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Romantic relationships and marriages come with their fair share of obstacles and conflicts. However, if you’re at a point in your relationship where your trust has been broken by your significant other, this article may help you.<\/span><\/p>\n To heal effectively from having your trust broken by your partner, it is very imperative to understand the true meaning of betrayal trauma. So, what is betrayal trauma?<\/span><\/p>\n Trauma arising from your trust in someone close to you, such as your partner, getting broken is betrayal trauma.<\/span><\/p>\n Imagine getting punched in your gut. Think about the dull pain and discomfort that lingers long after the sharp pain from the punch has subsided. Betrayal trauma can kind of feel like that.<\/span><\/p>\n Being betrayed by someone you love can feel absolutely devastating. It may become extremely tough for the one whose trust has been broken to trust their beloved ever again.<\/span><\/p>\n Such an event of one’s trust getting broken might be due to events like <\/span>gaslighting<\/span><\/a>, suddenly discovering hidden addictions (such as drugs, gambling, porn, etc.), infidelity, lying, and so on.<\/span><\/p>\n To understand how to get over betrayal in a relationship, and heal from the same, it may be helpful to learn about<\/span> betrayal trauma theory<\/span><\/a>.<\/span> The concept of this type of trauma was proposed in 1991, by psychologist Jennifer Freyd.<\/span><\/p>\n According to Freyd, betrayal trauma is a particular type of trauma that one may experience in primary social relationships (romantic relationship, marriage, parent-child relationship). In this type of trauma, the one who has been betrayed may need to still be in the relationship for protection and\/or support.<\/span><\/p>\n As mentioned earlier, a marriage or a romantic relationship between two people is a type of <\/span>attachment relationship<\/span><\/a>. According to the theory of this trauma, betrayal in the form of cheating, financial betrayal, gaslighting, hidden addictions, and so on, can have lasting consequences on the recipient of betrayal.<\/span><\/p>\n Why are there lasting consequences? This is because when an individual is betrayed by someone, their first instinct is to distance themselves from the betrayer. But this becomes complicated when the betrayer is a person the victim is dependent on for protection, support, and safety.<\/span><\/p>\n If you are dependent on your partner socially and financially, and you have been betrayed, you might feel scared to address the betrayal. So, you may resort to burying this trauma. This can lead to post betrayal syndrome.<\/span><\/p>\n Before learning about the symptoms of this trauma, it’s best to first understand some common examples of betrayal trauma in romantic relationships. They have been listed as follows:<\/span><\/p>\n You may suddenly discover that your partner is addicted to a particular drug or drug use in general. You may find out that your boyfriend or girlfriend may be addicted to consuming pornography content.<\/span><\/p>\n This discovery might put you in shock and your <\/span>relationship in a crisis<\/span><\/a>. You may feel confused about what to do and how to navigate your way through this situation.<\/span><\/p>\n According to <\/span>Grady Shumway<\/span><\/a>, LMHC:<\/span><\/p>\n Taking time to pause and gather accurate information can help you respond rather than react. Reaching out for professional guidance or support can also provide clarity and help you decide the safest next steps for both you and the relationship.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Another common form of this trauma is if you’re a victim of gaslighting. The manipulation and deceit from your partner to clear his\/her\/their role in the betrayal incident might confuse you deeply. <\/span><\/p>\n Other effects may be poor self-esteem, loss of identity and self-concept, loss of your ability to identify and trust your instincts.<\/span><\/p>\n You might experience feelings of shame, guilt, and\/or confusion if you discover that your <\/span>partner has been cheating on you<\/span><\/a>. Therefore, you might have a hard time admitting it or acknowledging this event. You might hesitate to share this information with your loved ones because of societal and cultural norms.<\/span><\/p>\n Now that you know about the different examples or manifestations of the trauma let’s take a look at the symptoms of betrayal trauma or the psychological effects of betrayal. <\/span><\/p>\n The symptoms have been listed as follows:<\/span><\/p>\n Any kind of trauma, including betrayal trauma, can considerably affect the body and brain. Sometimes we may be able to deceive our mind and evade the mental pain of betrayal, but the body can remember it. <\/span><\/p>\n This becomes evident when we face physical issues such as chronic fatigue, gastrointestinal problems, sleep disorders, headaches, a weakened immune system, and so on.<\/span><\/p>\n You must have heard about the term “mental fog.” <\/span><\/p>\n Although there can be numerous reasons for this fog, it can be one of the common side effects of trauma associated with betrayal. The sufferer is unable to have a clear understanding of feelings and emotions. This lack of clarity may, in turn, lead to generalized anxiety and depression.<\/span><\/p>\n This is what we commonly call ‘mood swings.’ A lot of negative emotions come with betrayal, and often, two or more of these emotions manifest themselves together. One moment everything is fine, and the next moment you find yourself in tears. <\/span><\/p>\n And then again, you are extremely annoyed or irritated about everything on earth. People may say you are ‘crazy’, but actually, your mind is reacting to betrayal.<\/span><\/p>\n Trauma is painful, and it may cause you to withdraw even from relationships that matter. You might lack the energy to communicate with anyone and hence move away from friends or near and dear ones. <\/span><\/p>\n A kind of worry and fear also operates in mind, leading to suspicion about small matters. All these, in turn, lead to decreased self-esteem. <\/span><\/p>\n A very important thing you need to remember is that the aforementioned symptoms are just the most common symptoms of the trauma. Every individual is different. Therefore, the symptoms people show will vary.<\/span><\/p>\n Keeping this in mind, self-diagnosis is not going to be accurate. Other types of trauma may produce symptoms similar to this trauma.<\/span><\/p>\n When you’re dealing with difficult questions such as “Why do people betray,” it’s best to be thorough in your evaluation. You may even ask yourself the following questions to get more clarity:<\/span><\/p>\n A big part of learning about how to get over trauma is asking yourself these aforementioned questions. Don’t just ask yourself these questions. Remember to take the symptoms and examples of betrayal trauma<\/span> into consideration.<\/span><\/p>\n Here’s a take on the syndrome from an expert:<\/span>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>How to Get Over Betrayal in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>The theoretical basis of betrayal trauma<\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\n<\/span>Examples of betrayal trauma<\/span><\/h2>\n
Sudden discovery<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Gaslighting<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>How to Deal With Gaslighting in Relationships in 15 Ways<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
Infidelity<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
<\/span>Signs & symptoms of betrayal trauma<\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\nA. Physical symptoms<\/b><\/h3>\n
B. Mental dissociation<\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>How to Heal From Relationship Trauma<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
C. Shifting of emotions<\/b><\/h3>\n
D. Withdrawal mode<\/b><\/h3>\n