

{"id":66078,"date":"2021-05-17T07:56:24","date_gmt":"2021-05-17T07:56:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=66078"},"modified":"2026-01-04T14:08:10","modified_gmt":"2026-01-04T14:08:10","slug":"who-should-say-i-love-you-first-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/who-should-say-i-love-you-first-in-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Who Should Say &#8216;I Love You&#8217; First in a Relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-66094\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/who-should-say-i-love-you-first-in-a-relationship.jpg\" alt=\"Couple In Love Standing And Hugging On A Building Rooftop At Sunset With Cityscape In The Background\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to saying I love you, many people use this statement as a yardstick to determine how well their relationship is progressing. Also, people have different opinions on who should say I love you first, probably because of past experiences.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even though it is true to an extent, saying I love you first is a big relationship milestone.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After saying I love you for the first time, we naturally expect our partners to reciprocate, but sometimes they don&rsquo;t. When he says I love you first, it is important for you not to feel pressured because it is not a competition. You need to be sure of your feelings before saying yours.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Who-will-most-likely-say-I-love-you-first\"><\/span>Who will most likely say I love you first?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">From time past till now, one of the common arguments in a relationship is who says I love you first. <\/span><b>Many people believe it is the woman that says it because they are more emotional.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However,<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.apa.org\/pubs\/journals\/psp\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a study listed in the June edition of the Journal of Personality and Social psychology<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> had a different opinion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The study was conducted where 205 heterosexual men and women were interviewed. According to Josh Ackerman, an MIT psychologist, the results showed that men were quicker to admit they were in love.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And one of the reasons was because they were usually eager to have sex and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/commitment-phobia\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">not commitment<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> at first. In comparison, if a woman says I love you first, she is after the commitment first instead of sex.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/when-to-say-i-love-you\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When to Say I Love You &ndash; 9 Signs It&rsquo;s Time!<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Should-the-guy-always-say-it-first\"><\/span>Should the guy always say it first?<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is no definite rule that states either the guy or the lady should say I love you first.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is why people ask who should say I love you first. However, when he says I love you first, you must have seen the signs coming.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here are some signs that let you know he is close to confessing his feelings.<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>When he is more romantic<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-66095\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/when-he-is-more-romantic.jpg\" alt=\"Loving Couple On The Bed In The Bedroom\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/signs-he-loves-you-but-scared-to-admit\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">guy is about to say I love you<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, he will be more romantic.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The reason is, he considers that period as a big moment, and he needs to keep momentum. If you notice that he is acting more romantic, you should brace up to hear those words from him because they will come soon.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/men-and-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Men and Relationships &ndash; What Are Men Really like in Romance<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>When he mentions other things he loves about you<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If a guy keeps mentioning other things he loves about you, he is about to say I love you first.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The reason he says it often is because he&rsquo;s trying out how the word &ldquo;Love&rdquo; would sound in his mouth. If you are unguarded, you might be swept off your feet when he says I love you.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>He opens up about his views on love&nbsp; &nbsp; <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a guy continually tells you his views on love, it is to see your reaction.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He is testing the waters to know how you would react when he says I love you. When they see you have similar views to theirs, they might say the four-letter word sooner than you expect.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/simple-gestures-saying-i-love-you\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gestures for Saying &ldquo;I Love You&rdquo; Without Uttering a Word<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-a-Girl-confess-her-love-first\"><\/span>Can a Girl confess her love first?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you feel your favorite woman is a mystery to you? Are you sure she adores you but has refused to let you know?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For some men, when a woman says I love you first, they consider it as being courageous. Hence, it is important to mention that there is nothing wrong with a woman saying I love you first.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>These signs below help you know if she is about to let you know how she feels.<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>She avoids you because of her feelings<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to girls saying I love you, it is a hard nut to crack, and this is why many of them would prefer to avoid the guy.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you notice she finds it hard to be herself when she is around you, and she gives excuses not to see you, then she is about to say I love you.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Also Try:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/is-she-into-me-quiz\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is She Into Me Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>She is interested in your personal affairs<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is normal to have female friends who are interested in our affairs, but some of them are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/physical-signs-a-woman-is-interested-in-you\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">interested in having a relationship with you<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you have that female friend who wants to be involved in everything you do, she is about to say she loves you.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>She wants to be involved in your future<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a woman wants to participate in your future plans, and she makes conscious efforts towards it, she is about to confess her feelings.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you notice this, don&rsquo;t be taken unaware because you anticipated it.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Also Try:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/should-i-say-love-you-quiz\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Should I Say I Love You Quiz<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-long-should-I-wait-before-saying-I-love-you\"><\/span>How long should I wait before saying I love you?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-66096\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/how-long-should-i-wait-before-saying-i-love-you.jpg\" alt=\"Close Up Of A Couple Enjoying Shopping Together.\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to the average time to say I love you, there is no rule stating the time duration for us to confess our feelings. The answer to common questions like how long should you wait to say I love you depends on the peculiarity of your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel it is the right time to tell them you love them first, you should not hesitate.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For guys, if she said I love you first, you should not take her feelings and courage for granted. If you have a hunch that she is into you, you can tell her you love her provided you are sure of your feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Who-should-say-%E2%80%98I-love-you%E2%80%99-first\"><\/span>Who should say &lsquo;I love you&rsquo; first<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anyone can <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/assets.csom.umn.edu\/assets\/165677.pdf\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">say I love you<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> first because it depends on who is confident enough.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you like each other, anyone can go first, but they should be sure the other person feels the same way. It hurts if you love someone, and it is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/unrequited-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">unrequited<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/christiana-njoku\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Christiana Njoku<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, LPC:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">As long as you love each other and you are sure when you profess your love, it will be reciprocated; who says it first doesn&rsquo;t matter.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hence, the question of who says I love you first depends on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pairedlife.com\/love\/Finding-the-Courage-to-Say-I-Love-You\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">who feels courageous to do so<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/ways-to-express-your-love\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">200 Ways to Say &ldquo;I Love You&rdquo;<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-reasons-you-should-say-%E2%80%98I-love-you%E2%80%99-first\"><\/span>10 reasons you should say &lsquo;I love you&rsquo; first<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people find it difficult to translate their feelings into words.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is an emotional risk to say I love you first because you don&rsquo;t know the expected response. It takes courage to confess your feelings first, and if you are wondering, should I say I love you first, <\/span><b>here are some reasons why you should.<\/b><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. There is strength in confessing your feelings<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people have the conventional idea that they are weaklings if they confess their feelings.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, this is untrue. When you are the first to tell your partner I love you, it is a show of strength and not weakness. More so, it shows you are confident of what you want.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2.<\/b> <b>It motivates your partner to be true to themselves<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you say I love you first, your partner is forced to find out their true feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is normal to be afraid of confronting your feelings, but when you hear your partner confess theirs, motivation steps in.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. It is a genuine and kind act<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Telling someone you love them is genuine and kind.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a world where hate abounds, people feel happy when someone tells them they are loved.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. The relationship becomes stronger<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are sure the love in your relationship is not <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/identify-you-are-in-a-one-sided-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">one-sided<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, telling your partner you love them first is not a bad idea. When you affirm your feelings to your partner, it <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">makes the relationship stronger<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> as both of you will be more committed than before.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With time, your partner would affirm their feelings, which makes the relationship more solidified.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/14-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-strong-healthy-and-happy\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong, Healthy, and Happy<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>5. It is a liberating experience<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you love someone and you have not told them, it is a burdensome feeling, especially anytime you see them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, when you tell them I love you first, a huge burden will be lifted off your shoulder. If you don&rsquo;t say it, you will feel tense around them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. You become more physically intimate with your partner<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-66098\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/you-become-more-physically-intimate-with-your-partner.jpg\" alt=\"Young Couple Doing Romance In The Bedroom\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you say I love you first and your partner reciprocates, it takes your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/stages-of-physical-intimacy-in-a-new-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">physical intimacy to a whole new level<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will enjoy hugging, kissing, and having sex with them more than before. It also allows you to explore your partner to a whole new level.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Your partner might say it back<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to hear I love you from your partner, it might be better for you to say it first.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner might be the shy type, and hearing it from you could give them the impetus to say it back.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. To clear your partner&rsquo;s confusion<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner might have some people interested in them, and to avoid losing them, it is best to tell them how you feel.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Telling your partner, I love you helps them clear their confusion if they have many crushes.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9.<\/b> <b>It helps you focus on other facets of your life<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might be finding it challenging to focus on other aspects of your life because confessing your feelings is holding you back.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hence, to be free, tell your partner I love you without looking back.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Because you love your partner<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You cannot hide your feelings from someone forever except they are dead or snatched by another person, and some people miss the opportunity of a lifetime.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Christiana Njoku highlights that:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>As long as you love your partner and your feelings are genuine, be open about it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are sure of your feelings, you don&rsquo;t have to wait for a long time without letting your partner know how you feel.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/how-often-you-should-say-i-love-you\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Often You Should Say &ldquo;I Love You&rdquo; to Your Partner<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>Conclusion<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to saying I love you, many people see this as a complicated process. Hence, this article answers common questions like when is it okay to say I love you, and it helps you know if your partner feels the same way about you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one likes to be <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/disappointment-in-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">disappointed<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and this is why you should be sure you and your partner have something going before telling them I love you.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Watch this video that explains the psychology behind saying I Love You, who says it first, and when it is said:<\/b><br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/G-OncrSZ8bM\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When it comes to saying I love you, many people use this statement as a yardstick to determine how well their relationship is progressing. Also, people have different opinions on who should say I love you first, probably because of past experiences. Even though it is true to an extent, saying I love you first is a big relationship milestone.&nbsp; After saying I love you for the first time, we naturally expect our partners to reciprocate, but sometimes they don&rsquo;t. When he says I love you first, it is important for you not to feel pressured because it is not <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":66094,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[2511],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66078"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=66078"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66078\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":115843,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66078\/revisions\/115843"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/66094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=66078"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=66078"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=66078"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}