{"id":58512,"date":"2019-09-06T05:56:37","date_gmt":"2019-09-06T05:56:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/dos-and-donts-of-break-up\/"},"modified":"2022-09-06T05:56:37","modified_gmt":"2022-09-06T05:56:37","slug":"dos-and-donts-of-break-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/dos-and-donts-of-break-up\/","title":{"rendered":"The Do\u2019s and Don\u2019ts of Break up"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-7234 size-full\" title=\"How to break up with your girlfriend nicely\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/Post-Breakup-Advice-1605974179.jpg\" alt=\"How to break up with your girlfriend nicely\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether you&rsquo;ve been in a relationship for several months or several years, <\/span><b>breaking up<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with your girlfriend is <\/span><b>not an easy thing<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to do. You still have feelings for her, even if they are only friendly ones, and she is the last person you wish to hurt. But you know deep in your core that<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/signs-of-breaking-up\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">it is time to move on.<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, learn how to break up with your girlfriend without making the situation too nasty for both of you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After all, you no longer look forward to spending time with your partner, and your <\/span><b>dates have become routine<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><b>lack the spark<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that initially brought you together.&nbsp; You&rsquo;ve tried to work things out, but nothing has changed.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, it&rsquo;s <\/span><b>time to say goodbye<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Let&rsquo;s examine some ways<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/hackspirit.com\/how-to-break-up-with-someone-you-love-10-no-bullsht-tips\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to break up with your girlfriend that<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, while never pleasant, can make this parting less painful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">First, let us hear from a couple of women<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.menshealth.com\/sex-women\/g19518249\/best-way-to-break-up-with-women\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> who have some tips<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to share on <\/span><b>how NOT to break up with your girlfriend<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The following are the &ldquo;don&rsquo;ts&rdquo; on the list of &ldquo;Dos and Don&rsquo;ts&rdquo; when breaking up with your girlfriend.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Don&rsquo;t<\/b> <b>just<\/b> <b>ghost your girlfriend<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. She deserves to be part of the breakup conversation.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Don&rsquo;t break up by phone<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, text, email, or (the horror) changing your Facebook status to &ldquo;single&rdquo;.&nbsp; This is just heartless, cowardly and rude. It shows a huge lack of respect for someone you once were close to.&nbsp; A break up should be done in person, no matter how tough it may be to deliver this bad news face to face.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Don&rsquo;t let her find out<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> she&rsquo;s been dumped by someone else.&nbsp; Tell her yourself.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Don&rsquo;t start dating another woman<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> until you have properly ended your relationship with your current girlfriend.&nbsp; You need closure, and so does she.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Don&rsquo;t lie.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Tell her the true reasons behind the breakup. Don&rsquo;t be brutal, but do be honest.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Take the initiative.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Don&rsquo;t do the weak thing by being mean, provoking her to leave you.&nbsp; If you are making the unilateral decision to break up with your girlfriend, meet this unpleasant situation head-on.&nbsp; So many men are too wimpy to do so, and end up acting badly because they&rsquo;d rather their girlfriend leave them than be the instigator of the breakup.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, let&rsquo;s focus on the &ldquo;dos&rdquo; of how to nicely break up with a girl.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>How to break up with a girl without hurting her<\/b><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1-Be-a-grown-up\"><\/span>1. Be a grown-up<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are old enough to have a meaningful relationship, you are old enough to stop the relationship in an adult way.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This means that you are prepared to have a face-to-face conversation with your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2-Pick-a-place-where-you-can-both-talk\"><\/span>2. Pick a place where you can both talk<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s a good idea to select a place that does not have a heavy symbolic meaning for either of you.&nbsp; It would <\/span><b>not be ideal to meet up<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> where you had your first date or another space that <\/span><b>holds significant memories<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may not want to break up with her in either of your homes. <\/span><b>Choose a neutral place<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> where you are not likely to be interrupted by friends or colleagues. Make sure you can have a private conversation and that the ambient noise is not too loud.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-Give-her-a-chance-to-talk\"><\/span>3. Give her a chance to talk<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When breaking up with your girlfriend, it is important for you to <\/span><b>go over your reasons<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but also<\/span><b> let her have a chance to talk<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><b>&nbsp;<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Make sure you listen to her responses and acknowledge that you are hearing her.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She will have a need to address what you are telling her, and you owe it to her to let her express her emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4-End-on-a-good-note\"><\/span>4. End on a good note<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Prepare what you are going to say so that you can <\/span><b>deliver<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> this <\/span><b>sad news calmly<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp; Make sure you begin the breakup conversation by reminding her that while you had many good moments in the relationship, you have <\/span><b>made a decision to end things<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You don&rsquo;t need to use the classic &ldquo;It&rsquo;s not you, it&rsquo;s me,&rdquo; but you can say something similar like you just aren&rsquo;t satisfied by your relationship anymore.&nbsp; <\/span><b>Remind her<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that <\/span><b>she is a great person<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and that <\/span><b>you enjoyed your time together<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But your story ends here and all you can do is wishing her well.&nbsp; <\/span><b>Avoid any personal attacks<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or criticism, the point is to break up nicely so that both of you can <\/span><b>move forward<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with a <\/span><b>sense of respect for each other.<\/b><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-Avoid-the-one-big-mistake\"><\/span>5.&nbsp;Avoid the one big mistake<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-13577 size-full\" title=\"Avoid one mistake during break up\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Things-to-Consider-Before-Taking-Marriage-Decision-After-Breakup-1605974179.jpg\" alt=\"Avoid one mistake during break up\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you break up with your girlfriend, try to avoid making that one big mistake so many people do when breaking up.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;I hope we can still be friends.&rdquo;&nbsp; Your <\/span><b>break up needs to be final<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, so promising a future friendship can be harmful.&nbsp; It can mislead your girlfriend into thinking that one day you might get back together.&nbsp; It can be detrimental for you as you wish to<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/tips-for-dating-after-separation\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">begin a new life<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, free of ties to an old relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is likely that once you<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/principles-of-dating\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">start dating again<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, a new girlfriend will not like that you maintain a friendship with an ex-girlfriend.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So <\/span><b>do not promise<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that <\/span><b>you will remain friends<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp; It rarely works out to be beneficial to either party.&nbsp; A break up needs to be definitive, final, clean and clear.&nbsp; Anything else muddies the situation and makes things harder than they already are.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be that boyfriend that she will always remember fondly, even if things did not work out at the end.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Whether you&rsquo;ve been in a relationship for several months or several years, breaking up with your girlfriend is not an easy thing to do. You still have feelings for her, even if they are only friendly ones, and she is the last person you wish to hurt. But you know deep in your core that it is time to move on.&nbsp; So, learn how to break up with your girlfriend without making the situation too nasty for both of you. After all, you no longer look forward to spending time with your partner, and your dates have become routine and <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":58513,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2606],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58512"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=58512"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58512\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/58513"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=58512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=58512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=58512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}