{"id":66409,"date":"2021-05-27T09:24:56","date_gmt":"2021-05-27T09:24:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=66409"},"modified":"2026-03-23T11:20:20","modified_gmt":"2026-03-23T11:20:20","slug":"things-cheaters-say-when-confronted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/things-cheaters-say-when-confronted\/","title":{"rendered":"20 Things Cheaters Say When Confronted"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Man<\/p>\n

If you listen to the things cheaters say when confronted, you will be shocked to your bones. When confronting a cheating spouse, and they are guilty, you will be surprised at the outrageous lies and statements they give.<\/span><\/p>\n

When confronting a cheater, you have to guard your heart because they will say things that can hurt you more. <\/span><\/p>\n

Not everyone who is caught cheating denies it; some accept their mess and try to make amends. Others will say different things to cover it up and cause more hurt to their partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you see <\/span>cheaters’ behavior patterns<\/span><\/a> in your partner, it is best to anticipate what they will say when you confront them. This step will make you know how to react best when sorting things out with your cheating partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

So read on to learn about the typical things cheaters say when confronted.<\/span><\/p>\n

Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> Things to Ask for from Your Cheating Partner<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
20 excuses cheaters give when they are confronted<\/h2>\n
When cheaters are confronted, they give different excuses for their inactions. <\/span><\/p>\n
If you are not careful, you will believe them, and they have the leverage to repeat the same mistake. <\/span><\/p>\n
When your partner cheats, watch out for any of these excuses below:<\/b><\/p>\n
1. You have not been close lately<\/b><\/h3>\n
After catching your spouse cheating and they say you have been distant, they are trying to make themselves the victim. This is one of the very common things cheaters say when confronted!<\/span><\/p>\n
This statement’s essence is to make you feel that they were <\/span>emotionally starved<\/span><\/a> because of your absence. Some of them will tell you they contributed more to the relationship with their presence than you did.<\/span><\/p>\n
2. Nothing occurred; it’s your imagination<\/b><\/h3>\n
Many cheaters are manipulative, and when they know you have caught them, they will <\/span>call you paranoid<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n
You will find many of them saying nothing happened and your imaginations are deceiving you. If you <\/span>catch your spouse cheating<\/span><\/a> and hear any statement related to this, know they are lying.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
3. You never cared about me<\/b><\/h3>\n
A cheating partner can try to turn the tables by <\/span>blaming you<\/span><\/a> for his inactions. <\/span><\/p>\n
They would try to play the victim by stating you didn’t care about them, and they chose to cheat instead. <\/span><\/p>\n
This is not an excuse because they would have discussed with you how they were treated. So, beware of such manipulative things cheaters say when confronted with their wrongs, and do not fall for them!<\/span><\/p>\n
4. I was not in my right mind<\/b><\/h3>\n
If you can finally get them to admit they cheated, they might say they were not in his right mind. People who make this statement try to blame the person they cheated with. <\/span><\/p>\n
They can also lie about how they resisted at first but succumbed under pressure.<\/span><\/p>\n
These are the things cheaters say when confronted to save themselves from their partner’s wrath. They look for such easy and manipulative ways to escape their misdemeanors.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> Common Causes of Infidelity in Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
5. It is not what it seems<\/b><\/h3>\n
\"Wife<\/p>\n
When confronting a cheating spouse after finding out they have been unfaithful, some will tell you <\/span>it is platonic<\/span><\/a>. They will go further to say that it is unbelievable that you are <\/span>accusing them of cheating<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n
Usually, the cheater’s word is to discredit you, but you have to be careful not to be caught in their play.<\/span><\/p>\n
6. I don’t know why I cheated<\/b><\/h3>\n
If you caught your husband or wife cheating and they tell you they didn’t know why they did it. <\/span><\/p>\n
These are the things cheaters say when confronted to confuse you. <\/span><\/p>\n
Always be cautious when you hear this because they want to twist your mind and get away with their offense.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> Reasons Why Men Cheat in Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
7. I’m in love with them, not you<\/b><\/h3>\n
When a cheating spouse is caught, one of the hurtful statements they can make is <\/span>falling out of love<\/span><\/a> with you. <\/span><\/p>\n
You need to be prepared to hear statements like this because they might be honest to a point. If your partner tells you this, you can forgive them, but it is best to go for counseling.<\/span><\/p>\n
8. I was bored<\/b><\/h3>\n
One of the common things cheaters say when confronted is <\/span>they were bored<\/span><\/a>. It is not easy for a relationship to maintain the same momentum it started with after a long while. <\/span><\/p>\n
Hence, when one of the partners cheat, they use the boredom excuse and further state that things have begun to change.<\/span><\/p>\n
Also Try: <\/i><\/b>Are You Bored With Your Marriage Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
9. I am sorry<\/b><\/h3>\n
If you are wondering why do cheaters get angry when caught, it is because they are not ready to go through the long and strenuous process of reconciliation. <\/span><\/p>\n
This is why they will apologize with a single statement, “<\/span>I am sorry<\/span><\/a>.”<\/span><\/p>\n
Most times, this statement is an apology for getting caught and not for cheating. <\/span><\/p>\n
For them to gain your trust again, they have to work hard for it and act beyond a simple statement. So, be wary of false apologies and other things that cheaters say when confronted!<\/span><\/p>\n
10. It was just sex<\/b><\/h3>\n
\"Cheating<\/p>\n
One common behavior after getting caught cheating is the nonchalant attitude. This is why some of them view <\/span>cheating as having sex<\/span><\/a> and moving on with life. <\/span><\/p>\n
They fail to be sensitive to their partners’ feelings, and they will rarely admit their wrongdoings.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> Does Sexual Infidelity Mean Your Marriage Is Over?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
11. I didn’t intend to hurt you<\/b><\/h3>\n
If you confront a cheater and he tells you this, it is a big lie because it is one of the things cheaters say when confronted. <\/span><\/p>\n
Anyone who intends to cheat knows it would hurt you. When people cheat, they are fully conscious of their actions, and you should not be deceived by their excuses.<\/span><\/p>\n
12. I was sex-starved<\/b><\/h3>\n
Some cheaters will claim they were <\/span>not getting enough sex<\/span><\/a> from you, and they had to look elsewhere. <\/span><\/p>\n
This is an excuse that should not be tolerated because if they were sex-starved, they would have communicated with you.<\/span><\/p>\n
If someone feels trapped in a <\/span>sex-starved marriage<\/span><\/a>, they should seek help and get the issue sorted.<\/span><\/p>\n
Also Try:<\/i><\/b> Sex-starved Marriage Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/pre>\n
13.  It will not happen again<\/b><\/h3>\n
It is very hard to restore trust when it has been broken. If your cheating partner tells you it won’t happen again, don’t take their word for it. <\/span><\/p>\n
Ensure they are deliberate about their actions, and they must prove it to you before you can accept them.<\/span><\/p>\n
14. You cheated first<\/b><\/h3>\n
This is one of the shocking statements that cheaters say when they are found out. If you do a little investigation, you will discover their claims are not profound. <\/span><\/p>\n
For example, if they saw a flirty message on your phone from someone else, they could use that as their excuse to cheat.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> Who Cheats More in Relationships – Men or Women?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
15. You need to trust me<\/b><\/h3>\n
When you discover one of the signs of a cheater, some of them might try <\/span>gaslighting<\/span><\/a> you. Even though it is evident, they broke your trust. <\/span><\/p>\n
They will try to coerce you into <\/span>trusting them again<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n
When someone’s trust is broken in the light of cheating, it takes time, patience, forgiveness, and commitment to rebuilding the trust.<\/span><\/p>\n
16. I’m not happy with the marriage\/relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n
One of the signs he is lying when confronted is his supposed <\/span>unhappiness with the marriage<\/span><\/a>\/relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n
Usually, they make this statement when they are out of excuses to give. Also, they will point out flaws in the relationship that made them cheat.<\/span><\/p>\n
These are things that cheaters say when confronted. But, if they had intentions to save the relationship, they would have tried to bring the issues to your attention well in advance. <\/span><\/p>\n
Cheating cannot be an immediate solution to any lingering issues in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
Also Try:<\/i><\/b> Are You In An Unhappy Relationship Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
17. It happened just once<\/b><\/h3>\n
Some people use this statement to justify their cheating habits. Even though they <\/span>cheated more than once<\/span><\/a>, they lie to reduce the gravity of their offense. <\/span><\/p>\n
Someone who cheats once has broken their partner’s trust, and it takes a lot of work to restore this trust.<\/span><\/p>\n
18. Nothing physical occurred<\/b><\/h3>\n
Some people don’t know that cheating is not only physical; <\/span>it can be emotional<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n
If you are spending time with someone else and caring about them more than your partner, you are cheating with them. <\/span><\/p>\n
The act of investing your emotions continuously into someone other than your partner is cheating.<\/span><\/p>\n
If your partner says nothing physical occurred, things can still be sorted out. Ensure both of you see a <\/span>relationship counselor<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>What Is an Emotional Affair? Is Your Partner Having One?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
19. You don’t understand me<\/b><\/h3>\n
If you notice some cheating behavior patterns and you are suspecting, it is best to confront them. <\/span><\/h3>\n
One of the common excuses they would give is your <\/span>inability to understand them<\/span><\/a> fully. They will claim that the person they cheated with understands them better than you. <\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> Do You Really Understand Your Partner?<\/span><\/i><\/a> <\/span><\/pre>\n
20.  It should stay in the past<\/b><\/h3>\n
If your cheating partner continues to restate the fact that it happened in the past and should not be brought to the present, they are not ready to change. <\/span><\/p>\n
Anyone willing to turn a new leaf from cheating must revisit the past, draw the needed lesson and make amends for their wrongdoings.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>Why Do People Cheat in Relationships?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n
\"Businessman<\/p>\n
Now that you know the common things cheaters say when confronted with their wrongdoings, you must also know how to tackle such a complex situation.<\/span><\/p>\n
Here are listed a few frequently asked questions. These questions should be able to answer most of your doubts and show you a way out of this distressing scenario.<\/span><\/p>\n