{"id":67360,"date":"2021-06-28T05:23:33","date_gmt":"2021-06-28T05:23:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=67360"},"modified":"2026-03-13T09:50:37","modified_gmt":"2026-03-13T09:50:37","slug":"how-to-get-out-of-a-controlling-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-get-out-of-a-controlling-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Out of a Controlling Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Stubborn<\/p>\n

Are you stuck in a controlling relationship where you keep going out of your way to deal with a controlling boyfriend or girlfriend but <\/span>never feel appreciated<\/span><\/a>? Well, you’re not alone. Tolerating controlling behavior in a relationship can be exhausting and suffocating.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe you’ve tried your best to <\/span>save the relationship<\/span><\/a>, but things keep getting worse. You’ve reached your limit, and now you find yourself wondering how to get out of a controlling relationship. If this sounds somewhat like you, read on.<\/span><\/p>\n

In this article, we’re going to explore the signs of a controlling person, what a controlling relationship looks like and how to get out of a controlling relationship when you feel stuck.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also Try: <\/i><\/b>Controlling Relationship Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a>.<\/span><\/i><\/pre>\n
<\/span>What is controlling behavior?<\/span><\/h2>\n
Controlling behavior means isolating someone from their support system, threatening and <\/span>manipulating<\/span><\/a> in a way that makes the victim feel so insignificant that they end up giving up control in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
Passive-aggressive behavior<\/span><\/a>, criticizing someone for their every move, and trying to change others are examples of controlling behavior in a relationship. Controlling behavior is one kind of <\/span>emotional abuse<\/span><\/a>, and the victim might feel confused, guilty, or ashamed because of it.<\/span><\/p>\n
Sometimes controlling behavior includes abuse and <\/span>domestic violence<\/span><\/a> as well. If you are a woman who feels she is trapped in a controlling relationship, check out this book by <\/span>Psychotherapist Carol A Lambert<\/span><\/a>. It highlights ways to take back control and get out of an abusive relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>Signs You're in a Controlling Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>15 Signs of a controlling relationship<\/span><\/h2>\n
What is a controlling relationship? Is there an obvious controlling relationship behavior to look out for?<\/span><\/p>\n
Well, Let’s have a look at these 15 signs to assess the state of your relationship and know for sure if you’re being controlled in a relationship.<\/b><\/p>\n
  1.  There’s an <\/span>unhealthy power dynamic<\/span><\/a> in your relationship. Your partner is the one making all the decisions in your relationship, and you have got no choice but to follow. You might be forced to put your goals and aspirations on the back burner.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
     <\/p>\n
    1.  Your partner finds faults in everything you do. Their <\/span>destructive criticism<\/span><\/a> keeps making you feel like you’re not good enough to be loved by anyone, and your controlling partner is doing you a favor by being in a relationship with you. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
       <\/p>\n
      1.  The controlling partner tries to isolate you from your friends, family, or anybody you’re close with. They find problems with your friends’ behaviors and keep telling you to stay away from them for one reason or another. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
        Maggie Martinez<\/a>, LCSW, says<\/p>\n
        Eventually, you find yourself no longer spending time with anyone but your partner. It becomes incredibly isolating and lonely.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
         <\/p>\n
        1.  When you deal with controlling people, they manipulate you in a way that makes you <\/span>codependent<\/span><\/a>. You start having a hard time making decisions, even simple ones like what to wear on a casual night out. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
           <\/p>\n
          1.  Veiled threats and <\/span>emotional abuse<\/span><\/a> are regular parts of your life. You live in constant fear of them doing something spiteful if you don’t do as they say. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
             <\/p>\n
            1.  They love you conditionally and with strings attached. You hear them saying things like, ‘I’ll love you more if you do that for me’ or ‘I’ll spend more time with you if you stop hanging out with your best friend.’<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
              Maggie Martinez further adds,<\/p>\n
              This is an example of a transactional relationship where the partner expects something in return for treating you how you deserve to be treated.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
               <\/p>\n
              1.  When you deal with a controlling partner, they make sure you always feel indebted to them. You have to work hard to earn their love. They <\/span>keep score<\/span><\/a> and make you feel guilty if you fail to indulge their whims. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
                 <\/p>\n
                1.  You have no privacy. Be it your Facebook password to your bank account details; they need to have access to every bit of your life. They demand complete transparency in the name of love. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
                   <\/p>\n
                  1.  In a controlling relationship, you regularly find yourself saying ‘sorry’ without knowing what you did to hurt them. It looks like every step you take somehow annoys your partner.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
                     <\/p>\n
                    1.  Your <\/span>partner doesn’t trust you<\/span><\/a> enough and keeps <\/span>snooping<\/span><\/a> on you. You keep reporting your whereabouts to your partner because they get paranoid if they don’t know where you are all the time.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
                       <\/p>\n
                      1.  Your partner wants others to feel indebted to them for everything they do and indulge their every whim. If not, you may have to face their angry outbursts.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
                         <\/p>\n
                        1.  Your partner might show <\/span>signs of extreme jealousy<\/span><\/a>. They may also intimidate and threaten you to have control over you.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
                           <\/p>\n
                          1. They tend to gaslight<\/span><\/a> others and call them ‘crazy’ or ‘irrational’ if things don’t go their way. If something goes wrong in the relationship, they take on the role of a victim and make others feel guilty.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
                             <\/p>\n
                            1.  They try to <\/span>change their partners<\/span><\/a> and make them feel insignificant. They don’t respect the boundaries others set and can’t take ‘no’ for an answer.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
                               <\/p>\n
                              1.  Might show <\/span>signs of abusive behavior<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>
                                 <\/p>\n
                                Also, watching this video might help.<\/b>