{"id":57605,"date":"2018-10-10T09:41:26","date_gmt":"2018-10-10T09:41:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/marriage-expectations-vs-reality\/"},"modified":"2025-07-04T15:56:09","modified_gmt":"2025-07-04T15:56:09","slug":"marriage-expectations-vs-reality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/marriage-expectations-vs-reality\/","title":{"rendered":"Expectations From Marriage vs. Reality: 3 Steps to Deal With Them"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Before I got married, I had this dream of what my marriage would be like. A few weeks before the wedding, I started making schedules, calendars, and spreadsheets, because I had planned to have this extremely organized life with my new husband.<\/span><\/p>\n

After walking down the aisle, I was more than confident that everything was going to go exactly according to plan. <\/span><\/p>\n

Two date nights a week, which days are cleaning days, which days are laundry days, I thought I had the whole thing figured out. I then quickly realized that sometimes life has its own path and schedule.<\/span><\/p>\n

My husband’s work schedule quickly became crazy, the laundry started piling up, and date nights slowly dwindled away because sometimes there just wasn’t enough time in one day, let alone a week.<\/span><\/p>\n

All of this affected our marriage in a negative way, and the “honeymoon phase” quickly ended as the reality of our lives sunk in.<\/span><\/p>\n

Irritation and tension were high between us. My husband and I like to call these feelings “growing pains”.<\/span><\/p>\n

Growing pains is what we refer to as the “knots” in our marriage – when things are a bit difficult, a little uncomfortable, and irritating.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

However, the good thing about growing pains is that you eventually grow, and the pain stops!<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Marriage expectations vs. reality<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

It’s no secret that marriage can be a difficult, often challenging experience. And while expectations can be high or there could be unrealistic expectations in a marriage, reality often falls short.<\/span><\/p>\n

According to <\/span>Maggie Martinez<\/span><\/a>, LCSW:<\/span><\/p>\n

Unspoken or unrealistic expectations after marriage can lead to frustration. Healthy partnerships grow when couples communicate openly about their needs and dreams.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Here are four common expectation vs. reality examples that don’t always pan out in real life.<\/span><\/p>\n