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Unrequited love<\/span><\/a>, also understood as someone loving a person more than the person who loves them, is a situation that many people find themselves in at some point in their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n Your romantic interest may love you more than you know. However, when you sense you are loving someone more than they love you, it feels very emotionally challenging.<\/span><\/p>\n You may ask questions like, “Why does it hurt to love someone?” or wonder how to explain how much you love someone; how to tell someone you love them more than anything.<\/span><\/p>\n It is definitely a challenge when what we have is much more than they can see or when you love someone more than yourself privately.<\/span><\/p>\n Below, we explore what to do when you love someone more than they love you, when you love someone so much and why it hurts to love someone sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n Loving someone more than they love you is a taboo phenomenon, but it does happen.<\/span><\/p>\n When you love someone so much, sometimes what we have is more than they can see. Often we fall in love and hope that the way we feel will be reciprocated.<\/span><\/p>\n However, sometimes our readiness for the different <\/span>stages of a relationship<\/span><\/a> doesn’t match.<\/span><\/p>\n We may also have different <\/span>attachment styles<\/span><\/a> and <\/span>love languages<\/span><\/a>, and these both influence us in feeling that in our relationships, what we have is much more than they can see when you love someone so much.<\/span><\/p>\n Naturally, these differences can provoke feelings of loving someone more than they love you.<\/span><\/p>\n How much you love someone is not always easy to quantify by ourselves. In some scenarios, your partner could love you more than you know. In other situations, it could be that you don’t know how to explain how much you love someone.<\/span><\/p>\n However, for the first time in history, we have fMRI – a technology developed by Neuroscientist, <\/span><\/p>\n Melina Uncapher<\/span><\/a> shows the neurochemical process of love as it moves through the brain.<\/span><\/p>\n The idea that love can be measured by technology may seem unromantic.<\/span><\/p>\n However, the results in the love competition inspired by Melina’s work and filmed by Brent Hoff in association with Stanford university are undeniable. How much you love someone can be measured, and it is definitely possible to be in the position of loving someone more than they love you.<\/span><\/p>\n For some people, just being with someone they love is enough, and they don’t deeply contemplate the concept of loving someone more than they love you.<\/span><\/p>\n Some people love someone so much and know they love their partner more but hope that they can change their partner’s feelings over time. Others may even enjoy the feeling of ‘I love you more than everything’ and think when you love someone more than yourself that this is devotional and romantic. These people may not pay much attention to imbalances in the way love is expressed.<\/span><\/p>\n However, if you notice imbalances, the challenge of loving someone more than they love you is being honest if you tolerate living long term, knowing that what we have is much more than they can see.<\/span><\/p>\n Can you accept this imbalance when you love someone so much?<\/span><\/p>\n Aren’t you supposed to receive the same amount of love back when you love someone so much?<\/span><\/p>\n When you love someone so much, it can be challenging knowing whether it’s okay to stay around them. You may feel hurt at times and wonder why it hurts to love someone.<\/span><\/p>\n If loving someone is detrimental to your <\/span>self-care<\/span><\/a> and wellbeing, it is not okay, and hoping to change someone’s behavior or that it will change itself over time when you love someone so much may lead to frustration, disappointment, hurt, and <\/span>anger<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n All your feelings concerned with how much you love someone are caused by chemical dopamine and oxytocin reactions that take place in your body.<\/span><\/p>\n You may also start to feel symptoms of lovesickness. Many of these symptoms could have serious health consequences in the longer term.<\/span><\/p>\n Loving someone more than they love you might feel okay if love languages are aligned and if both partners consciously practice interdependence.<\/span><\/p>\n Interdependence<\/span><\/a> is when both partners value the importance of the emotional bond they share, understanding love imbalances but maintain their own sense of self within the relationship and do not rely on it for their sense of self or wellbeing.<\/span><\/p>\n However, if loving someone more than they love you is damaging your self-confidence, physical body and limiting your ability to be yourself, then it is not okay.<\/span><\/p>\n Why it hurts to love someone is simply because we all deeply want to be loved, love<\/span> and the need to attach to the main attachment figure is one of our fundamental needs.<\/span><\/p>\n Studies<\/span><\/a> show that neuroimaging studies have also shown that brain regions involved in processing physical pain overlap considerably with social pain. The connection is so strong that traditional painkillers seem capable of soothing our emotional wounds.<\/span><\/p>\n However, the social pain from when you love someone so much may be worse in the long run.<\/span><\/p>\n This helps us understand why it hurts to love someone.<\/span><\/p>\n At the moment, a punch in the face might feel just as bad as a relationship breakdown when you love someone so much, but with a punch, the physical aching goes away.<\/span><\/p>\n Alternatively, the memory of lost love and struggles around how to tell someone you love them more than anything can linger forever.<\/span><\/p>\n Research<\/span><\/a> confirms that social pain is easily re-lived, whereas physical pain is not.<\/span><\/p>\n The main reasons why it hurts to love someone and you stay in situations where you love them more than they love you is: fear.<\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes when you love someone so much, even if you are not being treated in a way that feels like what you have is more than they can see, you may stay because you fear. If this doesn’t work out, maybe nothing will.<\/span><\/p>\n We accept the love we think we deserve based on our level of <\/span>self-esteem<\/span><\/a>. Your reactions to how much you love someone is also rooted in the way we learned to behave and interpret how to explain how much you love someone as children.<\/span><\/p>\n We tend to respond to loving people based on the templates we learned in childhood.<\/span><\/p>\n You may stay with partners, where what we have is much more than they can see if, as a child, your primary example templates were unbalanced love scenarios. For example, you may have witness examples that demonstrate not receiving more love back and no explanation if or why it hurts to love and whether that is okay or not.<\/span><\/p>\n Check out what happens when you are loving someone more than they love you:<\/span><\/p>\n You may notice that the person you love makes many plans but most of them don’t involve you.<\/span><\/p>\n In addition, some of these plans may have the potential to negatively impact or change your relationship. If your partner only wants to see you when it suits them then there is likely inequity in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n You may feel an overarching feeling of being the only one invested in the future of the relationship or spending time together. This can make you <\/span>feel alone within the relationship<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n Relationship guru Matthew Hussey explains how feeling lonely is something many of us can feel when we love someone so much, himself included.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<\/span>Can you love your partner more than they love you?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>10 Reasons Why It's Wrong to Love Someone Too Much<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>Is it okay to love someone more than they love you?<\/span><\/h2>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>How Do You Know If You Love Someone<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>Why sometimes it hurts when you love someone so much?<\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\n<\/span>Why do we stay with partners who love us less than we love them?<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>10 Things you may experience when you love someone more than they love you<\/span><\/h2>\n
1. Decisions without communication<\/b><\/h3>\n
2. Feeling alone<\/b><\/h3>\n