{"id":58079,"date":"2020-02-05T06:34:44","date_gmt":"2020-02-05T06:34:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/putting-your-spouse\/"},"modified":"2023-02-22T09:31:39","modified_gmt":"2023-02-22T09:31:39","slug":"putting-your-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/putting-your-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"Putting Your Spouse First: Truth About Balancing Your Family"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"PuttingWhom do you love more, your children, or your spouse? Or who comes first ‘spouse or children’? Don’t bother to answer. In your mind and heart, you know who it is.<\/span><\/p>\n

This article is not a pros and cons quest for getting the right answer to the question asked above. Rather it is an explanation to the correct answer to  why you should consider<\/span> putting your spouse first<\/span>, supported by experts and studies around the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, whom should you love more?<\/span><\/p>\n

To answer steeply, it should be your spouse who is getting more of your love and not your child.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why your spouse should come first?<\/b> Let’s go through it one rationale at a time.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>The parenting conundrum<\/span><\/h2>\n

David Code, family coach and author of “<\/span>To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First<\/span><\/a>,” says that something which may put a twist to your thought of giving unconditional love to your children.<\/span><\/p>\n

Breaking the myths of parenting<\/b> below are some points to support the “loving your spouse more” argument.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Helicoptering<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

The extra attention given to the children as compared to a spouse can take no time turning into helicoptering. As you give space in your spouse’s life, there has to be space in your children’s life.<\/span><\/p>\n

The more you will be involved with your spouse in day to day activities, the more your children will start exploring his or her individuality.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Upbringing<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

The myth is, kids require more shaping from your end to turn out to be happier and better persons. With the <\/span>mental depression<\/span><\/a> wave hitting in hard, it is evident that this myth is leading your child to turn out to be needy and dependent rather than happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Treating your kids as a second choice is beyond some selfish thought; it is for their health and well-being.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Setting an example<\/span><\/h2>\n

Children follow what they see, whether it is fashion, accent, or manners. That is the reason why some parents go for <\/span>twinning with their children<\/span><\/a>, to share the bond and inculcate some likeness and set a trademark of their relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Setting an example of your love life<\/b> or the bond with your spouse is what they will follow at some point in life.<\/span><\/p>\n

They shouldn’t see <\/span>broken marriages<\/span><\/a> and damaged household lives. Respecting and loving and putting your spouse first is what would set an excellent example of a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Stating the priorities<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"StatingWhen stating your priorities out loud, your children get the idea that the family he is a part of is not broken.<\/span><\/p>\n

Most of the <\/span>divorce heading families don’t express what they feel like <\/b>and put any non-important work above their breaking marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

Besides children, when you state your priorities by <\/span>small gestures of love towards your spouse<\/span> too, there comes a sense of completeness in the family.<\/span><\/p>\n

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