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Conflict avoidance is common in marriages; it decreases intimacy and pleasure and increases resentment between spouses. Unresolved long-term conflict avoidance leads to distancing and even divorce. <\/span>This doesn’t have to happen!<\/span><\/i> Partners can learn skills to embrace conflict, grow as individuals, cultivate intimacy<\/a>, and move toward amazing relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n Putting an end to conflict avoidance tactics and cultivating successful conflict resolution skills can be challenging. I wrote a motivational rhyme that ’s a helpful reminder that challenges can be conquered when approached in doable parts. Memorize this rhyme and value your time!<\/span><\/p>\n Break steps down into doable parts, <\/span><\/i>doesn’t matter how you feel it’s important that you start, <\/span><\/i>trust you can do way more than you think, f<\/span><\/i>irst step, second step, third and repeat.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n This article will help you identify patterns you may be using to avoid conflict and provide you with positive coping tools to manage conflict successfully. Why let conflict ruin a relationship when you can build a great one? <\/span><\/p>\n I’ve seen many couples in my practice with exquisite strategies to avoid dealing with disagreement.<\/p>\n Susan dodged difficult discussions with her husband by yelling, ‘sitting on the pitty pot,’ and other deflective and defensive behaviors. When Susan’s husband, Dan, tried to broach the subject of Susan’s excessive drinking, she yelled back, “If I didn’t have to do all the work around the house, I wouldn’t drink so much!” Susan didn’t want to admit that she habitually drank up to eight glasses of wine a night, so she made anger and other emotions take center-stage. Gradually, Dan began avoiding bringing up tough topics, thinking “What’s the use? Susan will just react with another Oscar-worthy emotional performance.” Over time a wall of resentment went up and they stopped making love. Three years later, they were in divorce court—but they could have avoided a complete marital breakdown by getting help early.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n
<\/span>Let’s look at some common conflict-avoidance patterns:<\/span><\/h2>\n