{"id":65356,"date":"2021-04-30T10:09:03","date_gmt":"2021-04-30T10:09:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=65356"},"modified":"2024-05-15T22:11:43","modified_gmt":"2024-05-15T22:11:43","slug":"what-to-do-when-your-partner-does-not-want-to-be-intimate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/what-to-do-when-your-partner-does-not-want-to-be-intimate\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Do When Your Partner Doesn\u2019t Want to Be Intimate: 10 Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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For a fair number of people, intimacy is a crucial aspect of a relationship, but what to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate? This a dilemma faced by many couples. <\/span><\/p>\n

While a relationship without sex isn’t imaginable, dwindling sex life can make people feel less wanted. Whether the wife avoids intimacy or the husband, the other person in the relationship may feel insecure and dissatisfied. <\/span><\/p>\n

Intimacy and sex can hold different meanings to different people. Nevertheless, it is important to maintain some level of intimacy within a relationship to keep it strong and healthy. People who speculate over ‘my partner never wants sex’ might have to delve deeper into the matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>How important is intimacy in a relationship?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Intimacy is important for any relationship, and that is not just a layman’s guess. Several studies have been conducted to understand<\/span> the <\/span>role of sex in an intimate relationship<\/span><\/a>. While sex undoubtedly has <\/span>physical and psychological benefits<\/b>, it can have a significant impact on marriage and relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sex improves relationship satisfaction and provides <\/span>physical benefits<\/b> such as lower blood pressure and reduced stress. For a relationship, sex helps with the release of the hormone oxytocin, which helps in strengthening bonding and general well-being in couples. <\/span><\/p>\n

Sexual activity also helps couples <\/span>feel close to each other<\/b> and can also encourage ways to be intimate without being physical. When a partner isn’t intimate, it can make the other person feel distant.<\/span><\/p>\n

Human beings are wired to want to be intimate with their partner, and for most, this can mean that they want to have sex. The <\/span>lack of sex<\/b> in a relationship can cause partners to grow distant, and in a few instances, it may lead to being unfaithful. <\/span><\/p>\n

When your partner doesn’t want to have sex, it doesn’t mean that you both are looking elsewhere. Rather, it can be an opportunity for both of you to discover how to reignite the spark. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Why does your partner not want sex?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Not wanting to have sex does not imply that your partner doesn’t desire you. Rather, other stressors in life can also impact people’s libido. So, what could be why your partner doesn’t want to be sexually intimate? <\/span><\/p>\n

So, before thinking about what to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate, think about why they don’t want to be intimate. ‘My partner doesn’t want to have sex’ can have an underlining issue.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Stress <\/b><\/h3>\n

A demanding job, fast-approaching deadlines and overall fast-paced work life make people prone to stress. Naturally, when a person is stressed, their sexual libido decreases, and they may not want to be intimate as frequently. <\/span><\/p>\n

When intimacy stops in a relationship, it can be a red flag for the declining mental health of a partner, as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> 10 Ways to Have Stress-reducing Conversations With Your Partner<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
2. Medications <\/b><\/h3>\n
Medication can also be a reason why your partner may not want to be intimate. Different types of medications have different side effects, one of which may be decreased libido. If your partner has gone on some medication recently, then it can be considered as a cause. <\/span><\/p>\n
3. Childbirth <\/b><\/h3>\n
Why your partner doesn’t want to be intimate? Maybe because they are recovering. Pregnancy and childbirth can greatly impact a couple’s mental and physical health. Once a couple becomes parents, life can get more hectic. <\/span><\/p>\n
As parents get busy, sex life may be put on the back burner for some time. In such cases, husbands might wonder why “my wife doesn’t want me sexually.”<\/span><\/p>\n
Truthfully, when your husband or wife avoids intimacy, the reason may be more complicated than your wife not finding you desirable. Childbirth is a pivotal process, and the aftermath may be difficult for men and women alike. <\/span><\/p>\n
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4. Past infidelity <\/b><\/h3>\n
Understanding your partner’s past is important. If they have been cheated on in the past or been with someone who engaged in secret sexual behavior outside of the relationship, they could be left with serious trust issues. Such experiences may make it difficult for them to get intimate later on. <\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> How to Survive Infidelity: 21 Effective Ways<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
5. Erectile dysfunction <\/b><\/h3>\n
Erectile dysfunction<\/span><\/a> is fairly common, but it is rarely spoken about. Instead of feeling undesirable and wondering what to do when your husband doesn’t want you sexually, you may want to understand whether <\/span>erectile dysfunction may be the cause<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n
You might wonder ‘why won’t he have sex with me,’ but the answer may never be clear to you till he confesses. Don’t assume your partner to be someone who doesn’t like sex. <\/span><\/p>\n
In most cases, men can avoid being intimate altogether rather than confide in their partners about their dilemmas.<\/span> It can make the other person wonder why it is that I want sex but my partner doesn’t.<\/span><\/p>\n
6. Past sexual abuse<\/b><\/h3>\n
If your partner has experienced <\/span>sexual abuse<\/span><\/a> in the past, then it may hugely affect their willingness to be intimate with their partners. It may also be difficult for your partner to talk about the abuse they have experienced and how it affects their libido. <\/span><\/p>\n
7. Financial problems <\/b><\/h3>\n
Nothing can stress a person out like financial troubles. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n
In uncertain times, financial worries can increase and lead to a person feeling stressed and anxious. Naturally, this can lower their interest in sex and make them spend extra time at work or looking at the budget. This may not leave much scope to get intimate with one’s partner.<\/span><\/p>\n
8. Preferences<\/b><\/h3>\n
Every person has a different preference when it comes to sex and intimacy. Some prefer conventional processes, while others like to be more adventurous. The answer to this is not always learning sex tricks to keep them interested. Rather, you should strive to have honest conversations about your preferences.<\/span><\/p>\n
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9. Sexual discomfort<\/b><\/h3>\n
Feeling physically uncomfortable during sex can be common for both women and men. A certain type and level of pain experienced during sexual intimacy can lower people’s interest in sex and can make them actively avoid it as well. <\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> 6 Signs of Sexual Repression That Could Be Affecting Your Sex Life<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
10. Religious beliefs<\/b><\/h3>\n
For some people, the urge not to have sex may stem from religious or personal beliefs. While some people may not think that they are religious, ideas that have been drilled into their heads may unconsciously drive them not to want to be intimate.<\/span><\/p>\n
In any case, it is best to understand more about what your partner believes about sex and intimacy.<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/span>10 things to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
Regardless of the reason why sexual intimacy may be dwindling in your relationship, it is important to know what to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate to ensure that it does not negatively affect your relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n
1. Talk it out <\/b><\/h3>\n
The first step to combat any issue in a relationship is to talk openly to your partner. An<\/span> honest conversation<\/span><\/a> discussing your needs and concerns can go a long way in helping partners feel better. It helps bring issues to light and allows you both to work towards fixing them.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> How to Talk to Your Crush and Make Them Like You Back<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
Hesitant about discussing sex with your partner? Watch this video:<\/span><\/i>
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