

{"id":68459,"date":"2021-08-02T12:46:35","date_gmt":"2021-08-02T12:46:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=68459"},"modified":"2025-06-24T12:24:08","modified_gmt":"2025-06-24T12:24:08","slug":"long-distance-relationship-fights","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/long-distance-relationship-fights\/","title":{"rendered":"15 Tips to Handle Long Distance Relationship Fights &#038; Arguments"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-68509\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/tips-to-handle-long-distance-relationship-fights-arguments.jpg\" alt=\"Men Talking Over Phone\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most of us cannot choose when, where, how, and with whom we <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/fall-in-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">fall in love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. And we often surprise ourselves!&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, you might find yourself falling in love with someone older or younger than you expected. Or, you are surprised that you actually met someone who sat next to you on a plane&mdash;and who turned out to be a wise match for you!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All relationships have unique challenges, and one of the more challenging relationship situations is one that is long distance. Yet, for some couples, long-distance suits their emotional and career needs well.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For instance, for couples where each person has to travel frequently for work and when living together is geographically not possible, a long-distance relationship is their only way of being a couple.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/challenges-of-long-distance-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Long Distance Relationship Problems and What to Do About Them<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2>Reasons for long-distance relationship fights<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the thorniest issues for long-distance relationships is dealing with fights and arguments. All couples have <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-deal-with-disagreements-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">disagreements<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but LDR couples<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> often tend <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">to have more grave long-distance relationship problems.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why is that? They have to deal with these key issues:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not being able to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-you-should-hold-hands-when-you-fight\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hold hands while discussing difficult topics<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not being able to &ldquo;Kiss and Make Up&rdquo; in a timely way<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not being able to read each other&rsquo;s body language fully and accurately<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not having enough or the right time at the moment to talk things out.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To make matters worse, some topics are more difficult to handle in a long-distance relationship because you have different work hours, live in different time zones, can&rsquo;t handle time-sensitive issues that work for both of you, and don&rsquo;t have all the documents, mail, and other papers that you need.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These hot-button topics include:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Disputing bills for incorrect charges on your credit cards<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not wanting or able to book the next flight or train route to see each other<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not being able to plan or attend important family and friends events together<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not agreeing on how you want to spend your precious time together<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not having enough or a good time to deal with one of you being ill or needing advice.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-avoid-long-distance-relationship-drama\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ways to Avoid Long-Distance Relationship Drama<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2>15 Tips for handling long-distance relationship fights<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what can you do to be happier together? How can you handle long-distance relationship fights?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some tested tips to get through a long-distance relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may not need all of these ideas, and you will also probably need to adapt them to your unique situation. With these tips on long-distance relationship fights, over time, you will become good problem-solvers and partners!<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Know what to discuss<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/mVVsTwGcMbI?si=weaGtuys9_Vn8nLn\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div class=\"subscribeYT_highlight\"><div class=\"subscribe_channel\">\r\n            <div class=\"subscribe_text\">Join millions <span class=\"sub_text1\">building healthier, happier<\/span> <span class=\"sub_text2\"> relationships.<\/span><\/div>\r\n            <a class=\"subscribe-btn-in-content\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@Marriagedotcom?sub_confirmation=1\" target=\"_blank\">\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/youtube_icon_small.png\" class=\"icon-left\" alt=\"YouTube\">\r\n            <span>Subscribe<\/span>\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/bell_icon_new.svg\" class=\"icon-right\" alt=\"Extra Icon\">\r\n            <\/a>\r\n        <\/div><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to handle arguments in a relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To start with, make a list in order of importance of the things you need to discuss in person.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are so many things that might not come to mind when you meet each other in person. It is better to keep a list handy lest you forget important things in the excitement of meeting after a long time.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Hold hands<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-68510\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/hold-hands.jpg\" alt=\"Couple Holding Hands\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Especially when you are together and are having disagreements, always hold each other&rsquo;s hands or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/types-of-hugs\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hug each other<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. You both would be meeting after a long time. There shouldn&rsquo;t be any room for arguments.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-of-holding-hands\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ways of Holding Hands Reveal a Lot About Your Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>3. Get solution-oriented<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">NO complaining without first offering a solution!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Arguments are never-ending. And fighting in long-distance relationships can get more troublesome because you both are not around each other.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, instead of focusing on the problem and playing the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindful.org\/why-playing-the-blame-game-in-your-relationship-doesnt-work\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">blame game<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, handle long-distance relationship fights by looking for a solution.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Listen<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the relationship argument tips is to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/listening-skills-why-are-they-so-important-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">listen to your partner<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> without any interruptions. Communication does not only mean talking and expressing your side of the story. It also means practicing the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/322722211_The_Power_of_Listening_Lending_an_Ear_to_the_Partner_During_Dyadic_Coping_Conversations\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">art of listening<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, listen, comprehend and empathize.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/importance-of-art-of-listening-in-a-relationship\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Importance of Art of Listening in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>5. Disagreement Technique<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of accusing or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/why-blaming-your-partner-wont-help\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">blaming your partner<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> when you are trying to solve a problem, practice this Disagreement Technique to solve long-distance relationship fights instead of explaining or arguing your points in a disagreement.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/how-to-share-your-feelings-with-your-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talk about your feelings<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and issues as though you were your partner. Speak in the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/core.ac.uk\/download\/pdf\/77519818.pdf\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">first person<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> by using the word &ldquo;I.&rdquo;&nbsp; This Technique will feel awkward at first, but you will gain a better understanding of your partner&mdash;and a better solution.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/using-i-statements-in-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Using \"I\" Statements in Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>6. Write love texts<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-68511\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/write-love-texts.jpg\" alt=\"Women Texting Over Phone With Blue Studio Background\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t let a day go by without sending love texts or one of those special photos to your partner. Your note can be brief.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, you can write things such as:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I know you will do well on your presentation!<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I miss you and think of you first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I love being with you. And when you get stressed, just think of that special time we just had together!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here is a picture of me in my new outfit (or the one you bought for me.)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some of the special things I love about you!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This can also help in reminding you how lucky you are to be together.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Get proactive<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t let things fester. Do some soul-searching of why you and your partner acted that way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Agree that when you are together, you will discuss key issues.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If possible, discuss them when you are at your favorite caf&eacute; or park or any other places that are important to you. Talking at one of the places you live may not offer the safeguard of being at your best.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Choose the right time to discuss problems<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For all long-distance relationship fights, don&rsquo;t attempt to settle hot topics when one of you is tired, had a tough day, or still have work to do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/constant-fighting-in-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">fighting a lot in a relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, be prudent enough to call or text your partner and discuss the problem when you are both feeling calm and peaceful.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Keep a journal<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Journaling is a great way to help you reflect on yourself and your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Include any or all of the following:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why did I act the ineffective or highly emotionally charged way I did?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why do I think my partner handled the situation in the way they did?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What do I suggest as a better way?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Send a problem and solution chart<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Forge a solution together quickly&mdash;instead of having marathon disagreements.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Make a chart of the most pressing issues you need to discuss. Write out your ideas, reasons, and solutions. Explain them without getting angry or accusing your partner.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of fighting over text, you can choose to talk it out or send your partner your idea.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>11.&nbsp; Develop empathy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Forgive yourself and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/forgiveness\/how-to-forgive-your-partner-who-has-hurt-you\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">your partner for missteps<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you have an issue to discuss, think about how your partner would respond. What &ldquo;buttons&rdquo; might get pushed in your partner?.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Handle long-distance relationship fights by creating a plan as to how you will address these &ldquo;buttons&rdquo; with kindness and understanding.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-build-empathy-in-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Build Empathy in Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/15SKHqpOhZ8\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Check out this video by Mary Jo Rapini on how you can empower your partner by showing empathy:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<h3><b>12. Keep important information handy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Make sure you have each other&rsquo;s important information, such as social security numbers, shared bank accounts, and phone numbers of best friends, children, family, boss and coworkers, attorneys, physicians, and any other contacts.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The last thing you want to do is face a situation where you don&rsquo;t know what to do.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>13. Avoid disagreements<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having disagreements is healthy, but too much of it only signifies that the relationship can turn toxic. However, this can be controlled simply by discussing issues calmly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Important tip: Don&rsquo;t start your time together with a disagreement, and don&rsquo;t end a conversation with a disagreement.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/couples-settling-disagreements\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Steps Couples Should Take Toward Settling Disagreements<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>14. Spend together-time<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-68512\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/spend-together-time.jpg\" alt=\"Men and Women Doing Romance Together\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are so many apps and websites that can give you an experience of playing real-time movies or songs together, just like you would have if you both were together in person.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you spend quality time together, you can shoo away many long-distance relationship fights. So, watch the latest releases or classic hits &ldquo;together&rdquo; when you are apart with ease.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-have-a-quality-time-with-your-partner\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ways to Have a Quality Time With Your Partner<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>15. Celebrate important events<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Create &ldquo;family time&rdquo; together when you are together and apart. For example, you could do a zoom call to celebrate something with each other&rsquo;s families. The fact that you both are apart should not be the reason for having a drab celebration.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This will only pile up and ensue fights.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/mistakes-many-long-distance-couple-make\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mistakes Many Long Distance Couple Make<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>Takeaway<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is it normal to fight everyday long-distance in a relationship? There could be days when your long-distance relationship fights will be more severe than the other days. However, if it has been happening throughout your relationship, this needs to be corrected.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember that misunderstandings, disagreements, and mistakes occur in all couples. So, remember to follow the aforementioned tips for long-distance relationship fights.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most of us cannot choose when, where, how, and with whom we fall in love. And we often surprise ourselves!&nbsp; For example, you might find yourself falling in love with someone older or younger than you expected. Or, you are surprised that you actually met someone who sat next to you on a plane&mdash;and who turned out to be a wise match for you! All relationships have unique challenges, and one of the more challenging relationship situations is one that is long distance. Yet, for some couples, long-distance suits their emotional and career needs well.&nbsp; For instance, for couples where <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":597,"featured_media":68509,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2607],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68459"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/597"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=68459"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68459\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":109868,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68459\/revisions\/109868"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/68509"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=68459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=68459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=68459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}