

{"id":54300,"date":"2020-08-21T10:40:11","date_gmt":"2020-08-21T10:40:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=54300"},"modified":"2023-07-04T08:27:56","modified_gmt":"2023-07-04T08:27:56","slug":"ways-to-build-positive-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-build-positive-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"20 Ways to Build Positive Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-54303\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/ways-to-build-positive-relationships.jpg\" alt=\"Young Happy Love Desired Couple Kissing In The Kitchen And Smiling In Love\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A positive relationship is not one that is necessarily positive all of the time but is in a healthy state and exhibits positive habits, including <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/16-principles-for-effective-communication\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">effective communication<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, honesty, boundaries, and trust.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A positive relationship or positive marriage doesn&rsquo;t mean you&rsquo;re happy all of the time, or everything is perfect, or you never feel sadness or anger. It means you and your partner work together to maintain positivity and love each other even when things are rough.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Building a positive relationship takes effort, time, and consistency, but you can do it!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Any relationship can become a positive one with some work and inculcating healthy habits.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re looking to build positive relationships or wondering &ldquo;how to have a positive relationship,&rdquo; read on for some ways to add more positivity in your relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1-Show-up-fully-and-be-present\"><\/span>1. Show up fully and be present<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A positive relationship requires you to be present, aware, and invested. Put down your phone, stop scrolling, engage with your partner, and pay attention.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s hard to have a healthy, positive relationship if you aren&rsquo;t present. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/social-media-effects-on-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Social media and other distractions should be secondary to your relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2-Consider-using-%E2%80%9Cwe%E2%80%9D-instead-of-%E2%80%9CI%E2%80%9D-or-%E2%80%9Cyou%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>2. Consider using &ldquo;we&rdquo; instead of &ldquo;I&rdquo; or &ldquo;you&rdquo;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Staying positive in a relationship is a lot more natural when you feel like your relationship is strong and united.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Using, we indicate that both you and your partner are a unified front that moves forward together. We are an important term. See if you can swap &ldquo;I&rdquo; and &ldquo;you&rdquo; for &ldquo;we&rdquo;!<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-Learn-to-listen-actively\"><\/span>3. Learn to listen actively<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Active listening is an essential skill in ALL relationships, whether personal, professional, or otherwise. If you want to focus on relationships and maintain them&hellip; learn to<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/positivepsychology.com\/active-listening\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> listen actively.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hearing and seeing your partner (or boss, mom, best friend, etc.) can change your relationships for good.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4-Seek-to-truly-understand-the-other-person\"><\/span>4. Seek to truly understand the other person<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Staying positive in a relationship is a lot easier for both parties when there is a genuine desire to &ldquo;understand&rdquo; the other person.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if you never truly comprehend the other person or their emotions and experiences, you can <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-deepen-your-connection-with-your-partner\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">deepen the connection<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> by trying to understand before you seek to be understood.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-Set-healthy-boundaries\"><\/span>5. Set healthy boundaries<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-54304\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/set-healthy-boundaries.jpg\" alt=\"Beautiful Young Couple Dating At Home On Teriss\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Part of learning how to build positive relationships is learning to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/hr.uky.edu\/sites\/www.uky.edu.hr\/files\/wellness\/images\/Conf14_Boundaries.pdf\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">build healthy boundaries<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Boundaries might feel scary at first; you may worry about what your partner will think or feel. Ultimately, by <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/boundaries-in-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">setting clear boundaries<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> about what you need or don&rsquo;t, you will feel more positive about what you&rsquo;re getting in your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This improves the overall health and wellbeing of your relationship and who doesn&rsquo;t love a healthy relationship!<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6-Respect-a-person%E2%80%99s-%E2%80%9Calone%E2%80%9D-time-and-need-for-space\"><\/span>6. Respect a person&rsquo;s &ldquo;alone&rdquo; time and need for space.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This one is pretty simple. Give your partner time with themselves and their friends and family alone if they desire it. Respecting their privacy and space is an essential factor for the success of your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Positive, healthy relationships require trust and letting each partner live their individual life fully so they can come back to the relationship refreshed. Don&rsquo;t try to control your partner&rsquo;s time and space.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7-Let-go-of-the-past\"><\/span>7. Let go of the past.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Shit happens. I know it hurts when your partner does something crappy but, if you&rsquo;ve chosen to stay with them anyway, then you need to LET IT GO.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one made you stay; you decided to. Why stay if you&rsquo;re only going to keep dredging up the past and damage your relationship. It&rsquo;s hard to build a positive relationship if you keep tearing it down. Get over it!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Also watch: How to move on, let go &amp; leave your past in the past.<\/b><br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/hIKFEkO3Qss\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8-Connect-with-your-partner%E2%80%99s-friends-and-family\"><\/span>8. Connect with your partner&rsquo;s friends and family<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-54305\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/connect-with-your-partners-friends-and-family.jpg\" alt=\"Happy Friends Playing Music And Enjoying Bonfire In Nature\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being able to spend time with your partner&rsquo;s friends and family is helpful for a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one likes to worry that their partner doesn&rsquo;t get along with their friends or family. It creates a lot of stress. So put in some effort here and see if you can connect and build positive relationships beyond your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>9. Physically connect, often<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Physical connection is a great healer (hello, make up sex!), even just touching, in general, can bring more positive energy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hold hands, brush by your partner&rsquo;s hair, massage their shoulders, or decrease physical proximity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are a million different <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/intimacy\/the-power-of-touch-in-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">ways you can physically connec<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">t, and it will do wonders for the energy in your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-Fight-fair\"><\/span>10. Fight fair<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fighting does not need to be ugly, screaming, name-calling, door slamming, and not talking for 3 days are counterproductive ways to deal with conflicts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having an argument can be done healthily and positively. You aren&rsquo;t always going to see eye-to-eye, but learn how to have those talks productively.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"11-Do-small-things-together\"><\/span>11. Do small things together<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A healthy and positive relationship doesn&rsquo;t require you to go on crazy trips, spend tons of money, or always do really big things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Building small habits into your daily lives is more important. Cook together, clean together, read the same books. It doesn&rsquo;t need to be a crazy activity, but find something you can connect over every day.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"12-Practice-acceptance-and-stop-trying-to-change-people\"><\/span>12. Practice acceptance and stop trying to change people<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can&rsquo;t change people. And why would you want to?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re with someone that you are constantly trying to change, ask yourself why. Didn&rsquo;t you get with that person because of who they are? Learn to practice acceptance of what you can and can&rsquo;t control.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"13-Be-a-shoulder-to-lean-on-stop-giving-advice-all-of-the-time\"><\/span>13. Be a shoulder to lean on (stop giving advice all of the time!)<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes partners just want us to listen and not offer solutions. If you&rsquo;re always trying to fix your partner or their problems, you may not be contributing to a healthy and positive relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try listening and responding to what your partner is saying and feeling instead of telling them what they can do.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"14-Be-responsible-for-yourself\"><\/span>14. Be responsible for yourself<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-54306\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/be-responsible-for-yourself.jpg\" alt=\"Young Couple Exercising Outdoor At The Park Together On Sunny Day\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you take care of yourself and don&rsquo;t expect the other person to do it all for you, it helps foster healthy and positive habits in your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Relying on someone else puts a lot of pressure on them! By showing up for yourself financially, professionally, and even emotionally, you can ease some of that pressure and build a positive relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"15-Speak-well-of-your-partner\"><\/span>15. Speak well of your partner<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the heat of a tense moment, we may want to say hurtful things about our partner. But, that moment of pain probably doesn&rsquo;t reflect what we think about our partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Practice speaking well about your partner, even during conflict. It can help you shift the way you&rsquo;re thinking about your partner, which will ultimately impact how you feel and behave.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It sounds like a great way to keep things positive!<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"16-Divide-responsibilities-equally\"><\/span>16. Divide responsibilities equally<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are a lot of responsibilities as an adult! Finances, cleaning, pets, work, etc. etc. etc. A healthy and positive relationship flourishes when we divide and conquer!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No partner is responsible for everything, and things go a lot more smoothly (and with less stress!) when we share the work.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"17-Ask-your-partner-%E2%80%9Cwhat-do-you-need-from-me%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>17. Ask your partner, &ldquo;what do you need from me?&rdquo;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As humans, we&rsquo;re pretty selfish. It&rsquo;s in our DNA to worry about ourselves. After all, the only relationship that lasts forever is the one we have with ourselves!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Due to that, we are constantly seeking to get our needs met. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to do that, sometimes it comes at the cost of showing up for others in the way they need us.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try asking your partner what they need from you, and fulfilling their request (if you can and want to!)<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"18-Stop-over-analyzing-your-relationship\"><\/span>18. Stop over analyzing your relationship<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All relationships ebb, and flow. A positive and healthy relationship is not perfect and happy all of the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you can accept and believe that, you can show up during the low times with a better mindset and help get the relationship back to normal.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"19-Practice-gratitude\"><\/span>19. Practice gratitude<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gratitude is one of the simplest and most effective ways to bring positivity in your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By identifying things, you are grateful for; you can see that there is always something worth celebrating. Use this technique daily with your partner to build and maintain a positive and healthy relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"20-Stay-positive-fun-and-playful-Keep-the-novelty-alive\"><\/span>20. Stay positive, fun, and playful! Keep the novelty alive!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Relationships are meant to add to our lives, not detract. By <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.extension.purdue.edu\/extmedia\/CFS\/CFS-745-W.pdf\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">increasing the positives<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you keep your relationship healthy and build momentum for an enjoyable experience for both you and your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Final words<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you have some tips on how to build positive relationships get out there and practice! Habits take time and consistency to build, so get started now!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your relationship is in a fragile state and needs more help, don&rsquo;t hesitate to take help from a relationship coach, therapist, or counselor to work on it!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can improve your relationship with the right tools and help!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A positive relationship is not one that is necessarily positive all of the time but is in a healthy state and exhibits positive habits, including effective communication, honesty, boundaries, and trust. A positive relationship or positive marriage doesn&rsquo;t mean you&rsquo;re happy all of the time, or everything is perfect, or you never feel sadness or anger. It means you and your partner work together to maintain positivity and love each other even when things are rough. Building a positive relationship takes effort, time, and consistency, but you can do it! Any relationship can become a positive one with some work <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":704,"featured_media":54303,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[2567],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54300"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/704"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54300"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54300\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":87394,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54300\/revisions\/87394"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/54303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}