

{"id":58742,"date":"2018-09-06T11:14:40","date_gmt":"2018-09-06T11:14:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/things-people-dont-tell-you-about-marriages\/"},"modified":"2023-01-21T11:54:28","modified_gmt":"2023-01-21T11:54:28","slug":"things-people-dont-tell-you-about-marriages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/things-people-dont-tell-you-about-marriages\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Things People Don\u2019t Tell You About Marriages"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-3250 size-full\" title=\"Things People Don&rsquo;t Tell You About Marriages\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/268-1-1606062668.jpg\" alt=\"Things People Don&rsquo;t Tell You About Marriages\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/pre-marriage\/6-basic-steps-to-getting-married\/\">Getting married<\/a> is a very crucial part of anyone&rsquo;s life. It changes your life, for the good or bad. Married out of love, or arranged by family, both situations put you in the long run. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With this one person, that you have to spend your entire life with. And more often than people usually admit, it is not as easy as it seems to people who are not yet married. And there is a lot that people won&rsquo;t tell you about marriages.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1-There-is-no-right-or-wrong-way\"><\/span>1. There is no right or wrong way<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriages don&rsquo;t come with user manuals, and what most people don&rsquo;t understand is marriage has no right way to be done, nor is there a wrong way.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are right and wrong things, sure, but how you make it work depends upon your own understanding. What one works well for one couple, may not do so well for another, and that is completely normal. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">is no way, implies that either of them is guilty. You need to work out your own way of things, a routine and understanding of your own to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/making-marriage-work-worksheets\/\">make your marriage work<\/a> rather than implementing things from others.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2-Marriage-is-not-a-happily-ever-after\"><\/span><strong>2. Marriage is not a happily ever after<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In contrast to what our fairytales have always told us, marriage is not a perfect happy ending. It is rather a beginning of another book, one that&rsquo;s a fairytale, tragedy, thriller, and comedy all in one. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/life-after-marriage\/\">Life after marriage<\/a> is not hearts, ponies and rainbows. There are days when you dance in joy and days you want to pull your hair out in frustration. It is an array of emotions, a roller coaster that is set on a never-ending loop. There are ups and downs, slow days and crazy days, and all of it is absolutely normal.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-Understanding-comes-with-time\"><\/span><strong>3. Understanding comes with time<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A marriage doesn&rsquo;t come with a signed agreement of understanding and communication. It develops over the years.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Misunderstandings and arguments in the early years of marriages are very common. To live with someone, and to understand them, their thought processes, their actions, and manner of speech all take time.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These things need to be given time and can&rsquo;t be expected to develop overnight. However, once the two people have formed and understanding, there will undoubtedly be very few things that would hinder it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4-Times-will-change-so-will-you\"><\/span>4. Times will change, so will you<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-8375 size-full\" title=\"You will find yourself, and your spouse, change, not just once, but time and again\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Simple-Rules-to-Make-Your-Relationship-Last-2-1606062669.jpg\" alt=\"You will find yourself, and your spouse, change, not just once, but time and again\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our lives are constantly reshaping us, bit by bit, such that we are no longer the people we once used to be. And this continues after a marriage. <\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>You will find yourself, and your spouse, change, not just once, but time and again. Constantly growing and moulding into personalities you have always meant to be. <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And you will <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/8-ways-to-show-appreciation-to-the-love-of-your-life\/\">learn to accept and appreciate<\/a> all the phases and forms you two grow into. So over time, you&rsquo;ll find yourself married to the completely different person, and that is okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-Having-children-will-be-a-major-turning-point\"><\/span>5. Having children will be a major turning point<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having children changes things, and that does not go only for the daily routines.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can drastically change habits, lifestyle and in most cases, helps the couple develop a higher level of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/accepting-responsibility-in-relationships\/\">responsibility and understanding<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While having children can definitely strengthen a bond, it should not be used as a means of resolving issues or igniting a dying spark. <\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Children should come only when there is full assurance that they can be nurtured, loved and cared for the right way.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6-You%E2%80%99ll-be-under-the-same-roof-yet-not-together\"><\/span>6. You&rsquo;ll be under the same roof, yet not together<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Though you two live under the same roof, there will be times when you are so caught up in the daily tasks that you will find as little as a few minutes to really talk to each other. <\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But that doesn&rsquo;t mean that the spark between you two is dying. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You need to find and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/making-time-for-you-and-your-spouse\/\">make time for each other<\/a>, every now and then, but it does not have to be every day. Even utilizing the little time that you get at the end of the day can make all the difference.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7-The-success-of-marriage-lies-in-the-calm-moments\"><\/span><strong>7. The success of marriage lies in the calm moments<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-8249 size-full\" title=\"Days where a stressful day at work is followed by a cup of love and a touch of concern, that is what truly defines how well your marriage has lasted\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Tips-for-Dealing-with-an-Emotionally-Closed-off-Husband-1606062669.jpg\" alt=\"Days where a stressful day at work is followed by a cup of love and a touch of concern, that is what truly defines how well your marriage has lasted\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage is a roller coaster of all sorts of emotions. It throws you into all sorts of good and bad situations. <\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But none of those decides how successful your marriage is. What truly determines your bond is how well you last through all of them and stick together in the calm and quiet days. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Days where a stressful day at work is followed by a cup of love and a touch of concern, that is what truly defines how well your marriage has lasted.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Getting married is a very crucial part of anyone&rsquo;s life. It changes your life, for the good or bad. Married out of love, or arranged by family, both situations put you in the long run. With this one person, that you have to spend your entire life with. And more often than people usually admit, it is not as easy as it seems to people who are not yet married. And there is a lot that people won&rsquo;t tell you about marriages. 1. There is no right or wrong way Marriages don&rsquo;t come with user manuals, and what most people <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":58743,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[21],"tags":[2625],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58742"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=58742"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58742\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":61937,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58742\/revisions\/61937"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/58743"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=58742"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=58742"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=58742"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}