![\"Closeup](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/how-to-say-no-to-divorce-and-yes-to-a-lasting-marriage.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The option to divorce has become normalized in contemporary culture. <\/b>Even the happiest of married couples have at one time or another fought so much that they considered getting a divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n This is contrary to our grandparents, who rode through the difficult martial moments, never giving up on marriage because back in those days, divorce was a rare and stigmatized event.<\/span><\/p>\n If there were issues in our grandparents’ relationship—and of course there were—they either worked them out or lived with them.<\/span><\/p>\n But they did not rush to a divorce court just because there were some challenging moments in their marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n If you and your spouse are thinking of divorce, but haven’t yet made a firm decision, read on.<\/span><\/p>\n We are going to outline the many good reasons not to get a divorce.<\/b> But let’s be clear that there are circumstances where a divorce is the right thing to do.<\/span><\/p>\n Here are some of the scenarios where divorce is a necessity:<\/span><\/p>\n In most other cases, you have a choice to divorce or not to divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n Before we explore saying no to divorce, let’s back up and look at what leads so many couples to divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n Unrealistic expectations from marriage.<\/b><\/p>\n So much of this is the media’s fault. Instagram feeds, showing us only the happiest of husbands and wives, in beautiful surroundings, with two gorgeous children.<\/span><\/p>\n We compare our own messy lives with what we are presented with on our screens, and we think “if only I had a different spouse… I’m sure my life would look like that!” This is so very harmful.<\/span><\/p>\n We need to readjust our view of what a marriage is: a union that will have its good days and bad days, but we commit to it because we made a solemn promise to keep each other safe and loved.<\/span><\/p>\n Looking to your spouse to be your everything.<\/b><\/p>\n This is another false idea of what marriage is.<\/span> No one person can be your everything…your soul mate, your in-house comedian, your doctor, your sports coach.<\/b><\/p>\n Of course, your spouse cannot do all this. This is not a reason to get divorced!<\/span><\/p>\n When you readjust your expectations to what marriage truly is—a binding relationship that is not always a fairy tale–saying no to divorce makes sense.<\/span><\/p>\n Divorced adults may tell you that “children get over it.” But ask anyone who witnessed their parent’s divorce, and they will tell you that the pain and emotional imbalance that they suffered after the split of their parents is real and present, even after the divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n Children of divorced parents are likely to mistrust others and have <\/b>difficulties with romantic relationships<\/b><\/a>.<\/b> When you consider the <\/span>negative impact divorce<\/span><\/a> will have on your children, it is easier to say no to divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n 2. Divorce is emotionally devastating.<\/b><\/p>\n No one, even the instigator of the divorce, comes out of a divorce unharmed. The <\/span>emotional consequences<\/span><\/a> of ending your shared life are long-lasting, with a loss of trust, confidence, the feeling of security, and safety.<\/span><\/p>\n Moreover, unresolved emotions can spill into their next relationships because they fear the same thing might happen again.<\/b><\/p>\n Instead, you can open up about your feeling with your spouse and use the challenging moments in your marital life to recommit to each other and not give up on your marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n If you succeed, it can be an incredibly bonding experience, making your union all the stronger.<\/span><\/p>\n 3. Who are you if not Mr or Mrs?<\/b><\/p>\n When considering whether to divorce or not to divorce, ask yourself who you would be if you were single?<\/span><\/p>\n Another reason not to get divorced is the loss of your identity. You have been Mr or Mrs so-and-so for so long. Who would you be if not the spouse of your spouse?<\/span><\/p>\n Especially in long term marriages. <\/span>Divorce throws your identity into question, leaving you feeling aimless and untethered.<\/b><\/p>\n Instead, work on your marriage and try to <\/span>minimize the co-dependency in your relationship<\/span><\/a>. This will make you a more amicable couple and also help you understand who you are as an individual.<\/span><\/p>\n Also watch:<\/strong> 7 Most Common Reasons for Divorce<\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>Divorce: Yes or No?<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Reasons not to get divorced<\/span><\/h2>\n
![\"Divorce](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/reasons-not-to-get-divorced.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/span>1.Negative impact on kids.<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n