

{"id":63546,"date":"2021-02-25T07:27:31","date_gmt":"2021-02-25T07:27:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=63546"},"modified":"2025-04-02T11:04:32","modified_gmt":"2025-04-02T11:04:32","slug":"signs-your-spouse-is-hiding-something-from-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/signs-your-spouse-is-hiding-something-from-you\/","title":{"rendered":"15 Signs Your Spouse Is Hiding Something From You"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-63568\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/signs-your-spouse-is-hiding-something-from-you.jpg\" alt=\"Emotional Upset Couple Sitting On Couch And Quarreling About Smartphone, Mistrust Concept\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your marriage was based on sharing and caring, but things have changed lately. Are you wondering whether your spouse has become a little secretive all of a sudden?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;ve started doubting them or yourself and wish you could know the signs your spouse is hiding something from you, then you are at the right place.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When people stop being honest, for some reason, they usually have some surprises planned, or they <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/privacy-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">need some more privacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in their lives, or there really could be something that they wish their partners wouldn&rsquo;t know, as it would put the relationship in trouble.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is hiding things in a relationship normal?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does your spouse have the right to keep things from you?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes and no!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having an <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/flexibility-or-honesty-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">honest relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> doesn&rsquo;t mean you have to share every single secret.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your spouse has a right to privacy in your relationship, as do you. You can both keep conversations, thoughts, and feelings private. However, if your spouse is doing something behind your back, they need to learn that hiding things from your partner will stunt communication and growth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you see signs your spouse is hiding something from you, it can leave you feeling confused and upset. You may be wondering what your spouse is keeping from you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Common secrets partners keep include:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Substance abuse and addiction problems<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keeping a serious illness a secret<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Secretly meeting up with friends, family, or associates<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Legal troubles<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lending communal money or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/finance\/red-flags-of-financial-infidelity\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">lying about finances<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Employment issues<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/extramarital-affairs\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having an affair<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you find yourself searching &ldquo;my wife&rdquo; or &ldquo;my husband is keeping secrets from me,&rdquo; keep reading to find out the signs your spouse is hiding something from you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>15 signs your spouse is hiding something from you<\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/AWoOFyHHQ6s?si=brCy9fajiXou2_p-\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are listed fifteen obvious signs your spouse is hiding something from you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch out for these common signs to identify if something is going on behind your back secretly. Depending on what your spouse is hiding, you can take appropriate action.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Your intuition is telling you something<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes the easiest way to learn how to tell if someone is hiding something from you is to <\/span><b>listen to your gut.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You know your partner better than almost everyone. Is something gnawing inside telling you that they are keeping secrets? Do you see the signs your spouse is hiding something from you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If so, don&rsquo;t write off the feeling as pure paranoia. You were born with a natural hunch that lets you know when something feels off. Don&rsquo;t ignore it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. They have become secretive<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You used to know everything about your spouse &ndash; now you don&rsquo;t even know when they&rsquo;ve taken their lunch break.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the signs your spouse is hiding something from you is a sudden change in their schedule.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Has she changed her daily habits?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does he stay later at work than usual?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Has she changed her likes and hobbies seemingly at random?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If so, your spidey senses may be tingling, and for a good reason.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Emotional intimacy is lacking<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-88662\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/1913723170.jpg\" alt=\"Husband yelling at wife\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One sign she&rsquo;s keeping secrets in a relationship is if she seems emotionally distant.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/defining-emotional-intimacy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is a bond you and your partner share. It was carefully built through communication, experiences, and shared vulnerability.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you still feel that strong emotional connection, or does your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/emotionally-unavailable-partner\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">partner seem emotionally unavailable<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> these days?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If it&rsquo;s the latter, take it as a warning sign your spouse is hiding something from you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. You&rsquo;re hearing rumors<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rumors aren&rsquo;t always the best source for true relationship details. Someone could easily be spreading false rumors about your spouse out of jealousy or misinformation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That said, <\/span><b>rumors shouldn&rsquo;t be entirely dismissed. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may point to some interesting signs your spouse is hiding something from you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Match up the information you&rsquo;re hearing with your personal suspicions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, your boyfriend came home three hours late on Friday night. You then hear a rumor that your boyfriend was out looking flirty with a new girl from his work on Friday night.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This rumor matches up with part of your reality and may be worth a listening ear.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. They&rsquo;ve become hard to reach<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did you use to have the kind of relationship where you were always in contact throughout the day? Maybe you made a habit of sending sweet and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/romantic-love-messages-for-your-partner\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">romantic messages<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to one another via text or called to say hello when you had a spare moment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>One sign that your husband keeps secrets is if he is suddenly unreachable.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you can never seem to get a hold of your spouse and he hasn&rsquo;t given you any convincing reasons why it may be a sign that he has something to hide.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Sexual intimacy is lacking<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research published by the<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/24111536\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> found that emotional and sexual intimacy are some of the highest predictors of relationship happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Without these important bonds of intimacy, you may <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/8-signs-you-are-insecure-in-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">start to feel insecure<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> about your connection, and with good reason.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One sign he is hiding something is a sudden lack of interest in being intimate with you. This could be because he&rsquo;s having a sexual relationship with someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Sexual intimacy is different<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the signs your spouse is hiding something from you or is secretly seeing someone else may manifest in your sex life. She may be trying new things that she seems to have learned from someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. They&rsquo;re making a lot of plans without you<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You and your partner used to do everything together, but now they seem to be regularly making plans without you. Is this something to worry about?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It could be.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-find-time-for-yourself-after-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">partner has every right to alone time<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or time with friends, but if this seems like <\/span><b>out of character behavior<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it may be something worth bringing up to your spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ignoring the signs your spouse is hiding something from you could cost you a big deal later. So, don&rsquo;t be paranoid, but don&rsquo;t choose to stay ignorant too.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Money is unaccounted for<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the huge warning signs your spouse is hiding something from you is if he can&rsquo;t account for the sudden loss of money in your accounts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This could be a sign that he (or she) has trouble with money, is secretly spending without your knowledge, or is spoiling someone else with your shared finances.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. They&rsquo;re picking random fights with you<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-63570\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/they-are-picking-random-fights-with-you.jpg\" alt=\"Angry Indian Couple Having An Argument In Their Living Room\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People who are having affairs or keeping secrets tend to become defensive at the smallest things. <\/span><b>They may even accuse YOU of being unfaithful<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is done partially out of guilt, partially as a way to try and manipulate you into submission.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>11. Eye-contact is lacking<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They say the eyes are the window to the soul, so what does it mean if your spouse won&rsquo;t meet your gaze?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Iranian Journal of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences reports that eye contact between partners creates a heightened sense of intimacy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your partner is keeping secrets in a relationship, they may manifest their guilt through a lack of eye-contact. This is one of the commonly observed signs your spouse is hiding something from you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>12. They are changing their appearance<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Why does my husband hide things from me?&rdquo; you ask yourself.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Is she going to the gym to better herself, or is she trying to impress someone new?&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your partner wants to treat their body better and pay closer attention to their diet, these are positive changes that should be celebrated.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That being said, changing one&rsquo;s appearance could be one of the signs your spouse is hiding something from you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>13. They are obsessed with their phone<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People love their phones, and likely you and your partner are no exception.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/internet\/2020\/05\/08\/dating-and-relationships-in-the-digital-age\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2019 smartphone study<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> published by the Pew Research Center reveals that 34% of partners admit to checking their partner&rsquo;s phone without their permission.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Is there a reason to be paranoid about what your partner is doing in the <\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/cell-phone-privacy-in-the-relationship\/\"><b>privacy of their phone<\/b><\/a><b>?<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The survey goes on to show that 53% of survey participants said they check on their ex on social media.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the top signs your spouse is hiding something from you is if your spouse can&rsquo;t seem to leave the room without their smartphone and seem downright paranoid about you getting their hands on it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>14. Their timelines don&rsquo;t make sense<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your spouse tells you about their night out, but their timeline is all over the place.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is this something to be concerned about?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It could be that your spouse is simply forgetful, but it may also be a sign that they can&rsquo;t keep up with their lies.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>15. You aren&rsquo;t feeling the love<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the easy signs he or she is hiding something from you is how you feel in your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you feel love, trust, and comfort when you are with your spouse, or are you racked with concern?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your answer will make it clear whether something bad is going on behind your back.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>How do you deal with a secretive spouse?<\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-63571\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/how-do-you-deal-with-a-secretive-spouse.jpg\" alt=\"Couple Having An Argument In The Kitchen\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the signs your spouse is hiding something from you is if they are being secretive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What should you do about it?<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Gather yourself<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Collect your feelings and take some time to address your feelings privately.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How do you feel about what is potentially going on in your relationship?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Has your partner truly done something to make you lose trust in them?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you onto their secret, or are you overreacting to a situation out of insecurity?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b>Talk to your spouse<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;ve seen all the signs that someone is hiding something from you, it can be tempting to snoop through their phone to gather evidence for a surprise attack, but resist this urge.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead, confront your partner about your suspicions as soon as you begin to ask, &ldquo;Is he or she hiding something from me?&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be calm, and don&rsquo;t let your emotions get the better of you. Cool heads prevail.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Open with honest and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/open-communication-in-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">open communication<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Let your partner speak without interrupting or accusing them. If you don&rsquo;t believe their explanation of things, calmly explain why and give them a chance to defend themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Decide how to proceed<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If there are issues in your relationship, give yourself time to decide what you want to do next.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your partner has been unfaithful, surround yourself with loved ones that you can confide in.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Studies show that emotional support from understanding friends and family can significantly lower psychological distress.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Conclusion<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are only two people who know what really goes on behind closed doors: you and your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If there are signs your spouse is hiding something from you, take time to figure out whether your suspicions are accurate or if you are just being overly sensitive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keeping secrets from your spouse doesn&rsquo;t feel right, no matter which side of the coin you are on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Open the lines of communication and talk to your partner about how you&rsquo;re feeling.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your suspicions are correct and something underhanded is going on, confide in a close friend or family member you can lean on for support.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Also Watch:<\/b><br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/U541YGswHik\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your marriage was based on sharing and caring, but things have changed lately. Are you wondering whether your spouse has become a little secretive all of a sudden? If you&rsquo;ve started doubting them or yourself and wish you could know the signs your spouse is hiding something from you, then you are at the right place.&nbsp; When people stop being honest, for some reason, they usually have some surprises planned, or they need some more privacy in their lives, or there really could be something that they wish their partners wouldn&rsquo;t know, as it would put the relationship in trouble. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":630,"featured_media":63568,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2602],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63546"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/630"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=63546"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63546\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":108056,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63546\/revisions\/108056"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/63568"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=63546"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=63546"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=63546"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}