

{"id":62684,"date":"2021-02-05T10:54:05","date_gmt":"2021-02-05T10:54:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=62684"},"modified":"2026-02-27T11:53:09","modified_gmt":"2026-02-27T11:53:09","slug":"ways-for-reconciling-after-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/ways-for-reconciling-after-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"15 Ways for Reconciling after Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-62687\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/ways-to-reconcile-after-divorce-.jpg\" alt=\"couple discussing relationship with a therapist\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Divorce is not a subject that is taken lightly by almost anybody. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research from the CDC<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> shows that the average person spends a minimum of two years thinking about getting a divorce before doing anything about it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Getting a divorce may have seemed like the answer to your relationship woes, but not all couples continue feeling relieved by their separation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may be surprised to learn that many couples think about reconciling after divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What are the chances of getting back together after divorce? Is it successful when divorced couples reconcile? Is it okay to remarry your ex? How many divorced couples get back together?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are all common questions for couples considering getting back together after a divorce. Keep reading to shed light on the answers.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-reconciliation\"><\/span><b>What is reconciliation?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Simply put, a reconciliation is when two exes want to get back together after a divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many reasons why couples consider reconciling after divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Divorcing couple separated in haste<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reuniting the family unit<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hurt feelings caused cloudy decision-making during separation<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Genuine love for one another \/ desire to remarry your ex<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Serious issues that pushed a couple apart have now been handled<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Breakups trigger <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC3115386\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">psychological distress<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and a decline in life satisfaction. It isn&rsquo;t surprising that some couples may want to restore the once happy marriage they shared after losing their family unit.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-there-be-reconciliation-after-divorce\"><\/span><b>Can there be reconciliation after divorce?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Absolutely &ndash; but the chance of success depends largely on you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When getting back together after a divorce, remember that you get what you put into your relationship. Both partners must be willing to put <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/save-your-marriage\/rebuilding-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">effort into rebuilding<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> what has been broken.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The answer to this question also depends on why you broke up in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Perhaps you have a loving, supportive marriage, but one act of betrayal broke you apart. In this case, it is possible to overcome the hurt and reconcile.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to&nbsp;<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Grady Shumway<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, a licensed mental health counselor:&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Reconciliation after divorce is possible but requires significant effort, commitment, and mutual willingness from both parties to address the underlying issues that led to the divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Couples therapy can provide a structured environment to explore reconciliation options, rebuild trust, and develop healthier communication and conflict resolution skills. However, individuals need to approach reconciliation with realistic expectations and a thorough understanding of the factors that contributed to the initial separation.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your issues stem from violence or abuse and these issues have not been corrected, it would not be wise to pursue a romantic relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/causes-of-domestic-violence\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Causes of Domestic Violence in Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-are-the-chances-of-getting-back-together-after-divorce\"><\/span><b>What are the chances of getting back together after divorce?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When considering getting back together after a divorce, you should take your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/personality-temperament\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">personality types<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and past issues into account.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The most <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">common reason people get divorced<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> often involves growing apart, lack of commitment, conflict, and drinking or drug use. Emotional, physical, and online infidelity also play huge roles in marital dissolution.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your issues came down to a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/3-reasons-why-a-lack-of-communication-in-marriage-can-be-detrimental\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">lack of communication<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or marital boredom, these are easily fixed when reconciling after divorce with a little effort.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, if your divorce stemmed from a darker place, the chances of successfully reuniting with your ex are probably slimmer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Whether or not your marriage reconciliation after divorce will be a success has much to do with:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your willingness to accept the past and move forward<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Both partners wanting to re-explore a romantic relationship<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The careful planning of a marital reconciliation<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Changing toxic habits and behavior<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/marital-therapy-does-it-work\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marital therapy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and communication<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A divorcing couple looking at getting back together should know that reunification will not work unless you are both invested. Be committed to taking the time and putting in the effort to build something new and amazing together.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-often-do-divorced-couples-reconcile\"><\/span><b>How often do divorced couples reconcile?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How many divorced couples get back together?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A global study published in &lsquo;<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Lost-Found-Lovers-Fantasies-Rekindled\/dp\/0595348556\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lost and Found Lovers<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&rsquo; conducted by the University of Southern California found that of 1000 couples who got back together with a lost love was more than 70% successful in keeping the love alive.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Furthermore, of the couples who married and subsequently divorced, 6% happily remarried!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The chances of reconciliation after divorce are as good as you make them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to marriage reconciliation after divorce, we think 70% sounds like an excellent reason to give your relationship another try.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/optimize-second-chances-for-healthy-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How To Optimize Second Chances For Healthy Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Things-to-consider-before-you-choose-to-reconcile\"><\/span><b>Things to consider before you choose to reconcile<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Couples getting back together: What kind of boundaries will you be setting to ensure your reconciliation goes smoothly?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Boundaries don&rsquo;t sound all that fun, but they are the same rules and regulations that will bring your relationship back together and stronger than ever.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">As clinical social worker Grady Shumway explains:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">When considering reconciliation after divorce, setting clear boundaries is essential for rebuilding trust and promoting a healthy dynamic. Establishing boundaries around communication, personal space, and expectations can help both parties deal with the reconciliation process with respect and understanding.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Prioritize open and honest communication about your needs and boundaries, and be prepared to enforce them if necessary to ensure mutual respect and emotional safety.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>Some boundaries for consideration when reconciling after divorce:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What are the chances of getting back together after divorce, and are you willing to accept those statistics\/accept that things may not work out again?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Will you tell people that you&rsquo;re dating again?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is the ultimate goal of getting back together? Are you <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/readiness\/things-to-consider-before-remarrying-your-ex\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">looking to remarry your ex<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you going to be exclusively dating one another?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you willing to remove the issues that drove you apart (working too much, flirting with other people, misusing finances)<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What do you plan on doing about toxic behaviors?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you both willing to go slow when reuniting after divorce?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Will you see a counselor?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How much time will you be spending together each week?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you getting back together for the right reasons (love, commitment, desire to be a unit)?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are important questions to discuss with your ex before you dive into the world of marital reconciliation.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"15-ways-to-reconcile-after-divorce\"><\/span><b>15 ways to reconcile after divorce<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-62686\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/ways-to-reconcile-after-divorce.jpg\" alt=\"couple holding hand\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Decide to be different<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reconciling after divorce doesn&rsquo;t mean you continue where you left off in your marriage; it means starting over.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once trust is gone, it&rsquo;s difficult to get it back &ndash; but it is worth every effort.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pnas.org\/doi\/10.1073\/pnas.1314857110\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">study suggests<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that if a couple can heal from a betrayal, the trust they build afterward will be stronger than it was before the betrayal occurred.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In your new relationship, choose to be different. Choose to be honest with each other, to talk openly about your feelings, and to devote more time to each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Don&rsquo;t do it alone<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The chances of getting back together after divorce are much higher when you include marriage therapy as part of your healing plan.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A therapist or counselor will be able to help guide you through the healing process.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During therapy, you will learn communication techniques and learn how to resolve conflict in a way that is healthy and productive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A therapist can also help you decide whether or not it would be healthy to move forward romantically. They can pinpoint whether the marriage would be worth revisiting.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can find a counselor in your area with this easy <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">search tool<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Choose what and when to tell your children (if you have any)<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you nervous to tell your children about your reconciling after divorce?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&rsquo;s natural, and honestly, there are good reasons to keep your rekindled relationship to yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The effects of divorce on children have been well researched.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A study published by <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jstor.org\/stable\/3600224?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Western Washington University<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> revealed the children in single-parent families who tend to move a lot were more likely to drop out of school and become a teen parent.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Other impacts of divorce include behavioral problems, lower academic performance, and issues with depression.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After going through such a traumatic period, your children may be fragile.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do not tell them about your reconciliation until you are positive that you are staying together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you do decide to tell them, decide together what to say and approach the subject as a family.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Open communication is key<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A lack of communication is a big factor in growing apart in a marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the other hand, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4852543\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">research shows<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that couples who communicate have happier and more positive relationships. This will heighten your chances of getting back together after divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communication will help you and your ex grow and understand each other better and contribute to positive reconciling after divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being honest about how you are feeling can also help small issues from snowballing out of control.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Pinpoint what went wrong and work on those issues<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many reasons why your marriage may have ended. Now that you are back together, it&rsquo;s important to narrow down the issues that led to your separation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dig deep. Infidelity is a common <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-many-relationships-fail\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">reason why couples break up<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but instead of focusing on the affair itself, get to the bottom of why you or your partner felt the need to step outside of the marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Only when you know the real issues plaguing your past relationship can you start to implement real change.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Take things slowly<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just because you&rsquo;re thinking of reuniting after divorce doesn&rsquo;t mean you have to rush into things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For all couples getting back together: Make your moves carefully.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t feel the need to share your finances, move back in together, or announce your reconciliation to the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Until you know where things are going, it&rsquo;s perfectly acceptable to keep your relationship private from friends and family.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Have a date night<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having a weekly date night is a great way to get to know each other from scratch.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">National Marriage Project<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> studied various research and concluded that a regular date night could boost romantic love, heighten excitement, and make couples more likely to stay together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you go out on dates, pretend like it&rsquo;s the first time. Ask get-to-know-you questions and try and woo your spouse as if you&rsquo;ve only just met.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Think outside the box<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you aren&rsquo;t comfortable going to therapy but still want some intervention to your marital reconciliation<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking an <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/marriage-courses\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">online marriage course<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is a great way to reconnect with your ex and tackle the issues that once plagued your marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Save My Marriage course tackles such issues as:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rebuilding trust<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Improving marital communication<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recognizing unhealthy behaviors<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Improving intimacy<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reconnecting as a couple<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many lessons that can be learned from an online marriage course that makes reconciling after divorce much easier.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Choose to forgive<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When reconciling after divorce, old issues are bound to come up. How you handle those issues will decide whether getting back together is going to be successful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you refuse to forgive your partner, you are essentially putting a wall between you. Research indicates the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4363296\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">inability to forgive<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can also contribute to poor mental health.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Forgiveness takes strength, and you will need that strength to rebuild your broken marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Look for the good in each other<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Successful reconciling after divorce is all about growth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you think of something that you love about your partner, don&rsquo;t keep it to yourself! Studies show that parents who <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/10-ways-to-show-gratitude-to-your-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">express gratitude<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> experience a boost in relationship satisfaction, enhanced commitment, and greater intimacy.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/marriage-satisfaction\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Secrets to Marriage Satisfaction<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>11. Learn skills to improve your relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Think of the things that held you back in your marriage. What decisions could you have made to change things?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Self-expansion is an excellent way to boost your self-esteem and continue to grow as a person, partner, parent, and friend.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Also watch: Skills for healthy romantic relationships.<\/b><\/p>\n<h3><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/gh5VhaicC6g\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/h3>\n<h3><b>12. Leave the past behind you<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want a successful divorce reconciliation, it&rsquo;s important to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/forgiveness\/how-to-learn-to-let-go-and-forgive-in-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">learn to let go<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you&rsquo;ve worked past the issues that led to your divorce, try and leave the past where it belongs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dredging up old problems or throwing past betrayals in your partner&rsquo;s face is a sure-fire way to halt any progress you&rsquo;re making as a new couple.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>13. Put off intimacy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Couples getting back together should remember that Oxytocin is a great love booster when trying to reconnect with your partner. Oxytocin <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/15931222\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">increases trust<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> between partners, may boost fidelity in men, and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/15834840\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">reduces stress<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But that doesn&rsquo;t mean you have to jump into bed together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having sex should be an expression of your love and commitment to each other, not something you do because it&rsquo;s familiar or exciting.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oxytocin is released during sexual intimacy, but that isn&rsquo;t the only trigger for this love hormone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of being sexually intimate, choose other avenues of oxytocin-releasing intimacy, such as holding hands, embracing, and snuggling together.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>14. Do something new together<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The chances of getting back together after divorce will be higher if you devote quality time to your spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1177\/026540759301000205\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Studies<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> suggest that shared activities promote marital satisfaction. Doing something new with your spouse can make your relationship feel more exciting and bond you as a couple.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Couples who regularly <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-have-a-quality-time-with-your-partner\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">spend quality time together<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> are also happier and less stressed out than other partners.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>15. Do it for the right reasons<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re considering getting back with ex-husband after divorce, make sure you&rsquo;re doing it for the right reasons.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reconciling after divorce strictly for your kids or out of a guilty conscience won&rsquo;t lead to success.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to resume your romantic relationship with your ex, do it because you love them, see changes, and see a real future together.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/separation\/marriage-separation-with-kids\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Help Your Kids Through Marriage Separation<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Takeaway\"><\/span><strong>Takeaway<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You didn&rsquo;t jump into a hasty divorce, so don&rsquo;t jump back into a relationship with your ex without giving it some serious thought.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you ready for the commitment that comes from getting back together with your ex? Do you want to heighten your chances of getting back together after divorce?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your goal is reuniting after divorce, take comfort in the fact that it can be done! Many couples have successfully managed marriage reconciliation after divorce, and you can do it, too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/communication-is-the-key-element-of-every-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communication is the key to a successful relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, so learn to open up and express yourself. This is especially true for men who are getting back with ex-wife after divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you have children, make sure you consider their feelings before announcing that you&rsquo;re reconciling after divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Issues that once plagued your marriage may still exist. Marriage therapy or an online marriage class will be beneficial for learning how to banish toxic habits and learn healthy new behaviors.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Couples getting back together can successfully reconcile if you&rsquo;re both willing to put in the blood, sweat, and tears &ndash; so to speak.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Divorce is not a subject that is taken lightly by almost anybody. Research from the CDC shows that the average person spends a minimum of two years thinking about getting a divorce before doing anything about it. Getting a divorce may have seemed like the answer to your relationship woes, but not all couples continue feeling relieved by their separation. You may be surprised to learn that many couples think about reconciling after divorce. What are the chances of getting back together after divorce? Is it successful when divorced couples reconcile? Is it okay to remarry your ex? How many <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":62687,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[2686],"class_list":["post-62684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce","tag-considering-reconciliation","has_thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62684","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=62684"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62684\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":117551,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62684\/revisions\/117551"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/62687"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=62684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=62684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=62684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}