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If you’re struggling with <\/span>relationship issues<\/span><\/a> that just aren’t getting better, perhaps you are considering therapy. In some cases, couples may agree to go to therapy together, but sometimes it isn’t so simple.<\/span><\/p>\n Your partner may be fearful of going to therapy, causing them to become defensive when you suggest that the two of you see a therapist.<\/span><\/p>\n You may even simply question, “Do we need marriage counseling?” which can upset your partner if they are opposed to going to counseling or perceive the question as a personal attack.<\/span><\/p>\n If you recognize a need for outside intervention but your partner doesn’t agree, there is probably added tension in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n Forcing them to go to counseling probably won’t work, but there are strategies you can use to convince them that therapy is a good option. Below, learn about how to convince someone to go to therapy, so you can work together to get your relationship back on track.<\/span><\/p>\n When you don’t want to go to therapy, it can be challenging to make any progress at all, even if you do finally set foot in a therapist’s office. So, forcing your spouse into therapy probably isn’t the best option.<\/span><\/p>\n Even if your spouse clearly needs therapy, they may be in denial and express resistance to your suggestion. To make things easier, there are some tips for how to convince someone to see a therapist. Consider the strategies below:<\/span><\/p>\n If your husband refuses counseling, a personal attack isn’t going to make him want to reconsider. Instead of attacking his character, focus on the behavior you’d like to see change.<\/span><\/p>\n For instance, instead of saying, “You’re always so angry!” make a statement like, “When you have a temper, I feel too overwhelmed to talk with you.”<\/span><\/p>\n When you mention specific behaviors you’d like to see change, your partner will not feel that you are labeling them as the problem, which can make them more open to seeking the <\/span>advice of a therapist<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n Your partner will likely be more open to your suggestions if you lead by example. If going to a therapist just isn’t in their plans right now, you can begin to put effort into your own wellbeing.<\/span><\/p>\n Practice <\/span>self-care<\/span><\/a>, begin a new exercise routine or consider going to therapy yourself. When your partner sees positive changes in you, they may be more open to change themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n It is easy to go into therapy with the mindset that your partner is to<\/span> blame for everything that’s wrong in the relationship<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n Some people enter marriage counseling with the belief that the therapist will simply “fix” their partner. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. When there are serious issues in a relationship or marriage, the reality is that both spouses have contributed in some way.<\/span><\/p>\n Avoid <\/span>blaming your partner<\/span><\/a> for all that is going wrong and instead tell them that you’d like to go to counseling because you want to resolve your differences together, regardless of who is to blame.<\/span><\/p>\n If issues in the relationship are because your partner is withdrawing from you, perhaps something deeper is going on, such as anxiety or depression. If this is the case, try expressing concern for their wellbeing by pointing out specific behaviors.<\/span><\/p>\n For instance, you might say, “I have noticed you aren’t going to the gym anymore, and I am concerned, because that used to be so important to you” or, “Recently, you’ve been spending most of the day sleeping, and I’m really worried.” <\/span><\/p>\n Making general comments like, “You need to go to counseling,” or “Counseling will help our relationship” probably won’t be helpful if you want to convince someone to see a therapist. Instead, state specific concerns that lead you to believe your spouse needs therapy.<\/span><\/p>\n You might say, “I feel that we have lost our <\/span>emotional connection<\/span><\/a>, and we need help getting it back.” If you are clear about your motives for wanting to seek counseling, you may eliminate any fears or anxieties your partner has about the situation.<\/span><\/p>\n There are several reasons someone may be opposed to going to a therapist.<\/span><\/p>\n For instance, your spouse may be worried they will be blamed for all the problems in the relationship, or they may be fearful that they will be judged if they share their problems with someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n Take time to <\/span>truly listen to your partner’s concerns<\/span><\/a> about going to therapy, and validate that you understand why they feel that way. Knowing that you see things from their perspective may help your spouse to overcome any fears they have about going to counseling.<\/span><\/p>\n Remember, there is no benefit to pointing fingers and assigning blame for problems in the marriage, so when you sit down to discuss your concerns with your partner, it is helpful to be clear that you’d like the marriage to improve for the benefit of both of you.<\/span><\/p>\nAlso Try: <\/i>Do We Need Marriage Counseling Quiz<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n
10 ways to convince your spouse to go to therapy<\/b><\/h2>\n
Focus on the behavior that needs to change, rather than attacking their character<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Start working on yourself<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Don’t blame your partner for everything that goes wrong in the relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
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<\/p>\nTry expressing concern for them<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Communicate clearly about your reasoning<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Related Reading: <\/i>16 Principles for Effective Communication in Marriage<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n
Listen to your partner’s concerns<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Related Reading: <\/i>4 Tips to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship<\/i><\/a><\/strong><\/pre>\n
Express that you’d like the marriage to get better<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
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