{"id":58575,"date":"2019-08-09T09:13:21","date_gmt":"2019-08-09T09:13:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/handling-conflicts-as-the-marriage-gets-older\/"},"modified":"2022-08-09T09:13:21","modified_gmt":"2022-08-09T09:13:21","slug":"handling-conflicts-as-the-marriage-gets-older","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/handling-conflicts-as-the-marriage-gets-older\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Steps for Handling Conflicts as the Marriage Gets Older"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"6Begin with two selfish people with entirely different personalities coming from diverse backgrounds. Now add some bad habits, including interesting idiosyncrasies of both partners with an extraordinary past.<\/span><\/p>\n

Throw in a bunch of ridiculous expectations, and turn up the heat with the daily trials of life. Guess what happens next? It is inevitable, conflicts arise.<\/span><\/p>\n

The question is not, what are the best <\/span>ways to resolve conflict in marriage<\/b>. The controversy is how to deal with conflicts head-on and specifically how to deal with <\/span>marital conflict in older couples<\/b><\/p>\n

Conflicts are a sign that both partners hold dear some ideas and concepts in their life. Disagreements can lead to feelings of isolation, jealousy, anxiety, revenge, and other negative emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once the initial excitement and exhilaration of a marriage subside, reality kicks in. Sometimes couples are blessed with abundant good fortune, and conflicts begin. However, in most cases, the reverse is true.<\/span><\/p>\n

Couples facing tough times together can get into an inconsequential rivalry. They are still new to living with each other and facing daily circumstances of life together.<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the best-kept<\/span> secrets to a successful marriage<\/a> is that conflicts are dealt with as they occur. Once the dispute is solved, the friction caused due that conflict is seldom mentioned. The lesson learned from that conflict is reminded often.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>1. Adjusting to differences<\/span><\/h2>\n

A person who is always the spotlight of the party is attracted to a person who has a neatly organized sock drawer. As human beings, we find the opposite personality characteristics attractive.<\/span><\/p>\n

 As time passes by, the personality characteristics which we once found to be attractive become the <\/span>reason why conflicts develop.<\/b><\/p>\n

Once a disagreement occurs, take a step back and acknowledge the differences. Listen to what your partner has to say before completely ignoring them and disregarding their opinion.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once both of you have expressed your opinion, identify what is crucial for both of you. Attempt to<\/span> understand your personality<\/span><\/a> type and find a middle-ground solution favorable for both of you.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>2. Putting selfishness aside<\/span><\/h2>\n

Selfishness was described by the Prophet Isaiah more than 2500 years ago. “All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way,” (Isaiah 53:6). A husband and wife can have differences, just like any other healthy relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Conflicts will only increase if the same person always has to agree to the other’s demands. Instead of always wanting to be first, we should be willing to <\/span>put aside our selfishness<\/b> and accept to be last.<\/span><\/p>\n

Allow your partner the opportunity to have their way with you. Remember that the reason you got married was because of your love for each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>3. Pursuing your partner<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"PursuingSome people never forget anything. This is an excellent thing to do when you are doing business. But a relationship is not business.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some people make it a habit to remind their partner of their past mistakes periodically. Conflicts will always occur amongst individuals sincerely pursuing their aspirations.<\/span><\/p>\n

Resolving conflict in your marriage<\/b> should be sought out for the sake of solving the underlying issue and not to subdue to your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

The best advice in this situation is that of Thomas S. Monson, “Learn from the past, prepare for the future, live in the present.” The best way<\/span> to rebuild trust<\/span><\/a> is not to keep reminding your partner of past mistakes.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>4. Loving altercations<\/span><\/h2>\n

Conflicts are a sign that both partners care about each other. In a marriage, there will be times when you fight for your partner and other times when you dispute with your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some people might be wondering how is<\/span> fighting with your partner<\/b><\/a> healthy. Consider it a good sign if a man is willing to present their point of view and implement it on their partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

These arguments are a sign that he still cares and can get jealous when other people interfere in the relationship. If he genuinely loves you, he will also be ready to fight for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also watch:<\/strong> What Is a Relationship Conflict?<\/span><\/p>\n