

{"id":53853,"date":"2020-08-07T07:46:05","date_gmt":"2020-08-07T07:46:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=53853"},"modified":"2024-07-01T12:21:02","modified_gmt":"2024-07-01T12:21:02","slug":"bpd-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/bpd-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Conspicuous Signs and Symptoms of BPD Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-53857\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/conspicuous-signs-and-symptoms-of-bpd-relationships.jpg\" alt=\"Image Of Man Apologizing His Girlfriend After Quarrel\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Borderline personality disorder or BPD relationships are often filled with emotional struggle, chaos, and conflict. So, if you are dating someone with a borderline personality disorder, you already know this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are probably wondering how to deal with someone with BPD, so your relationship is happier and more peaceful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Loving someone with a borderline personality disorder differs from loving someone with intimacy issues, as BPD is a persistent personality trait that causes major distress.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are dating someone with BPD or considering dating them, investigate more about the effects it has on relationships. When you have more information, you can prepare better and help your partner manage the symptoms.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\">Grady Shumway<\/a>, LMHC, says,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding BPD and its impact on relationships is crucial for fostering a healthier dynamic. Educate yourself about the disorder, seek professional guidance, and develop coping strategies to support both your partner and the relationship.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-Borderline-personality-disorder\"><\/span>What is Borderline personality disorder?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Based on the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychiatry.org\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">American Psychiatric Association<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (APA), borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that includes difficulty managing emotions and behavior, unstable moods, patterns of erratic relationships, and issues with self-image.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It interferes with how you see yourself, others, and the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Signs-Symptoms-of-BPD\"><\/span>Signs &amp; Symptoms of BPD<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-53858\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/signs-symptoms-of-bpd.jpg\" alt=\"Young Emotionally Unstable Woman With Bipolar Disorder\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being in a relationship with someone who has BPD can be quite challenging. BPD symptoms in relationships usually intensify over time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Therefore, at the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relationship-advice-for-couples-who-are-just-starting\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">beginning of the relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you might see glances of it, and more as the relationship becomes more committed. Some of the key symptoms include:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Extreme mood swings<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An overwhelming fear of rejection and abandonment<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Black and white view of the world and others<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rapid changes in thinking someone is perfect to see them as evil<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Self-harm and attempts of suicide<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Difficulty seeing other&rsquo;s perspective and understanding their emotions<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Impulsive and risky behaviors (unprotected sex, gambling, drug abuse, etc.)<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Severe changes in self-image ranging from worthless to worthy<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Acting out<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"BPD-effects-on-relationships\"><\/span>BPD effects on relationships<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/guilfordjournals.com\/doi\/10.1521\/pedi_2018_32_388\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">confirms that borderline personality disorder in relationships means a more stormy, conflicting, and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/end-a-dysfunctional-relationship-cycle\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">dysfunctional relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> compared to a healthy one.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As expected, the more severe the symptoms, the more dissatisfaction a borderline personality disorder marriage brings. So, what are some concrete effects to look out for?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&rsquo;s explore what to expect in BPD relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Frequent emotional rollercoaster<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Since emotional instability is one of the critical features, living with someone with BPD means <\/span><b>expecting a rapid shift in mood and emotions daily<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">BPD and relationships equal emotional rollercoasters. They alternate between feeling insecure about your love and feeling smothered by it and withdrawing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Grady Shumway further adds,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Living with someone with BPD often entails handling frequent emotional highs and lows, characterized by rapid shifts in mood and insecurity within the relationship. Understanding these fluctuations can help foster empathy and better navigate the challenges of the relationship.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><b>2. Walking on eggshells<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After experiencing several episodes of severe emotional outbursts or conflicts, you begin to dread the next one.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Borderline personality disorder love relationships drive you to be extremely careful to avoid triggering a fight. However, even the slightest event can do this, one you can&rsquo;t often predict.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Being tested constantly<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Due to their deep-seated fear of abandonment, they will test you over and over again to check if you are going to leave them. Usually, this means they will expect you to accept them at their worst, while at the same time telling you to leave.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Being married to a man with a borderline personality disorder, or woman can feel as though they are pulling you closer with one hand, and pushing you away with the other.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Furthermore, when a borderline personality disorder ends a relationship, you are never sure if it might be another test to see what you will do and how much you will fight for them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Empathizing means experiencing the same<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">BPD relationships are so turbulent, among other things, because people with BPD tend to communicate what they are going predominantly non-verbally.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>To make sure that you understand them, they might lead you to experience a part of the suffering they feel.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are not always trying to hurt you on purpose. They need to feel understood, and this is how they know you do.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Distressing over frequent acting outs<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A deep sense of emptiness and darkness they deal with seldom gets the best of them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Managing those emotions becomes too much, and in an attempt to vent and process them, they act out by destroying things or engaging in self-destructive behaviors like cutting.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In BPD relationships as their partner, you can feel worried, confused, and scared when this happens.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Learning how to deal with borderline personality disorder girlfriend or boyfriend, especially in acting out, needs to be a collaborative effort. Explore together what could be helpful in those times and how to help them refrain from self-harm.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Dealing with impulsive behaviors<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/borderline-personality-disorder-and-sex-425370\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People with BPD can struggle with sexuality<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and in some cases, it is observed that they have more negative attitudes towards sex. They can often feel pressured into sex, so <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/start-sexual-communication\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">communicate thoroughly<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> about boundaries and have a safe word.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moreover, <\/span><b>one of the key symptoms is sexual impulsivity in times of emotional turbulence<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This means borderline personality disorder relationships and cheating could come hand in hand, although not always.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are other forms of impulsivity, such as overspending or <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">substance abuse<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in BPD relationships. This can cause a great deal of stress for the partner since, in times of emotional eruptions, they tend to be more impulsive and unpredictable.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Effects intensify over time<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The more intimate and important you become to a person with BPD, the more severe their fear of abandonment becomes. BPD relationship stages start with the &lsquo;honeymoon phase&rsquo; where you feel irreplaceable, and they idealize you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, the black and white view of the world leads you to become a villain, eventually.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Therefore, borderline personality disorder dating can feel immensely different in the beginning, middle, and end of the relationship. Borderline personality disorder relationships break up can be especially ugly.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ending a marriage with a borderline personality disorder will confirm their worst fears of abandonment, and they will attempt everything to keep you, including threatening with suicide.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-get-help-if-your-partnerspouse-is-struggling-with-BPD\"><\/span>How to get help if your partner\/spouse is struggling with BPD?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-53859\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/how-to-get-help-if-your-partner-spouse-is-struggling-with-bpd.jpg\" alt=\"Angry Man, Pointing Her Finger Against Her Wife, Intimidates, Unhappy Married Couple, Relationships Concept\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">BPD relationships can endure when both parties commit to working on understanding and managing the symptoms. Besides couples therapy, the person with BPD should attend individual therapy as well.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Therapy helps clients with BPD learn how to live with ambivalence and make sense of the world with &lsquo;grey areas&rsquo; as well.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The most effective therapy for BPD is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/dialectical-behavior-therapy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dialectical Behavior Therap<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">y (DBT). As a branch of Cognitive Behaviour therapy, it helps clients learn to:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Process emotions using logic and reason,<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uncover emotion-managing strategies<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Decrease dichotomous thinking (black and white)<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understand and express their emotions better and through verbal channels<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Learn impulse control<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Manage self-destructive behaviors.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p>Also Watch:<br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/KSPhc2NJA2Q\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Be-prepared-for-BPD-relationships\"><\/span>Be prepared for BPD relationships.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are or getting ready to be in a BPD relationship, get informed before you get involved. In the honeymoon phase of the relationship, you will hardly notice any symptoms.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>However, when you become more intimate and significant to them, their fear of abandonment will re-surface and cause different effects.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They will test you, push you away while executing you to embrace them, and drag you into suffering they feel so they know you understand their pain better.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">BPD relationships will cause a great deal of stress due to numerous emotional rollercoasters, acting outs, and impulsive behaviors. Albeit, BPD can have a positive outcome if partners commit to therapy and work on their relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Furthermore, it is recommended for the person with BPD to have individual therapy as well. The aforementioned can increase the likelihood of a positive prognosis.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Borderline personality disorder or BPD relationships are often filled with emotional struggle, chaos, and conflict. So, if you are dating someone with a borderline personality disorder, you already know this. You are probably wondering how to deal with someone with BPD, so your relationship is happier and more peaceful. Loving someone with a borderline personality disorder differs from loving someone with intimacy issues, as BPD is a persistent personality trait that causes major distress. If you are dating someone with BPD or considering dating them, investigate more about the effects it has on relationships. When you have more information, you <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":53857,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[93],"tags":[2721],"class_list":["post-53853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-health","tag-understanding-psychological-disorders","has_thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53853"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53853\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":102648,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53853\/revisions\/102648"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53857"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}