

{"id":67885,"date":"2021-07-14T13:23:01","date_gmt":"2021-07-14T13:23:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=67885"},"modified":"2024-10-16T05:52:29","modified_gmt":"2024-10-16T05:52:29","slug":"how-to-have-a-healthy-relationship-after-emotional-abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-have-a-healthy-relationship-after-emotional-abuse\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Have a Healthy Relationship After Emotional Abuse"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-67888\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/how-to-have-a-healthy-relationship-after-emotional-abuse.jpg\" alt=\"Sweet in Love Couple Dreaming of Their Future\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/dos-and-donts-of-new-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Starting a new relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> after an abusive one can be extremely difficult. Living with an abusive partner in constant fear and anxiety may have made you skeptical about love. Now you may have no idea how to have a healthy relationship after emotional abuse.&nbsp; &nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might keep wondering if you can find happiness again and if it&rsquo;s possible to love after being abused like that. Starting dating after an abusive relationship may seem like a daunting idea to you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Although it may seem impossible to love after being emotionally abused, you can still have a normal relationship and a regular life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having the right support system, taking things slow, making self-care a priority, and being open to love will lead you to the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-is-the-definition-of-a-healthy-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">healthy relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> you&rsquo;ve always wanted. The chaos in your mind will dissipate, and you&rsquo;ll regain your sanity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before we begin discussing the ways to have healthy relationships after emotional abuse, let&rsquo;s look at the effects of abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/what-is-emotional-abuse\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is Emotional Abuse?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-does-emotional-abuse-affect-someone\"><\/span>How does emotional abuse affect someone?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/pBKW50ggtUk?si=9t64YYjU1nIp6WTe\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.urmc.rochester.edu\/encyclopedia\/content.aspx?contenttypeid=1&amp;contentid=2990\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional abuse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is a pattern of behavior intended to make someone feel bad about themselves. It gives the abuser a chance to criticize and embarrass the victim to the point that they lose their sense of self. It allows the abuser to control and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/recognize-and-handle-manipulation-in-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">manipulate the victim<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional abuse can take many forms, such as&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yelling&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insulting&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Calling names&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Withholding affection&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Threatening to abandon the victim<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Giving <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/silent-treatment-in-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">silent treatment<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/how-to-deal-with-gaslighting\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gaslighting<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Isolating the victim from their support system<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Invalidating victim&rsquo;s feelings<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Blaming and shaming<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Guilt-tripping<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Abusers may not show any of these behaviors at the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relationship-advice-for-couples-who-are-just-starting\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">beginning of the relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. As the relationship gets serious, the abuses start subtly. Effects of severe emotional abuse are no less damaging than physical abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional abuse can cause changes and long-term damage to the victim&rsquo;s brain and body.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional and psychological trauma can lead to posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Since the abusers strip the victim of their support system and doubt themselves, it becomes difficult for them to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/when-to-leave-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">leave the relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Abuse victims develop depression, anxiety, and many other mental disorders. It attacks the victim&rsquo;s self-esteem and confidence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They start to believe what the abuser says about them, lose their self-worth, and end up staying in the relationship out of fear. Emotional abuse also increases the risk of developing chronic physical illnesses like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/signs-of-emotional-abuse\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Identify and Respond to Emotional and Mental Abuse<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-you-love-again-after-being-emotionally-abused\"><\/span>Can you love again after being emotionally abused?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>The short answer is: Yes, you most certainly can<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It&rsquo;s normal for you to feel scared about <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/7-important-tips-to-build-trust-in-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">putting your trust in someone<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> again since you&rsquo;ve developed trust issues and might be suffering from PTSD.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To love again, you first need to acknowledge the abuse and be willing to work through your trauma. Remember that you&rsquo;re worthy of being loved, and there&rsquo;s nothing wrong with you. You are not to be blamed for your abuser&rsquo;s actions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might struggle to form meaningful relationships initially and keep wondering how to have a healthy relationship after emotional abuse. But don&rsquo;t give up on love. Learn to identify your needs and, this time, stand up for yourself if your partner turns out to be abusive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, don&rsquo;t expect your new partner to fix you. While they can surely help you speed up the recovery process, you have to do the inner work yourself. Victims often fall for somebody with similar personality traits and behaviors because they&rsquo;re used to it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stay away from people like your ex, and the moment you start seeing red flags, run for the hills instead of rationalizing them. Make sure you get into the next relationship with your eyes wide open.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>A professional therapist can help you get in touch with your emotions, communicate more effectively and set healthy boundaries to have a happy and healthy relationship.<\/b><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/strategies-to-deal-with-emotional-abuse-in-a-relationship\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Strategies to Deal With Emotional Abuse in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"15-ways-to-have-a-healthy-relationship-after-emotional-abuse\"><\/span>15 ways to have a healthy relationship after emotional abuse<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/silvana-mici\">Licensed Psychologist and Coach Silvana Mici<\/a> observes that,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rebuilding a healthy relationship after emotional abuse requires open communication, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking professional guidance. Rebuilding trust takes time, patience, and a commitment to mutual growth and understanding.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, how to have a healthy relationship after emotional abuse?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here&rsquo;s a list of 15 ways to get you there.<\/b><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Take time to heal&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No matter how tempting it may seem, don&rsquo;t <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-long-to-wait-between-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">jump into a new relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> too soon. You&rsquo;re wrong if you&rsquo;re hoping that it&rsquo;d help you heal from the abusive one. The euphoria of a new relationship might keep your mind off the trauma in the beginning.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But, the unresolved wounds and trauma will keep resurfacing until you recover and learn to cope with it. Take time for yourself and figure out ways to reclaim your life. Survivors benefit from acknowledging what happened to them and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">getting help from a therapist<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/emotional-healing\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Simple Ways to Seek Emotional Healing<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>2. Identify what type of relationship you want<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-67889\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/identify-what-type-of-relationship-you-want.jpg\" alt=\"Happy Gay Couple Lying on a Bench Looking Each Other Young Lesbian Women Having a Tender Romantic Moment Outdoor\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, you want a healthy one this time. But what does a healthy relationship look like to you? Before answering this question, take some time to reflect on your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/emotional-scars-of-past-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">past relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. What are the red flags that you tried to ignore?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Were you manipulated, rejected, and gaslighted? What are the things you absolutely won&rsquo;t tolerate in your next relationship? Was there anything positive in that abusive relationship? What boundaries do you want to set? Add everything you want to your list.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Create a boyfriend vision board if need be. Make sure this time your relationship doesn&rsquo;t lack honesty, trust, respect, and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/open-communication-in-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">open communication<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Forgive yourself<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re asking yourself, &lsquo;how to have a healthy relationship after emotional abuse,&rsquo; the first and most important step is forgiving yourself. You might feel anger, shame, and guilt for staying with your abuser for longer than you should have.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But, blaming or criticizing yourself will not make things better, and being <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/pdf\/10.1177\/2055102917729542\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">compassionate with yourself <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and identifying what attracted you to your abusive partner will. Counseling can help you understand the pattern you need to break free from.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Figure out what attracted you to your abusive partner and try to understand what kept you stuck in that relationship for as long as it did. You don&rsquo;t want to fall for the same kind of person again.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Educate yourself and seek professional help<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are so many resources available to help you <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.webmd.com\/mental-health\/what-are-treatments-for-posttraumatic-stress-disorder\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">deal with PTSD<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and anxiety after an abusive relationship. Use them to learn how to break the cycle and love after abuse. Read articles and books on how to have a healthy relationship after emotional abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Find a trauma and PTSD therapist who can help you kickstart the healing process. With professional help, you can acknowledge and accept what happened to you, develop strategies to better respond to your triggers, and healthily <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/is-your-inability-to-regulate-your-emotions-destroying-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">manage your emotions<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Build a support network<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Controlling and abusive partners tend to isolate their partners from their friends and family. If that was the case, it&rsquo;s time to rebuild and reconnect with your support system. Talk to your friends and family or join a support group.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having a strong support system will help you get through the struggle after an <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/why-people-stay-in-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotionally abusive relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Go out with your girlfriends, watch a movie, spend an entire day with them to remind yourself how your life was before the emotional abuse took place.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You also need your support system to be there when you finally gather the strength to love again. Being in love might cloud your judgment. Your friends might see the red flags in your new relationship before you do and save you from another heartache.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Take things slow<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your friends and family undoubtedly have your best interests at heart. They might try to set you up with someone or keep telling you to start dating again. But, finding the strength to start dating after an emotionally abusive relationship takes time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t let anyone make you rush into things. You don&rsquo;t need to feel pressured to be in a relationship if you aren&rsquo;t ready to take the leap of faith. Ask for their support while you work on rebuilding your self-confidence and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/marriage-restoration\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">restore your faith in love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Learn to trust again<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-67890\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/learn-to-trust-again.jpg\" alt=\"Couple Holding Hand Together Close Shot\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Trust is the fundamental building block of any relationship. Learning to trust after abuse is an uphill battle for abuse survivors. Understandably, it&rsquo;s not easy for you to let your guard down. You have lost trust in others as well as in yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But, if you want to get the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/14-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-strong-healthy-and-happy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">happy and healthy relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> you so deserve, you have to be open to being vulnerable again. You are not being expected to trust someone blindly. Give your new partner incremental trust and start slowly.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Start afresh<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t punish your new partner for the mistakes your ex-abuser made. There are times when you might feel like your partner is trying to manipulate you, like your ex. Take a step back and see if they&rsquo;re doing it or you&rsquo;re overanalyzing things out of fear.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner also needs to understand where you&rsquo;re coming from and be patient with you. Go to trauma therapy or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/couples-therapy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">couples therapy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> together so that both of you can learn how to have a healthy relationship after abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Talk about your past relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you feel ready to start dating after emotional abuse, have an honest conversation with your potential partner about your abusive relationship. Knowing upfront about each other&rsquo;s relationship history is a great way to build trust in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talk about how badly you were treated and what you&rsquo;re looking for in a relationship now. Explain how your abusive relationship has <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/low-self-esteem-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">affected your self-esteem<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and why you&rsquo;ve developed <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-resolve-trust-issues-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">trust issues<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Only move forward with the relationship if your new partner is willing to allow you to heal at your own pace and respect your boundaries. Don&rsquo;t settle for less, and don&rsquo;t ignore any red flags.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>To understand what emotional abuse can do to your brain, watch this video.<\/b><br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/GtylGSPIas0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Speak up if something reminds you of the abuse<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your new partner&rsquo;s behavior triggers you or reminds you of the abuse, talk to them about it. They might not have the faintest idea that they&rsquo;re making you feel uncomfortable. The right partner will try to understand your triggers without <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/listening-without-getting-defensive\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">getting defensive<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Open communication and finding a middle ground will help you feel comfortable and secure in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>11. Identify and manage your triggers<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Abuse survivors often experience flashbacks, memories, nightmares, or panic attacks when they&rsquo;re triggered. Raised voices, shouting, arguing, any sound, smell, place, or taste that reminds them of the abuser can make them revisit the traumatic event and act defensively.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might not be able to identify all of your triggers immediately. Take some time and be kind to yourself. Realizing the triggers when they happen and talking to your partner about them will help you manage them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>12. Listen to your intuition<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you start dating after emotional abuse, you might not feel too comfortable trusting your instincts. You&rsquo;ve been manipulated and were called &lsquo;crazy&rsquo; or &lsquo;paranoid&rsquo; every time you talked about something not feeling right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If something doesn&rsquo;t add up or you feel uncomfortable for some reason, don&rsquo;t ignore it anymore. Trust your gut and talk to your partner about it. Whether you were right or wrong, a healthy partner wouldn&rsquo;t mind listening to your concerns and putting your mind at ease.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>13. Make self care a priority<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you&rsquo;re recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship, it&rsquo;s crucial to meet your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Be compassionate toward yourself and figure out what brings you happiness and peace.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Start journaling, meditation, and working out to boost your physical and emotional well-being, mental health, and quality of life. To be in a healthy relationship after abuse, you first need to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/learning-to-love-yourself\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love yourself<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and rebuild your self-esteem before anything else.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>14. Open up to love again<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;ve been hurt, it&rsquo;s normal for you to be scared to open up again. But you need to believe that you deserve a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/14-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-strong-healthy-and-happy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">happy and healthy relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Closing your heart off might keep it safe, but it won&rsquo;t get you anywhere.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love your partner with all your heart. It might scare you to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/tips-to-become-vulnerable-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">be vulnerable<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and allow someone to see you for who you are- the good and bad sides. But, putting yourself out there will let you give and receive love without any limits.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>15. Leave your emotional baggage behind<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unprocessed and repressed emotions from your past relationship affect how you think, act and communicate in your new relationship. If you don&rsquo;t deal head-on with them, it gets heavier by the day, and you keep falling back into the bad habits your abusive relationship taught you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, you must free yourself of your emotional baggage and leave unhealthy patterns of behavior behind. Those coping mechanisms that you had to learn aren&rsquo;t necessary for a healthy relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/the-effects-of-emotional-abuse\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Effects of Spousal Emotional Abuse in a Marriage<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>Conclusion<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Starting a new relationship after an abusive one is undoubtedly a challenging route. The journey toward healing might not be an easy one, but it surely will be worth the time. Every time you wonder how to have a healthy relationship after emotional abuse, remind yourself that it&rsquo;s possible to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/falling-in-love-again-after-being-hurt\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love again<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can be in a healthy relationship as long as you take your time to heal, forgive and trust yourself again.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Starting a new relationship after an abusive one can be extremely difficult. Living with an abusive partner in constant fear and anxiety may have made you skeptical about love. Now you may have no idea how to have a healthy relationship after emotional abuse.&nbsp; &nbsp; You might keep wondering if you can find happiness again and if it&rsquo;s possible to love after being abused like that. Starting dating after an abusive relationship may seem like a daunting idea to you. Although it may seem impossible to love after being emotionally abused, you can still have a normal relationship and a <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":67888,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2602],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67885"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=67885"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67885\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":105079,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67885\/revisions\/105079"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/67888"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=67885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=67885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=67885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}