{"id":6497,"date":"2016-03-02T09:27:01","date_gmt":"2016-03-02T09:27:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=6497"},"modified":"2026-03-31T07:21:52","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T07:21:52","slug":"why-are-modern-marriages-complicated","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-are-modern-marriages-complicated\/","title":{"rendered":"Why are Modern Marriages Complicated?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Marriages\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you feel stressed that your marriage is not working? Do you wonder <\/span>why is marriage so hard?<\/b> And what makes marriage hard?<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you unhappy that your <\/span>relationship<\/span><\/a> with your spouse largely feels hostile and aggressive?<\/span><\/p>\n

The trouble with modern marriages is that they have become very complicated. More couples seem ready to fight it out with their spouse than take efforts to make their marriage work.<\/span><\/p>\n

No wonder why are modern marriages are complicated, and divorce is becoming more and more common.<\/span><\/p>\n

Does all this imply that marriages in the olden days were less complicated and worked better?<\/span><\/p>\n

In a way, yes. Take my case, for example. I have been married for 18 years, and <\/span>divorce<\/span><\/a> never entered our thoughts even once.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, my husband and I had our share of conflicts, but our marriage was devoid of bitterness. Fights never lasted more than a day, and we worked hard to sweeten our relationship with loads of <\/span>love<\/span><\/a>, care, and attention.<\/span><\/p>\n

So why can’t a <\/span>marriage in modern society <\/b>be like that too?<\/span><\/p>\n

Most relationships lack tolerance and compatibility these days, making the marriage very complicated.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are some things to be mindful of during the most difficult years of marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Money issues<\/span><\/h2>\n

According to a Money Magazine survey, couples fight about money twice as much as they fight about sex. Money puts a huge strain on a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is important to understand your partner’s money mindset — are they spender or a saver? It also helps to be in sync with your spouse to ensure that your financial expectations and priorities are the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

Be mindful of the fact that you must never keep financial secrets from your spouse. Plan your finances, make sure that you know how much you are earning and how much of that is being spent.<\/span><\/p>\n

Have honest conversations about things related to monthly expenditures and budgets.<\/span><\/p>\n

Watch your own expectations,<\/b> and if you feel that you need help handling money matters, then seek ‘financial <\/span>therapy<\/span><\/a>’’ a burgeoning field dedicated specifically to helping couples navigate financial turmoil.<\/span><\/p>\n

Therapy can help you develop a financial plan that works for both of you and ensures a financially secure future for your marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Intolerance<\/span><\/h2>\n

Intolerance is a common facet of most modern marriages today. Minor faults are escalated and made into a huge deal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tolerance is what makes a marriage happy. Your ability to appreciate, respect, and accept your spouses’ faults is what strengthens the affection between you and your spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is important to be open to the idea of making adjustments if you want your marriage to work<\/a> – and this should be done by both partners.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nurturing your marriage with lots of care, love, and patience can remedy your reactions of anger and discomfort. Patience and tolerance are the virtues that make a marriage loving and stable.<\/span><\/p>\n

Marriage is difficult<\/b> when you can’t find it in your heart to be compassionate and tolerant with your partner.<\/span>\"why<\/p>\n

<\/span>Unrealistic expectations<\/span><\/h2>\n

When someone gets into marriage, having set all sorts of unrealistic expectations, they’re surely in for a rude shock.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s important to know that marriage isn’t a cure for loneliness and boredom; it isn’t a rowdy sex romp or an easy transition, for that matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

Marriage is hard work<\/b> and demands a lot of love and nurturing. Stop thinking that your partner is responsible for your happiness; make sure you are both expecting the right things out of the marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some reasonable marital expectations include:<\/span><\/p>\n