conflicts don&rsquo;t happen, you can better appreciate the good days and reduce the chances of feeling dissatisfied or bored with your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Try couples&rsquo; counseling<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In some cases, asking for help from someone outside the relationship can help prevent the 7 years itch, especially if both of you feel too emotional regarding the situation or are dealing with other issues.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, it would be best to go to someone skilled and capable of handling complex issues like this to ensure that you resolve the issue, not further aggravate this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this case, going to an experienced couples&rsquo; counselor can provide you and your partner a fresh and more objective perspective. They can even suggest potential solutions to what you&rsquo;re going through and help you and your partner deal with it more appropriately.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Similarly, counselors can also help you learn how to get over a 7 year relationship should you and your partner end things.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><em><strong>Also Try: <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/couples-counseling-quiz\">Should You Try Couples Counseling Quiz<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n<h3><b>Conclusion<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Relationships can undoubtedly be challenging, especially if you have been with someone as long as you have. In some cases, this can lead to the 7 years itch, which sometimes results in breakups and divorces.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, as complex as the situation may seem, this doesn&rsquo;t mean your marriage is bound to fail.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It might just mean that both of you have grown too comfortable with each other over the years and need something to remind you of what your relationship once was.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With that said, as long as both of you are still committed to making things work, all hope is not lost.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Celebrating seven years together is undoubtedly an achievement, but this milestone isn&rsquo;t without its challenges. After all, it&rsquo;s during this time when many couples experience what&rsquo;s called the &ldquo;7 years itch,&rdquo; wherein one or both parties experience a level of dissatisfaction or boredom with their long-term relationship. While it&rsquo;s considered normal to fall into a slump after being with the same person for a while, this unique phenomenon can still be tough to address, especially if you&rsquo;re unsure of what it is. So, what is the 7-year itch, and how does it affect relationships? Moreover, is there anything you can <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":70226,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[24],"tags":[2532],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70222"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70222"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70222\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":72628,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70222\/revisions\/72628"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/70226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70222"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70222"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70222"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}