

{"id":70182,"date":"2021-09-28T07:25:09","date_gmt":"2021-09-28T07:25:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=70182"},"modified":"2024-11-05T05:29:10","modified_gmt":"2024-11-05T05:29:10","slug":"constructive-criticism-in-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/constructive-criticism-in-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Constructive Criticism in a Relationship\u200b: Importance &#038; Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-70186\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/how-to-give-take-constructive-criticism-in-relationships.jpg\" alt=\"Young Childfree Wife and Husband Talking About Upcoming Work Day or Discussing About Plans on Weekend\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man&rsquo;s growth without destroying his roots. &ndash; Frank A. Clark<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Picture this: your partner points out something about you, but instead of feeling supported, you feel attacked.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Does criticism always have to sting, or can it be a tool for growth?<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We&rsquo;ve all been there&mdash;wondering what is constructive criticism in a relationship and how to give constructive criticism in a relationship without causing unnecessary tension.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can feedback be shared in a way that helps, rather than hurts? And how do you offer it without your partner feeling like they&rsquo;re under attack?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here&rsquo;s the truth: <\/span><b>when done right, constructive criticism can strengthen your bond.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><div class=\"research_highlight\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/articles\/PMC8915221\/#:~:text=Results%20revealed%20husbands%20and%20wives,links%20were%20small%20in%20magnitude.\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> even shows that couples who engage in open, yet considerate communication report higher satisfaction in their relationships.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This article talks about how to give constructive criticism in relationships with 10 actionable tips, helping you promote understanding while still addressing concerns effectively.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-constructive-criticism\"><\/span><b>What is constructive criticism?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>Constructive criticism in a relationship can also be labeled as positive criticism, as it does not come with the negative connotation that criticism in general can have.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S1871187117301529?casa_token=GpVx1oHY2kMAAAAA:U0eW5Ns0BsmQZ25hw4xrvLhYjTC3m58iYSOx4vENbCinzKPd-rNuXj5duKy-yQYAoSs0YpBJQxou\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">researchers,<\/span><\/a> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">there are several features of constructive criticism:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is non-threatening.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It avoids placing blame on the person.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It gives specific information.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The person giving it uses a considerate tone.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Constructive criticism is in contrast to more hostile forms of criticism, in which a partner is inconsiderate or threatening when offering feedback. The intent of hostile criticism is to hurt someone&rsquo;s feelings, whereas constructive criticism serves as a form of feedback that is intended to<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/improve-and-enrich-your-relationship\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">improve a relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>The intent is not to insult the other person, but rather to give specific examples of behavior and request change that will result in the growth of the relationship.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Constructive-criticism-vs-destructive-criticism\"><\/span><b>Constructive criticism vs. destructive criticism<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Criticism in relationships can either build bridges or burn them down. The difference between constructive criticism vs. destructive criticism in relationships lies in the intent and delivery. Constructive criticism in a relationship helps you grow, while destructive criticism only causes harm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, how do you give constructive criticism in relationships without it feeling like an attack? And where does the line fall between criticism vs. feedback in relationships? Let&rsquo;s break it down in a way that makes sense.<\/span><\/p>\n<table><tbody><tr><td><b>Aspect<\/b><\/td>\n<td><b>Constructive Criticism<\/b><\/td>\n<td><b>Destructive Criticism<\/b><\/td>\n<\/tr><tr><td><b>Intent<\/b><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To help your partner grow and improve<\/span><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To hurt, blame, or control<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr><tr><td><b>Tone<\/b><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Calm, supportive, and empathetic<\/span><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Harsh, dismissive, and aggressive<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr><tr><td><b>Focus<\/b><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Specific behaviors or actions that can be changed<\/span><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Personal attacks that target character or self-worth<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr><tr><td><b>Outcome<\/b><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fosters growth and understanding<\/span><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Creates resentment, insecurity, and distance<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr><tr><td><b>Feedback Style<\/b><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Offers actionable solutions and encouragement<\/span><\/td>\n<td><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Criticizes without offering a path for improvement<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Importance-of-constructive-criticism-in-relationships\"><\/span><b>Importance of constructive criticism in relationships<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>Constructive criticism in relationships is important because it is an alternative to hostile or destructive criticism, which can be harmful to relationships.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In fact, relationship expert<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dr. John Gottman<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> describes criticism as one of the &ldquo;four horsemen&rdquo; that can lead to the breakup of relationships. The difference with this type of criticism vs. constructive criticism is that negative criticism represents an attack on a partner&rsquo;s character, leading to hurt feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the other hand, constructive criticism can help to avoid the negative consequences of destructive criticism.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Constructive criticism is important because <\/span><b>it helps relationships to grow instead of damaging them.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> When two people enter into a relationship with each other, they bring with them different viewpoints and life experiences.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This means that they will inevitably have differences of opinion and misunderstandings from time to time. Constructive criticism helps couples to develop a<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/understand-your-partner\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">deeper understanding of each other<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and find solutions to manage their differences so that the relationship can grow.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-deal-with-differences-in-relationships\/\" title=\"How to Deal with Differences in Relationships Constructively\">How to Deal with Differences in Relationships Constructively<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Benefits-of-constructive-criticism-in-relationships\"><\/span><b>Benefits of constructive criticism in relationships<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-70187\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/benefits-of-constructive-criticism-in-relationships.jpg\" alt=\"Mixed Race Wife Holding Hands of Beloved Black Husband Family Share Problems Thoughts at Home\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is also important to note that<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-is-the-definition-of-a-healthy-relationship\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">healthy relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> require a certain degree of vulnerability in order to achieve<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/repairing-emotional-intimacy\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotional intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. When people avoid any and all criticism, including constructive criticism, they miss out on opportunities to grow closer to each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Check out these benefits of constructive criticism:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Growth within the relationship is certainly a benefit of constructive criticism and helps partners bond better.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S0005789415001173?casa_token=VU_sAb9U03QAAAAA:TYKBdRZRyPaNVyxyytGs8UEhCvtgU6d1VOHhzPAlLjV4C2_lNyLgnFo79zEy58ddAnAkZ8Oe8l_3\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> has shown that constructive criticism actually leads to higher relationship satisfaction, meaning that partners who give each other positive criticism are actually<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/14-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-strong-healthy-and-happy\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">happier in their relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Furthermore, offering constructive criticism can help people to cope with difficult tasks. If your partner is experiencing stress regarding a situation at work, offering some constructive criticism may just give them the push they need to get through it.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Accepting constructive criticism within a relationship is also healthy. While partners certainly want to have more positive than negative interactions with each other, it is inevitable that there will be disagreements from time to time.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It would be a disadvantage to the relationship for both partners to hold their concerns inside and avoid discussing problems. Constructive criticism offers an opportunity for two people in a relationship, to be honest with each other and work through their differences in a healthy manner.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being able to offer positive criticism to each other builds trust, creates healthy communication, and allows partners to be honest and transparent with each other.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/healthy-communication-for-couples\/\" title=\"Healthy Communication For Couples: Speaking From the Heart\">Healthy Communication For Couples: Speaking From the Heart<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Examples-of-constructive-criticism-in-relationships\"><\/span><b>Examples of constructive criticism in relationships<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&rsquo;s explore real-life constructive criticism examples of how you can approach delicate issues with care while encouraging positive change in your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve noticed that when you come home from work you are often short with me, and this makes me feel like I&rsquo;m a bother to you. I think it would be helpful to our relationship if you would change your approach toward me when you get home.&rdquo;<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;I appreciate that you take the time to plan date nights with me, but when we meet up for dinner, you are often late. Would you be willing to make more of an effort to be on time?&rdquo;<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;It has been bothering me that you leave your dirty clothes lying on the bathroom floor in the evening. It would be helpful to me if you could make an effort to put them in the laundry basket. Is this something that seems reasonable to you?&rdquo;<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-ways-to-give-constructive-criticism-to-your-partner\"><\/span><b>10 ways to give constructive criticism to your partner<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you understand the benefits of constructive criticism, it&rsquo;s time to put what you know into practice. Consider the following ten methods of how to give constructive criticism:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Express what your needs are<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we give hostile criticism, we tend to state what our partner is doing wrong, which doesn&rsquo;t offer a solution. Instead, tell your partner what you need them to be doing differently.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hearing what they are doing wrong, or what their flaws are, can wear on your partner, but if you give specific feedback about what you need, your partner can actually do something with it, rather than sitting and listening to what you dislike about them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Prepare for multiple scenarios<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before you approach your partner regarding your criticism feedback, consider how they might react, thinking of multiple potential reactions. Prepare for how you will respond in each case to avoid having an overly emotional reaction in which you say something hurtful that you do not mean.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Begin on a positive note<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be helpful to begin your constructive criticism in a relationship with a compliment or an acknowledgment of something positive your partner has done, so they will be more receptive to your request for change.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Avoid character attacks<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This may seem obvious, but it is easy to fall into the pattern of attacking your partner&rsquo;s character when you attempt to give criticism. Avoid making statements such as, &ldquo;You&rsquo;re so sloppy!&rdquo; This is a blatant attack and is by no means constructive.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Admit when you are wrong<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one is perfect, and your partner will be more open to your constructive criticism in a relationship if you admit there are areas in which you need to improve, too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you bring a<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/4-common-communication-problems\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">communication problem<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to their attention, for instance, you might indicate that you realize that you also need to work on your communication skills, and explain to them what you will be doing to resolve your role in the problem.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-70188\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/be-willing-to-accept-your-partner.jpg\" alt=\"Head Shot Close Up Upset Abused Offended Woman Sitting on Sofa, Ignoring Her Apologizing Husband\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Be willing to accept your partner<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes when partners have a disagreement and one person offers criticism to the other, there is no right or wrong party. Two people may simply have different viewpoints, so you have to accept that your partner may not agree with your feedback and may not see a need to change.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If this is the case, you may have to let the issue go and choose acceptance.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-deal-with-disagreements-in-a-relationship\/\" title=\"How To Deal With Disagreements In A Relationship\">How To Deal With Disagreements In A Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>7. Be willing to table the issue for later<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may attempt to give constructive criticism but find that your partner becomes defensive. If this is the case, you may have to end the conversation and agree to revisit it later.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Ask for permission to converse<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of assuming your partner is open to your critique, it can be beneficial to ask if they are willing to have a conversation. You might begin by saying, &ldquo;I have noticed something that is bothering me, and I am wondering if you might be open to having a conversation.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can also show respect for your partner by asking if it is a good time to talk, rather than confronting them with constructive criticism at a time that may not be best for them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Be cautious about what you say<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Since it is important to come across as being non-threatening and considerate, you will need to choose your words carefully when giving constructive criticism in relationships. You may want to rehearse what you will say, or consider multiple ways of expressing yourself before deciding upon the best course of action.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/romantic-gestures-how-to-express-yourself\/\" title=\"Romantic Gestures: How to Express Yourself\">Romantic Gestures: How to Express Yourself<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>10. Express vulnerability<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being vulnerable with your partner can soften their defenses and make them more open to listening to what you&rsquo;re saying. Instead of attacking them for being late or for forgetting your anniversary, you may express that you felt fearful or neglected.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you express yourself in this way, your partner understands that you are coming from a place of pain and asking for their help, rather than demonizing them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-ways-to-take-constructive-criticism\"><\/span><b>5 ways to take constructive criticism<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking constructive criticism is also an important part of a relationship. Consider the following strategies for how to handle constructive criticism when it is given to you:<\/span><b>&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Take some time to process what your partner is saying<\/b><\/h3>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When someone offers criticism, even if it is constructive, your initial reaction may be to become defensive.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of reacting, take some time to process what your partner has said, and consider if there is truth to their statement.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>2. Take time to listen<\/b><\/h3>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just as you might become defensive when presented with criticism, it is also possible to react by interrupting your partner or simply waiting for your turn to speak.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of taking this approach, make an effort to truly listen, so your partner will feel heard. Sometimes, people just want validation that their feelings are recognized.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/become-a-better-listener\/\" title=\"4 Tips to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship- Why It Matters\">4 Tips to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship- Why It Matters<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>3. Be open to compromise<\/b><\/h3>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might not agree with everything your partner is saying, and that&rsquo;s entirely acceptable, but even if you aren&rsquo;t on the same page, it can be helpful to compromise.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Perhaps your partner is expressing frustration over the amount of time you spend with friends, and you may not be willing to give up all of all of it, but you can consider planning one date night a month in place of going out with friends, as a way to compromise.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Check out this video to understand the benefits of compromising in a relationship:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/b3ebIebpttk?si=0ea06ul0ioHFtp-Y\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Ask questions<\/b><\/h3>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When your partner offers constructive criticism, you may have questions, and it is okay to ask them! Asking questions can help you to explore the issue further so you understand your partner&rsquo;s point of view.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If they express that they are offended by a behavior, you engage in or a statement you make, ask questions about what they found to be so offensive. This can help you to get to the root of the problem.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>5. Be willing to make improvements<\/b><\/h3>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your partner offers constructive criticism and you realize there is some truth to what they are saying, make an effort to change your behavior.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can sometimes be difficult to swallow your pride and admit to your own imperfections, but when doing so benefits the relationship, both parties win.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember, true constructive criticism is meant to offer you feedback so that you can make positive changes, so as hard as it may be to admit to your faults, accepting the feedback and taking action benefits you as well.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Being-constructive-about-it\"><\/span><b>Being constructive about it<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People may be fearful of constructive criticism in relationships, but two people will disagree from time to time. Using hostile criticism and attacking each other is not healthy for the relationship, but neither is holding in feelings until they cause resentment to build.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By being considerate and non-threatening and expressing specific behaviors that have created a concern for you, you can offer your partner constructive criticism so the relationship can grow. The only caveat is that you, too, must be willing to accept positive criticism from your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man&rsquo;s growth without destroying his roots. &ndash; Frank A. Clark Picture this: your partner points out something about you, but instead of feeling supported, you feel attacked.&nbsp; Does criticism always have to sting, or can it be a tool for growth?&nbsp; We&rsquo;ve all been there&mdash;wondering what is constructive criticism in a relationship and how to give constructive criticism in a relationship without causing unnecessary tension. Can feedback be shared in a way that helps, rather than hurts? And how do you offer it without your partner feeling like they&rsquo;re under <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1262,"featured_media":70186,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[2516],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70182"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1262"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70182"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70182\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":105508,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70182\/revisions\/105508"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/70186"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70182"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70182"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70182"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}