{"id":53711,"date":"2020-08-05T05:58:49","date_gmt":"2020-08-05T05:58:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=53711"},"modified":"2023-02-02T06:43:50","modified_gmt":"2023-02-02T06:43:50","slug":"long-distance-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/long-distance-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"20 Tips for a Healthy Long Distance Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Long<\/p>\n

Many people would say they wouldn’t opt for long-distance marriage. That is before they fall for someone, and they feel they don’t have a choice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Studies show 75% of engaged couples were, at some point, in a long-distance relationship.<\/b><\/p>\n

Long-distance marriage might not be ideal or easy, especially if we talk about long-distance marriage with children. However, it can be more than worth the trouble when you are with the right person.<\/span><\/p>\n

To aid you on this journey, we have selected the top 20 advice for long-distance relationships you can use in the effort of making long-distance marriage work.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>1. Focus on communication quality<\/span><\/h2>\n

Interestingly, some <\/span>studies<\/span><\/a> show that long-distance couples may be more content with their communication than couples living together, most likely because they know its importance.<\/span><\/p>\n

Long-distance marriage problems usually have roots in communication<\/b>, the same as with any other relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hence, one of the keys to long-distance relationships is to be aware of the quality, troubling differences to in-person communication, and overcome them.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, if you don’t have a chance to snuggle before bedtime, think ahead, and send a thoughtful message. Little things like that go a long way.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>2. Sync your schedules as much as possible<\/span><\/h2>\n

Variations in work, and sleep schedules and time zone differences can burden the long-distance marriage quite a bit.<\/span><\/p>\n

To stay emotionally connected in a long-distance relationship, prioritize your schedules, so you are at your best when you talk to each other. Start by asking yourself when I can devote private, unrushed time to the conversation?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>3. Rely on more than tech<\/span><\/h2>\n

In the age of electronics, you might feel more connected to your loved one when <\/span>you disconnect from technology<\/span><\/a>. Write a letter, send a poem, arrange flower delivery to their work.<\/span><\/p>\n

How to keep a long-distance marriage alive? The answer is in the details like a spritz of favorite perfume in snail mail.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>4. Share “boring” daily details<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Composition<\/p>\n

Sometimes what we miss the most is a regular everyday routine where we share small, seemingly unimportant details. How to survive living apart from your spouse?<\/span><\/p>\n

Include each other in the daily routine, send them a text or a photo through the day, and keep each other updated.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>5. Avoid excessive communication<\/span><\/h2>\n

Sharing details daily is great, as long as it is not excessive. If you want to know how to make a long-distance marriage work, <\/span>focus on communicating regularly<\/span><\/a> without overwhelming each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

Send pieces of your day, without oversharing.<\/b> Keep some of the mystery alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>6. Be their partner, not a detective<\/span><\/h2>\n

There is a difference between check-in and checking up on someone. Take this piece of long-distance marriage advice<\/a> and make sure you are not investigating your spouse. They will figure it out, and they won’t like it.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>7. Talk about boundaries and ground rules<\/span><\/h2>\n

How to deal with long-distance? Through a lot of honest communicating, negotiating on needs, and compromising.<\/span><\/p>\n

What is accepted in your relationship, and what are <\/span>some boundaries no one can cross<\/span><\/a>? Flirting with others – yes or no? How many visits, and how do you determine who comes next? Is checking up on each other okay, and in what form?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>8. Prioritize trust<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Close<\/p>\n

Once you decide to be in a long-distance marriage, prioritize trusting each other. Trust is something that you build, and it is more than just sexual fidelity.<\/span><\/p>\n

Can you trust they will be there when you need them? Will they pick a phone when you are upset, and do they stick to plans made? If you both work on being a partner worth having, there is nothing to worry about.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>9. Keep expectations in check<\/span><\/h2>\n

Often, regardless of how much you need them or want them there, they won’t be able to show up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Long-distance relationships are romanticized in movies<\/b>, so make sure you are not basing your expectations on those couples. Verbalize your expectations so you can modify them if needed.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>10. Don’t idealize each other<\/span><\/h2>\n

Research<\/span><\/a> shows that people in long-distance relationships are more prone to idealize each other. In the absence of seeing them, make sure you are not creating an image they can never live up to in person.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>11. Stay honest<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Serene<\/p>\n

How to maintain a long-distance relationship with your husband or wife? Don’t avoid talking about the hard stuff until you are in person. Mention the elephant in the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

Studies show couples who use constructive <\/span>strategies for resolving disagreements<\/span><\/a> are less prone to breaking up over fights.<\/span><\/p>\n

Therefore, don’t skip on these hard conversations and miss the chance to work through it.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>12. Have a goal in mind<\/span><\/h2>\n

Everything is easier when we have a deadline. You prepare better and plan accordingly. Would anyone run marathons if they didn’t know how many miles they need to run?<\/span><\/p>\n

Talk about the future and where you want to be in 1, 3, or 5 years.<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/span>13. Look forward to time together<\/span><\/h2>\n

We don’t have to tell you this, as it comes so naturally. However, in a long-distance marriage, it is important to talk about the upcoming visit as it builds intimacy and excitement.<\/span><\/p>\n

Plan something fun together <\/span><\/a>so you can laugh and enjoy the days that always seem too short.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>14. Don’t over plan the visits<\/span><\/h2>\n

In a long-distance marriage, when you finally get to visit each other, it can feel as though there is no time to waste and stress over how to use it best.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, downtime is not wasted time. It gives you a chance to connect and be with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>15. Enjoy your time alone<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Listening<\/p>\n

Until that moment of the visit comes, enjoy the time you have with your family or friends. How to survive a long-distance marriage?<\/span><\/p>\n

Work on being happy alone, as well. <\/b>The more you’re able to enjoy your time apart, the easier it is to survive a long-distance marriage separateness.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, watch this video.<\/span>