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With women being encouraged more in today’s society to have a voice and stand up for equal rights, speaking your truth has never been so ‘en vogue.’ At the 2018 Golden Globes, Oprah Winfrey triggered a debate about the potential power versus the dangers of expressing your truth with her remark, “<\/span>What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have.”<\/span><\/p>\n To speak the truth in love could mean expressing how you are feeling about your relationship or perhaps your work or friendship. It could also include voicing your opinion about something you feel strongly about or sharing your story and revealing past problems that may have been difficult or painful.<\/span><\/p>\n In my personal experience and from working with clients, speaking from the heart can undoubtedly help your relationship thrive. <\/span><\/p>\n When you choose to show up without holding back certain feelings or parts of yourself, it can help create an environment where <\/span>you feel accepted<\/span><\/a> for the person you really are. This is what I call ‘Relationship Freedom.’<\/span><\/p>\n However, some people seem to use the theory of ‘speaking your truth’ as a license to play the victim card or blame and criticize their partner for not coming up to their perfectionistic standards. <\/span><\/p>\n Similarly, others see it as an excuse to overly exert their opinion and take the stance that they are always ‘right,’ which can end up in domineering and controlling behavior and has the effect of stifling any <\/span>healthy relationship<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n As a result, there are ways that I recommend to speak your truth that will help in relationship growth as opposed to weakening it.<\/span><\/p>\n If something is bothering you, learn to speak your mind without fear. I tell my clients, ‘feel the fear and say it anyway.’ <\/span><\/p>\n You are a human being with emotions, and <\/span>allowing yourself to be vulnerable<\/span><\/a> is a way of strengthening the relationship to help create a deeper connection and enhance the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n Your partner is not responsible for your happiness and so telling the truth in a relationship that how unloved you feel and that it is their fault is to give your power away is not right. When you <\/span>take responsibility for yourself<\/span><\/a> and how you feel, your relationship can enjoy much greater freedom.<\/span><\/p>\n Taking full responsibility for your emotions will help you speak in a way that enables your vulnerability to open up your relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n If you are always saying things like “You are making me feel XYZ,” you will be playing the victim card, and this usually only serves to <\/span>elicit resentment from your partner<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n Use “I Statements” instead.<\/p>\n Saying, “I am feeling hurt right now” or “I realize I felt scared at that moment when XYZ happened, and I did not manage the situation as well as I could have done” does not point the finger of blame at your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n It helps to create a space where both of you can be human beings with emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n If your partner tries to deny or dismiss how you feel, then you have every right to set a boundary in and say, “Please do not dismiss my feelings.” <\/span><\/p>\n However, this does presuppose that you have taken full responsibility for your expression, as described above.<\/span><\/p>\n When you are confident in your worth and know your value, it is much easier to speak up with assertions. Whatever happens, you always have the knowledge that you have your own back.<\/span><\/p>\n In the video below, Adia Gooden questions, “What would you stop doing if you knew you were already worthy?” She talks about forgiveness, self-acceptance, connecting with supportive people for realizing your self-worth. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<\/span>What does speaking your truth mean?<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Can truth help you to attract more love?<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Truth is not a license to play the victim<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>How to speak your truth to strengthen your relationship<\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\n1. Say what is on your mind<\/b><\/h3>\n
2. Take full responsibility for your well-being<\/b><\/h3>\n
3. Using vulnerability as a strength vs. weakness<\/b><\/h3>\n
4. Know that you are always entitled to your feelings<\/b><\/h3>\n
5. Work on your feelings of self-worth<\/b><\/h3>\n