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Either it is a new relationship<\/a> or a friendship, the beginning feels like the entrance to heaven.<\/span><\/p>\n As time goes on, like within a week or so, that exact heaven feels like hell. And you fail to decide the right course of action – what to do and what not to do.<\/span><\/p>\n At one side, you think of getting rid of him, feeling like you had enough and it’s time to end the whole thing. On the other hand, as soon as he calls, all your getting-rid-of-it-thinking flushes down the drain, and you talk like nothing ever happened. <\/span><\/p>\n This is because you do not want to appear weak. But deep down, it does affect you, and you are helpless to do anything. And, it’s not a onetime thing. Instead, you discover a repeated pattern – a non-ending cycle whenever you fall in love.<\/span><\/p>\n But, from now on, you won’t get caught in emotional chaos anymore. There are seven reasons why you always screw-up at relationships even after doing each right thing. These are the same reasons responsible for pushing your crush away from you.<\/span><\/p>\n Here’s the list of mistakes you often make unconsciously to push him away – <\/span><\/p>\n How many people are there in your life who keep giving you suggestions? Of course, they are doing it for your welfare, but you know well what’s good and what’s not. So, you pick what’s right for you and discard the others. And that keeps your relationships just fine.<\/span><\/p>\n But, when it comes to die-hard crush, there is neither right nor wrong. Your heart keeps following your crush’s suggestions because you want to impress them and that is exactly where you are wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n Personal example –<\/p>\n One of my best friends keeps suggesting to me what to wear. And I do follow him. But as I have noticed, whenever I wear what he wants, he neither <\/span>pays attention<\/span><\/a> to me nor compliments my looks. It doesn’t affect me much because he is just a friend. But, for the sake of my research, I do like to conduct experiments. <\/span><\/p>\n So, one day I wore clothes that looked best on my body and something I enjoyed wearing. As soon as I met him, he was like wow, you look hot today. Ooh la la, there I got my answer.<\/span><\/p>\n From that day, I made a note of doing what I want and what suits best on my body instead of walking on others opinions, even if he is someone I love.<\/span><\/p>\n “The more you follow others, the more you lose your own identity. So stop getting in the trap of impressing others and be your true self.”<\/span><\/p>\n The simple reason behind this is others don’t know you, the way you know yourself, since years. <\/span><\/p>\n Personal example –<\/p>\n One day, my friend was complaining about someone she had a crush on. She and her crush are childhood friends. During the last two years, they got close with each other as they were both alone in their lives. Her problems started from there on. She always complains about how they were going out frequently before all it started. And now, all she hears from him is – I am too busy. <\/span><\/p>\n Still, she is proud of him because he calls once in a week to check out how she is doing.<\/span><\/p>\n How should I tell her that he is calling you once in a week to make sure that you don’t go anywhere, no matter how much he avoids you. Or worst, take you for granted<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n Here’s how it works. Let’s say I earn $100 within 1 hour, and it quickly covers my expenses for a week. What’s the need to earn more? Same goes in a relationship. When he catches you being satisfied with so little, he thinks like what’s the need to offer more?<\/span><\/p>\n Generally, it happens in the case when he is sure that you are free all the time and don’t go out much which makes him think that you are available for him. We are going to discuss it soon. <\/span><\/p>\n Personal example –<\/p>\n It has been a year since I am at home or let’s say jobless. I used to cancel some plans made by friends and my crush, to take care of my responsibilities at my job. I was going to the gym regularly as well and wasn’t ready to cancel it for anyone. And they were making those plans as per my schedule and their too. What an excellent way to keep relationships in rhythm.<\/span><\/p>\n Trust me, in those days, I was receiving great respect from my friends as well as my crush.<\/span><\/p>\n Now, since I am at home, I can feel that respect doesn’t exist anymore. Not because I left the job, but because I stopped living my life. I ended going to the gym, library, or other public places. As soon as, I realized this, I decided to get back on track. I started working out, picked up my writing habit, and other activities. <\/span><\/p>\n All these are a combination of what’s necessary for my life. But this wasn’t enough to get my respect back. There is more. <\/span><\/p>\n Personal example –<\/p>\n I was always said “Yes” to plans, timings, and selected days made by my friends. I was quick to cancel all my plans just to spend some time with friends and my crush. This behavior dragged me to the taken-for-granted zone. After a few months of non-respect, things started making sense to me.<\/span><\/p>\n From that moment onwards, I learned to say “No” to my friends and be committed to my plans. For e.g. I never cancel my gym just to be with anyone. Also, I put fix hours for my writing, determined enough not to look anywhere else.<\/span><\/p>\n To make sure I am not making a mistake. I recently performed the same thing on my best friend. Not forcefully, but the right moment just arrived. He wanted to meet me on Saturday, and I told him I am busy till Sunday because my mom needs me. I explained the genuine reason. On Sunday night, I received a message from him telling me how much he is missing me. <\/span><\/p>\n Something came out of the blue for me. If someone wants to go out with me, we together decide to meet on a decided day based on mutual convenience.<\/span><\/p>\n Note: Don’t use this technique to manipulate someone as it will just backfire. Do it when there is a genuine reason. <\/span><\/p>\n Personal example –<\/p>\n<\/span>1. You start working on his opinions<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>2. You give too much, and you are happy with too little in return<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>3. You don’t have your own life<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>4. You cancel your plans to be with him<\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\n<\/span>5. Forget about your boundaries<\/span><\/h2>\n