{"id":58510,"date":"2019-12-19T06:41:42","date_gmt":"2019-12-19T06:41:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-do-successful-men-and-women-have-difficulty-maintaining-healthy-relationships\/"},"modified":"2023-01-26T16:46:47","modified_gmt":"2023-01-26T16:46:47","slug":"why-do-successful-men-and-women-have-difficulty-maintaining-healthy-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-do-successful-men-and-women-have-difficulty-maintaining-healthy-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Successful Men and Women Can’t Maintain a Healthy Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"WhyAfter weeks of tormenting and mentally draining myself, I finally found the courage to <\/span>end my three-week engagement, 8-year relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

I remember the day I called it quits, it was right after Sandy hit New York City and destroyed the homes of many, including my own family.<\/span><\/p>\n

I remember waking up that morning and something inside me shifting, and all I heard was “Inna, you cannot continue living this way, there will never be a right time, you owe it to yourself to be happy, just do it.”<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What about his happiness?<\/span><\/h2>\n

His happiness was important to me but the realization that my own happiness was just as important, and I shouldn’t have to sacrifice mine for his came only after many years together.<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n

Leading him into thinking that there was going to be a happily ever after was by far<\/span><\/p>\n

worse than anything else.<\/span><\/p>\n

I thought long and realized that I was doing both of us a huge favor by breaking of the engagement.<\/span><\/p>\n

It would have ended up happening sooner rather than later. All I kept thinking was “it’s okay to break things off, it’s okay …and you’ll be alright, just hang in there” And so we met up and the words “I’m not happy, I can’t do this anymore” just blurted out.<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n

I hated the person I had become but comfort of familiarity and fear of change left me<\/span><\/p>\n

susceptible to pretending to others as well as to myself that I was content.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emotionally and mentally I had “divorced” my relationship many years back but the force to<\/span><\/p>\n

examine the consequences of my actions only came out the day I got engaged.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was as if something shifted in my body and forced me to re-examine my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Accepting the fact that I was miserable and unhappy at 28 years old became more painful and<\/span><\/p>\n

overwhelming day after day.<\/span><\/p>\n

One part of my being kept reciting phrases from an article I had read in Business Insider on the the <\/span>5 Things People Regret On Their Deathbeds<\/span><\/a>. “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself,” I wish I had the courage to express my feelings “”Happiness is always a choice.” the other part of me kept thinking “What will my family think if I break off the engagement?” “What will everybody else think of me?”<\/span><\/p>\n

I was an attractive, educated young woman “How did I get here?”<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>He never anticipated the relationship meltdown<\/span><\/h2>\n

He thought his strong work ethic was commendable and didn’t perceive the heat of the <\/span>resentment<\/span><\/a> building in<\/span> me or the distance drifting us apart.<\/span><\/p>\n

We both ignored the signs (which were present early on in the relationship) and<\/span><\/p>\n

believed that presents could replace presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, to say the least, I was fed up with his excuses. I felt lonely and angry for a long time and the resentment built up several years leading to parallel lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

At times I wondered “does he even notice that I’m here?” The disconnectedness between us had become intolerable.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also watch:<\/strong>