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Attachment styles refer to the patterns that people show when bonding with others, such as caretakers and significant others. While a secure, healthy attachment is ideal, attachment problems in adults can lead to a disorganized attachment style in relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n Here, learn the answer to “What is a disorganized attachment style?” as well as information regarding causes and signs of a disorganized personality.<\/span><\/p>\n While attachment problems in adults can spill over into relationships with significant others, the reality is that it begins in childhood because of parenting that did not provide a child with a <\/span>sense of security<\/span><\/a> and safety.<\/span><\/p>\n When the effects of childhood lead to a disorganized attachment style in adult relationships, a person may have fear and <\/span>anxiety within their relationships<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n On the one hand, they want to connect with other people, but on the other hand, they want to ensure their own survival, so they may push others away or become distant in close relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes, such people may appear rather unpredictable because they do not have a consistent style of connecting with others.<\/span><\/p>\n Most attachment styles involve consistent behavior patterns, meaning that a person who demonstrates a particular attachment style will have predictable behaviors. On the contrary, the disorganized personality style has a most erratic method of connecting with others.<\/span><\/p>\n It is thought to occur because of inadequate or harmful parenting during childhood, which eventually leads to adult attachment problems because a person comes to feel that they cannot rely upon their attachment figures to meet their needs.<\/span><\/p>\n According to a <\/span>study<\/span><\/a> in the<\/span> Universal Journal of Educational Research study, childhood trauma is associated with adult attachment problems. Specific types of trauma that were linked to fearful attachment styles, like a disorganized personality type, were:<\/span><\/p>\n It arises from a place of fear surrounding trauma like abuse or neglect. Children rely entirely upon their caretakers to meet their needs, and the caretaker is expected to be a safe person for the child.<\/span><\/p>\n When the person who is supposed to look out for the child ends up being abusive, the child begins to feel that relationships are not safe. It arises from the lack of safety a child feels, and it can continue into adulthood.<\/span><\/p>\n Unfortunately, disorganized attachment theory states that the attachment style developed in childhood follows people into adulthood and can affect their relationships. Neuroscience research supports this argument.<\/span><\/p>\n In fact, a 2016 <\/span>study<\/span><\/a> in Behavioural Brain Research followed people for many years and found that those who had disorganized attachment behaviors at 18 months of age had larger volumes in the <\/span>amygdala<\/span><\/a>, an area of the brain that processes fear and emotion, during adulthood.<\/span><\/p>\n This finding highlights just how significant childhood experiences can be, especially for those who go on to develop adult attachment problems.<\/span><\/p>\n Since childhood attachment behaviors are linked to adult functioning, adults with the disorganized personality type may demonstrate the following signs in their relationships:<\/span><\/p>\n It is not unusual for someone with the problem to be trusting of their partner at one point and suddenly switch to being paranoid, angry, and distrustful at the slightest sign of trouble.<\/span><\/p>\n For instance, if the partner is busy with work and misses a phone call, the person with the disorganized attachment pattern may question their partner and accuse the partner of being unfaithful or purposely avoiding the call.<\/span><\/p>\n The reason this happens is that someone who experienced disorganized attachment in early childhood has learned to be especially vigilant of any signs of <\/span>abandonment<\/span><\/a> or danger since they could not trust adults to meet their needs.<\/span><\/p>\n An adult with the disorganized personality type may seem like they do not enjoy their relationships because they are constantly fearful of being hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n They may lash out at a partner any time they fear they are about to be hurt because they have come to believe that it is inevitable that they will be let down or rejected by significant people in their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n Because of their fear of being hurt, someone with a disorganized personality may be <\/span>extremely clingy<\/span><\/a> one moment to keep their partner close, but then become distant the next moment because they are fearful of intimacy and worry that if they become too attached, their partner could hurt them.<\/span><\/p>\n Since someone with such patterns does not have a consistent pattern of connecting with others, they may confuse their partner at times by displaying “hot and cold” behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n They may behave in a hateful manner toward their partner one minute and then the next minute begs their partner not to leave them.<\/span><\/p>\n Remember that the amygdala is responsible for processing fear, and when someone has this problem, they are likely to have an enlarged amygdala.<\/span><\/p>\n This means that they may be overly emotionally reactive and have a hard time regulating their emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n When there are attachment problems in adults, especially a disorganized personality, people may <\/span>sabotage their own relationships<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n The adult will believe that a relationship will fail anyway, so they begin to act in ways that can push their partner away, leading to the <\/span>end of the relationship<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n Check out this video where Raquel Peel discusses how certain behaviors can sabotage the relationship:<\/b>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>How Attachment Styles Affect Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>What is a disorganized attachment style in relationships?<\/span><\/h2>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> Insecure Attachment Style: Types, Causes & Ways to Overcome<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>What causes disorganized attachment?<\/span><\/h2>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>Avoidant Attachment Style - Definition, Types & Treatment<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>10 Signs of a disorganized attachment style within a relationship<\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\n1. Fluctuating between being affectionate and trusting and being overly paranoid of their partner<\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>How to Stop Being Paranoid in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
2. They seem fearful<\/b><\/h3>\n
3. Being clingy one moment and distant the next<\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>How to Stop Being Needy in a Relationship?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
4. Demonstrating confusing behavior within a relationship <\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>Things to Do if You Are Confused in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
5. Difficulty regulating emotions<\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>How to Regulate Your Emotions From Destroying Your Marriage<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
6. Sabotaging relationships<\/b><\/h3>\n