{"id":58701,"date":"2018-12-11T10:45:22","date_gmt":"2018-12-11T10:45:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/mental-health-in-relationship\/"},"modified":"2024-11-03T17:47:09","modified_gmt":"2024-11-03T17:47:09","slug":"mental-health-in-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/mental-health-in-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Ways On How to Cope With Your Mental Health Issues in a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"5<\/span><\/p>\n

Living with a mental health condition is difficult. Building a trusting, <\/span>healthy relationship<\/span><\/a> is difficult. Managing two at once? Near impossible.<\/span><\/p>\n

At least, that’s what I once believed.<\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is that your mental health will impact your relationship, and vice-versa. When single, there’s a tendency to doubt yourself which is amplified by anxiety and depression.<\/span><\/p>\n

Low mood and a lack of self-confidence can lead to a downward spiral.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> 4 Key Points to Know About the Impact of Mental Health on Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>What are mental health issues in a relationship?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
Mental health issues in a relationship can be tough to handle. They can be disruptive and <\/span>difficult to communicate<\/span><\/a>. They can be frustrating and lead to feelings of anger, resentment and jealousy.<\/span><\/p>\n
Mental health and relationships can be tricky together. Mental health issues in a relationship means different things to different people. <\/span><\/p>\n
It could mean one or both partners dealing with depression, anxiety, trauma and other common mental health issues. It could also mean unresolved grief from the death of a loved one or a past relationship. It could even mean one partner is struggling with addiction or an eating disorder.<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/span>Can your mental health mess with your relationship?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
It’s so easy to fall into the pattern of isolation due to a perceived <\/span>lack of self-worth<\/span><\/a>. You don’t see anything in yourself worth dating, so you don’t try and date. <\/span><\/p>\n
Plus, dating involves effort. Talking, getting to know someone, putting yourself out there mentally and physically can take a toll on us emotionally.<\/span><\/p>\n
All whilst battling something like depression, this is sometimes too much to bear.<\/span><\/p>\n
So, how does mental illness affect relationships? <\/span><\/p>\n
By high school, I’d already concluded that I would die alone. A little dramatic, but it seemed like a reasonable assumption at the time. I saw nothing in myself worthwhile, so I assumed no one else would.<\/span><\/p>\n
This is something shared with many people who suffer from similar conditions. I, however, was hit by a stroke of luck. I met someone who understood. Not because he himself was going through it, but because he had a close family who was.<\/span><\/p>\n
To me, it was incomprehensible. Someone who understood what I was going through? Someone I could talk to honestly, who not only understood but actively sympathized? Impossible!<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/span>4 causes of mental health issues in a relationship<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
So, what causes mental health issues? In any relationship, there is the potential for mental health issues to arise. Often, these issues stem from misunderstandings or conflict. <\/span><\/p>\n
Here are four possible causes of issues related to mental health in relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n
1. Lack of communication<\/b><\/h3>\n
Lack of communication<\/span><\/a> between partners is a common cause of relationship problems. If you and your partner don’t feel comfortable discussing your feelings and needs, it can lead to feelings of frustration and <\/span>resentment<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n
2. Poor boundaries<\/b><\/h3>\n
Poor boundaries are another common cause of relationship problems. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries helps ensure that you maintain respect and dignity in your relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> 6 Types of Boundaries in Relationships & How to Maintain Them<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
4.  Lack of support<\/b><\/h3>\n
Lack of support or understanding from friends and family can also lead to relationship problems. You may not be able to turn to your friends and family for support when you need it, which can lead to increased feelings of loneliness and isolation.<\/span><\/p>\n
Grady Shumway<\/a>, LMHC, says<\/p>\n
This absence of a support network can exacerbate existing issues within the relationship, leaving you feeling even more vulnerable and disconnected from your partner. It may also create a reliance solely on your partner for emotional support, which can place additional strain on the relationship.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
5. Past trauma<\/b><\/h3>\n
Traumatic experiences from the past can also contribute to the development of mental health issues in a relationship. If someone has experienced <\/span>abuse in the past<\/span><\/a>, it can leave them with a feeling of low self-esteem and low self-worth, which can cause problems in their current relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/span>10 ways on how to cope with your mental health issues in a relationship<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
Do you often think, “My mental health is ruining my relationship.” Well, our relationship grew on a foundation of honesty and openness. Looking back, there were some key lessons to be learned:<\/span><\/p>\n
1. A relationship goes both ways<\/b><\/h3>\n
Granted, it may have helped that he himself didn’t have any mental health issues to speak of. I was able to look after myself without putting other people first.<\/span><\/p>\n
This did lead to an issue later on – the assumption that because he didn’t have depression or anxiety, he must be fine. I was (as I affectionately call myself) the sick one. I didn’t realize until too late that my health had an issue with him.<\/span><\/p>\n
Despite being healthy, caring for someone who’s struggling can cause you to struggle.<\/span><\/p>\n
In a relationship, it’s important to recognise this in your partner.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n
They may be putting on a brave face in an attempt not to burden you further, but this isn’t healthy for them. Seeing him struggle finally pushed me to seek professional help.<\/span><\/p>\n
When I was alone, I would wallow in self-pity because the only person I believed I was hurting was myself.<\/span><\/p>\n
In a relationship, there was a strange duty of care.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n
It was an important lesson – your <\/span>toxic habits<\/span><\/a> can hurt the people around you. Be careful you’re not hurting the people you love.<\/span><\/p>\n
2. Honesty is important<\/b><\/h3>\n
\"Honesty<\/h2>\n
I’ve always been a high-functioning person, pushing down my issues and trying to ignore them.<\/span><\/p>\n
Spoiler alert – this didn’t end well.<\/span><\/p>\n
As a relationship requires <\/span>getting to know someone<\/span><\/a> intimately, I realized quickly that I could lie to myself, but not to him. He was able to pick up on the small hints that I wasn’t doing so well.<\/span><\/p>\n
We all have off days, and I realized it was better, to be honest about them, than try and hide it. I like to compare physical and mental illnesses.<\/span><\/p>\n
You can try and ignore your broken leg, but it won’t heal, and you’ll end up worse for it.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> Why Honesty in a Relationship Is So Important<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
3. Recognise your limitations<\/b><\/h3>\n
Relationship milestones can be stressful.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n
Meeting his family and friends is intense enough, without the addition of anxiety nibbling at me the entire time. Additionally, there was the FOMO. The fear of missing out. He and his friends would have plans, and I would be invited.<\/span><\/p>\n
The usual anxiety alarms would begin blaring, usually along the lines of “what if they hate me?” and “what if I embarrass myself?” The process of recovery is hard, and one of the first steps is learning to ignore these voices and thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n
They did represent something worth considering – is this too much for me?<\/span><\/p>\n
If I can’t go meet his friends or family, not only will I be missing out, but is this a sign of weakness? By not showing up, and I let us both down? In my mind, there was never any doubt. A huge ‘yes’ blazed in neon across my brain. I would be a failure as a girlfriend.<\/span><\/p>\n
Surprisingly, he took the opposite stance.<\/span><\/p>\n
It’s ok to have limitations. It’s ok to say “no”. You are not a failure. You’re moving at your own pace and taking time for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n
Recovery and management of mental health is a marathon, not a sprint.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n
4. Emotional vs. practical support<\/b><\/h3>\n
\"Part<\/h2>\n
Something my partner and I realized was that I did not want him directly involved in my recovery.<\/span><\/p>\n
He offered to help me set goals, to set small tasks and encourage me to achieve them. Whereas this can be fantastic and may work for some people, for me this was a huge no.<\/span><\/p>\n
Part of recovery is <\/span><\/i>learning to understand yourself<\/span><\/i><\/a>. To understand the real you, not those dark thoughts and fears.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n
He could have helped me set goals, simple tasks and milestones to aim for. This posed the risk of failure – if I failed meeting these goals I would be letting him down too. Believing you’ve let yourself down is bad enough.<\/span><\/p>\n
This all comes down to one thing – the two main types of support.<\/span><\/p>\n
Sometimes we need practical support. Here is my problem, how can I fix it? Other times, we need emotional support. I feel awful, give me a hug. It’s important to figure out and communicate what sort of support you need.<\/span><\/p>\n
Mental health is especially tricky, as there often isn’t an easy fix.<\/span><\/p>\n
For me, I needed emotional support. Initially, there was logic-based problem solving. Who can you speak to about getting help? But as time passed and the relationship went on, I realized I just needed a hug, and to know he was there.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading<\/i><\/b>: <\/span><\/i>How to Ask for Support From Your Partner When You Need It<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
5. Trust<\/b><\/h3>\n
 <\/p>\n
\"A<\/h2>\n
A lot of relationships tend to suffer due to a <\/span><\/i>lack of trust<\/span><\/i><\/a>.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n
I know so many friends concerned that a partner may be unfaithful, but I’ve found I simply do not have the emotional energy for that.<\/span><\/p>\n
In this video, check out Tom and Lisa Bilyeu as they explore how to deal with insecurities, worry, and anxiety that stems from the lack of trust:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n