{"id":54039,"date":"2020-08-12T12:31:41","date_gmt":"2020-08-12T12:31:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=54039"},"modified":"2023-07-04T10:22:50","modified_gmt":"2023-07-04T10:22:50","slug":"how-to-strengthen-your-relationship-connection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-strengthen-your-relationship-connection\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Strengthen Your Relationship Connection- Expert Advice"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"How<\/p>\n

Through the stages of marriage, one theme is ever-present: the connection between the partners.<\/span><\/p>\n

At the very beginning of a relationship, there is always some type of connection – whether that be an immediate locking of the eyes or a more gradual attachment, which grows over months or years.<\/span><\/p>\n

The newness of relationship connection is like the first signs of spring, with buds barely open and the sounds of birds’ mating songs. It’s exciting!<\/span><\/p>\n

The pheromones are working their magic, and the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine are bringing opulence to every moment the couple spends together. The relationship connection is palpable and builds up each time they laugh together or share a pleasurable experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

Often this delightful time of being “<\/span>in love<\/span><\/a>” will last only for a few months. Sad to say, it may take a nosedive as the couple embarks on wedding plans.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are so many decisions to be made – the vows, the ceremony, <\/span>the venue<\/span><\/a>, and the reception, the flowers, the food and beverages, the music – without even mentioning the guest list.<\/span><\/p>\n

Who will sit next to whom? How will the in-laws tolerate one another? Who will feel left out, which friends simply cannot be accommodated?<\/span><\/p>\n

Wedding plans are perhaps the first crucial test of a couple’s ability to make decisions together and to overcome impasses in the process.<\/b><\/p>\n

But as <\/span>marriage and family therapists<\/span><\/a>, we often feel that there is too much emphasis on the wedding and not enough on premarital counseling.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fostering relationship connection<\/strong><\/p>\n

With proper perspective and balance, planning for the wedding can be a crash course in communication and <\/span>decision making for the couple<\/span><\/a> and their families and friends.<\/span><\/p>\n

The honeymoon is another opportunity for the couple to fine-tune their skills in connecting with each other. Even though the partners may have lived together beforehand, actually <\/span>being married<\/b> puts a different psychological slant on their relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

How will they handle their different needs to spend time together versus time apart? What compromises will they make on recreational and relaxing activities during this time?<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps this experience is the first “stopover” on their journey of connectedness. Feeling connected to the other person doesn’t just happen, though. <\/span><\/p>\n

So, how to strengthen your relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n

If you want to feel more connected with your partner, it takes many skills as follows:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>1. Listening to your partner<\/span><\/h2>\n

If you are feeling a loss of connection in your relationship, try <\/span>listening to your partner<\/span><\/a>. It truly is one of the effective ways to connect with your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

And this is not only using one’s ears – <\/span>it is listening with one’s whole body<\/b>!<\/span><\/p>\n

It is seeing subtle changes in facial expression; hearing differences in volume and in the tone of voice, experiencing the other person’s energy; and knowing when to be still.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>2. Asking helpful questions<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Beautiful<\/p>\n

Open-ended questions, such as, “What is that like for you?” draw the other person out and <\/span>allow them to express themselves<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

This, in turn, builds their self-confidence and strengthens your relationship connection. (Questions which only require a Yes, No answer shut out your partner.)<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>3. Offering to review a difficult scenario<\/span><\/h2>\n

In order to intensify your relationship connection, you can try helping your partner through a challenging scenario.<\/span><\/p>\n

A partner can do this by role-playing.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, if your spouse is going to be interviewing for a new job or a promotion, you can assist by making a list of likely questions and playing the interviewer’s role.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>4. Simply being there at a difficult time<\/span><\/h2>\n

Perhaps your spouse likes to fish, so going fishing is a great idea for sharing your spouse’s energy. <\/span><\/p>\n

This could prove to be a good break from the challenges that they are facing. Moreover, they would appreciate your thoughtful gesture.<\/span><\/p>\n

You do not always need words to prove your relationship connection. You can let them know wordlessly that you are there for them in their hard time.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>5. Joining in some playful activity<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Photo<\/p>\n

Playing together<\/span><\/a> is simply incomparable in bringing about feelings of closeness and reinforcing your relationship connection.<\/span><\/p>\n

Factors causing a loss of connection in relationship<\/strong><\/p>\n

The connection is at the heart of every relationship that works. It is even more powerful than the experience of having one another’s back!<\/span><\/p>\n

This latter expression definitely connotes the ideas of mutual protection and advocacy. It is absolutely vital that the partners offer each other <\/span>a strong sense of security<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

However, let us not forget that security\/insecurity is fear-based, while <\/span>the connection is based on the freedom to be with the other.<\/b><\/p>\n

In current Western society, <\/span>the connection is under threat<\/b> by production-based standards: <\/span><\/p>\n