

{"id":57630,"date":"2020-11-16T05:02:16","date_gmt":"2020-11-16T05:02:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=57630"},"modified":"2025-12-04T05:06:54","modified_gmt":"2025-12-04T05:06:54","slug":"men-reveal-things-women-do-that-turn-them-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/men-reveal-things-women-do-that-turn-them-on\/","title":{"rendered":"What Turns Men On: 11 Subtle Things They Secretly Crave"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-114533\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Quiet-Apartment-Morning.png\" alt=\"Quiet Apartment Morning\" width=\"804\" height=\"536\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding what turns men on often goes far beyond the obvious. In fact, the things that stay with them, the moments they remember, the gestures that shift something inside, are usually subtle, quiet, and unexpectedly meaningful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It might be the way someone listens, the softness in a look, or a tiny spark of playfulness that appears when two people feel safe around each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And isn&rsquo;t it interesting how the smallest things can have the biggest impact?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Men may not always say it out loud, but they notice emotional warmth, confidence that feels natural, and a connection that builds slowly &ndash; gently, almost without trying. These understated signals often speak louder than anything bold or dramatic.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-it-means-to-turn-a-man-on-emotionally-and-mentally\"><\/span><b>What it means to turn a man on emotionally and mentally<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>Turning a man on emotionally and mentally often starts with feeling seen, understood, and valued.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> It&rsquo;s that comforting sense of &ldquo;you get me,&rdquo; paired with warmth, curiosity, and a little spark of playfulness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And honestly, isn&rsquo;t that what turns most men on beneath the surface?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes it&rsquo;s a gentle touch on the arm; other times it&rsquo;s a thoughtful question or a moment of genuine laughter. These small, meaningful exchanges soften defenses and create space for deeper connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a man feels emotionally safe and mentally stimulated, his attraction grows&hellip; quietly, steadily, and in a way that truly lasts.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"research_highlight\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> One<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/articles\/PMC10851294\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">review<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> distinguishes sexual arousal from sexual motivation by outlining their physiological and behavioral differences. It explains how arousal involves specific autonomic responses, while motivation reflects actions that increase sexual opportunities. Key brain structures and experimental methods are highlighted to improve clarity and translational value in research.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-turns-men-on-11-subtle-things-they-secretly-crave\"><\/span><b>What turns men on: 11 subtle things they secretly crave<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Figuring out what turns men on the most often comes down to the tiny, almost quiet things that make them feel drawn in and connected.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It isn&rsquo;t always about big gestures or dramatic moments; sometimes it&rsquo;s a look, a tone, or a small spark of warmth that lingers longer than expected.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These little moments can create comfort, excitement, and a sense of being truly seen. Here are 11 of the most subtle yet meaningful things that many men secretly crave.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Bold smile<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A bold, genuine smile is something many men find incredibly attractive. It&rsquo;s warm, disarming, and often reveals a person&rsquo;s natural confidence. For some, the brightness of a smile or the way someone&rsquo;s face lights up when they&rsquo;re happy creates an instant emotional pull.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s less about perfect features and more about the energy and openness a smile brings into a moment.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Offer a sincere smile when you feel comfortable, especially in moments of connection, and let your natural warmth show without forcing anything.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>2. Being submissive<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-114534\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Busy-City-Street-at-Night.png\" alt=\"Busy City Street at Night\" width=\"804\" height=\"536\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some men enjoy when a partner shows softness or receptiveness in intimate moments, especially when it&rsquo;s part of a dynamic both people genuinely enjoy. It&rsquo;s not about dominance or ego, but about trust, comfort, and the willingness to explore different energies together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many men appreciate a strong, confident woman who can occasionally relax into a more yielding role in the bedroom only if that feels authentic and consensual for both partners.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Communicate your comfort levels openly, explore softer energies only if they feel natural to you, and prioritize consent and mutual desire in every intimate moment.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/submissive-in-a-relationship\/\" title=\"How to Be Submissive in a Relationship: 21 Practical Ways\">How to Be Submissive in a Relationship: 21 Practical Ways<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>3. Sexy voice<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A softer or more playful tone can feel incredibly alluring to some men. A lower, slower voice or a mischievous expression can create an intimate atmosphere that feels charged in the best way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s often the combination of tone, facial expression, and emotional connection that makes these moments feel exciting.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Play with tone gently when you feel safe and playful, letting your voice naturally soften or slow without trying to imitate something that isn&rsquo;t you.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>4. Crinkles on nose<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For some men, the little crinkle someone gets while laughing is irresistibly cute. It adds personality, warmth, and a glimpse of genuine joy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These tiny, unfiltered expressions can make a person feel especially real and endearing.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Allow yourself to laugh fully, without worrying about how you look, and let those natural expressions shine through in comfortable moments.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>5. Being present<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being truly present can be surprisingly intimate. When someone puts their phone down, listens with intention, and stays engaged, it creates a sense of connection that many men deeply appreciate.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><!--StartFragment --><span class=\"cf0\">[<\/span><span class=\"cf0\">research_highlight<\/span><span class=\"cf0\"> content=&rsquo;<\/span><!--EndFragment -->A<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/5806610_Factors_that_Influence_Sexual_Arousal_in_Men_A_Focus_Group_Study\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">study<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> explored sexual responses of men through focus groups, revealing diverse physical and emotional cues for arousal. Participants described desire&ndash;arousal connections as complex and influenced by many factors. Findings show significant individual variability and may support improved models of sexual response and gender-related discussions.<!--StartFragment --><span class=\"cf0\">&lsquo;][\/<\/span><span class=\"cf0\">research_highlight<\/span><span class=\"cf0\">]<\/span><!--EndFragment --><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Feeling heard and valued can be incredibly attractive, especially when attention is so often divided in daily life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/jenni-jacobsen\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dr. Jacobsen<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> says,<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Something as simple as putting your phone down and listening as he speaks can make him feel like you&rsquo;re truly present.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Put distractions aside during conversations, make eye contact, and offer your attention in a way that feels genuine and unrushed.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/being-present-in-a-relationship\/\" title=\"15 Practical Tips on Being Present in a Relationship\">15 Practical Tips on Being Present in a Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>6. Cherries<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sensual imagery can be a turn-on for some men, and foods like cherries or strawberries have long been associated with flirtation and playfulness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The way someone eats or interacts with these fruits can feel teasing or seductive, especially when paired with eye contact or a playful tone. It&rsquo;s less about the fruit itself and more about the mood it creates.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> If you enjoy playful teasing, use small, flirty gestures with food during relaxed moments to create a light and sensual vibe.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>7. Confidence with humility<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Confidence paired with humility is something many men find deeply appealing. Feeling comfortable in your own skin, without needing constant reassurance, creates a grounded and inviting energy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At the same time, staying humble and kind keeps that confidence from feeling overwhelming. This blend often makes a woman feel both strong and approachable.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Embrace your strengths, speak kindly to yourself, and let your confidence show naturally while staying warm, grounded, and open.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>8. Maintaining contact<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-114532\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/resting-on-shoulder.png\" alt=\"resting on shoulder\" width=\"804\" height=\"536\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consistent, warm communication can be a major turn-on for some men. Reaching out, staying engaged, and showing clear interest often builds connection and trust.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Eye contact also plays a powerful role; when someone holds a gaze with genuine curiosity or affection, it creates an intimate moment that can feel magnetic.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Send thoughtful messages, initiate conversations occasionally, and maintain gentle, steady eye contact during in-person interactions when you feel comfortable.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/open-communication-in-marriage\/\" title=\"12 Key Tips to Promote Open Communication in a Relationship\">12 Key Tips to Promote Open Communication in a Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>9. Dancing and humming<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Seeing someone dance or hum while going about their day can feel incredibly charming. There&rsquo;s something captivating about a person who moves freely, looks relaxed, and enjoys simple moments.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether she&rsquo;s cooking, cleaning, or just moving to a song stuck in her head, that effortless joy can draw many men in.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Let yourself move freely when you&rsquo;re happy, dance a little while getting ready, or hum along to music without worrying about being perfect or polished.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this TED Talk where Dr. John Gottman shares how decades of scientific research revealed the key patterns behind lasting love, showing that calm, trust, and commitment form the foundation of strong, enduring relationships:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/-uazFBCDvVw?si=cd_FxYXExIwI0adY\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Tan lines<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some men find tan lines visually appealing because they highlight contrast and shape in a subtle, natural way. It can create an unexpected hint of intrigue or playfulness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/articles\/PMC10426894\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">preferences vary<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, these small details often stand out simply because they feel unedited and real.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> If you naturally get tan lines, don&rsquo;t feel pressured to hide them; embrace them as part of your natural look without changing anything deliberately.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>11. Modesty<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A touch of modesty can feel attractive to some men, not because of rules about showing skin, but because of the mix of confidence and vulnerability it conveys.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When someone is flirtatious yet still a bit shy, it creates a dynamic that feels sweet, genuine, and emotionally intimate.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>What you can do:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Let your flirtation unfold at your own pace, allowing moments of shyness or softness to come through naturally when you feel connected.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-feel-more-confident-in-relationship\/\" title=\"20 Things You Can Do To Feel More Confident In A Relationship\">20 Things You Can Do To Feel More Confident In A Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Understanding-desire-gently\"><\/span><b>Understanding desire gently<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding what turns men on often has less to do with grand gestures and more to do with the small, sincere moments that make a connection feel real. <\/span><b>These subtle things create warmth, spark curiosity, and quietly build intimacy in ways that feel natural and human.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And isn&rsquo;t it comforting to know that so much of attraction grows from simple presence, kindness, and authenticity?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you show up as yourself, with softness, confidence, and a little playfulness, it often speaks louder than anything else&hellip; and that&rsquo;s where genuine desire begins to unfold.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Understanding what turns men on often goes far beyond the obvious. In fact, the things that stay with them, the moments they remember, the gestures that shift something inside, are usually subtle, quiet, and unexpectedly meaningful. It might be the way someone listens, the softness in a look, or a tiny spark of playfulness that appears when two people feel safe around each other. And isn&rsquo;t it interesting how the smallest things can have the biggest impact? Men may not always say it out loud, but they notice emotional warmth, confidence that feels natural, and a connection that builds slowly <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":114533,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[31],"tags":[2519],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57630"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=57630"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57630\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":114535,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57630\/revisions\/114535"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/114533"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=57630"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=57630"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=57630"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}