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Have you ever been in a relationship that had you thinking that your partner had put a “spell” on you?<\/span><\/p>\n And not the good kind of spell, like one that allows you to have superpowers, but a spell that seemed to make you do things that you weren’t fully convinced were in line with who you viewed yourself to be?<\/span><\/p>\n Could it be that you were being manipulated in your relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n Manipulation in relationships is subtle, and because of this, it is difficult to see when it is happening.<\/span><\/p>\n What does manipulation mean in a relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n Psychological manipulation has been defined by social and clinical Ph.D. psychologist<\/span> Dr. Harriet Braiker<\/span><\/a> as a type of the social influence. Its goal is to change the behavior or perception of others using different tactics. <\/span><\/p>\n Manipulation refers to controlling or influencing someone to do something they do not want or not do something they want.<\/span><\/p>\n Have you often asked yourself, “Am I being manipulated?” but are not sure?<\/span><\/p>\n Manipulators use different <\/span>manipulation tactics in relationships<\/span> to manipulate the other person and influence their decisions. These can be the following manipulation techniques in relationships: <\/span><\/p>\n Who’s Pulling Your Strings?<\/span><\/a>: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life by Dr. Braiker gives exciting insights on recognizing and ending the manipulative cycle for good.<\/span><\/p>\n Manipulative behavior in relationships is part of an emotionally abusive pattern. The manipulator uses unhealthy relationship<\/a> manipulation tactics to control their partner.<\/span><\/p>\n It is hard for the person being manipulated to see or confront because it is not an overt abuse, visible to the outside world like physical violence. They only know that something is not quite right with how they are being treated.<\/span><\/p>\n Not sure how manipulation works? Let’s look at some of the signs of manipulation in marriage or relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n The need for total control is a blaring red flag and the number one sign of a manipulative relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n Does your partner often dictate when and where they will see you? Do you need to conform to their schedule, and when you suggest an alternative, do they pout, get upset, or freeze you out with the silent treatment?<\/span><\/p>\n This is an essential tip on <\/span>how to spot manipulation in relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n Inducing guilt into someone can cause a lot of distress. Guilt is known to<\/span> influence our conscious and unconscious minds<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n The manipulative partner uses guilt-tripping to make you do certain things that you might not be comfortable doing.<\/span><\/p>\n In a normal healthy relationship<\/a>, decisions are discussed and considered by the two of you. You spend time going over the pros and cons of any big life decision; In a manipulative relationship, the manipulator makes the decision unilaterally.<\/span><\/p>\n If you voice any disagreement, they will try to guilt you into agreeing with their decision.<\/span><\/p>\n For instance, the manipulator wants you to co-sign on their car loan. You don’t feel comfortable being responsible for such a big financial engagement, and you attempt to explain yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n The manipulator will refuse to listen to you, cutting you off with guilt-inducing statements, which is a classic sign of manipulation in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n Let’s say you have recognized the unhealthy nature of your relationship. You’ve decided to end it. But when you broach the subject of splitting up, your partner tells you that they will kill themselves if you leave.<\/span><\/p>\n Using the threat of suicide is, sadly, another typical behavior in a manipulative relationship.<\/span> It combines a heavy hit of control, fear, and guilt to get you to remain.<\/span><\/p>\n While it may be difficult for you, you must not be tricked by this threat. Tell your partner that if they feel suicidal, they should reach out to a suicide hotline or a therapist. You cannot be that person for them.<\/span><\/p>\n Gaslighting<\/span><\/a> is a verb used to describe someone manipulating someone psychologically to the point of questioning their own sanity. This is a terrible thing to do to someone you claim to love. It can make them feel disoriented, crazy, and emotionally unstable.<\/span><\/p>\n Signs of gaslighting include:<\/span><\/p>\n Research shows that<\/span> 1 in 4 women<\/span><\/a> and 1 in 9 men experience intimate abuse that results in fearfulness,<\/span> post-traumatic stress disorder<\/span><\/a>, and the use of a victim service such as a hotline. Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is commonly used to manipulate and control a spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n In a<\/span> Brazilian study<\/span><\/a> about the biggest factors in relationship unhappiness, jealousy was common for couples wanting to separate. Harmful jealousy doesn’t necessarily mean that a spouse is jealous of someone flirting with their partner. No, an abusive spouse can even be jealous of your friends and family.<\/span><\/p>\n Abusers and manipulators will often use the method of isolation as a means to control you.<\/span><\/p>\n They will cut you off from close friends, refuse to let you go out with them, and may even try to move you far away from where your family lives.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n When you don’t have the support of friends and family, it makes it more difficult to leave an abusive relationship. You don’t have the constant reassurance from loved ones that your partner is not treating you well.<\/span><\/p>\n According to <\/span>Grady Shumway<\/span><\/a>, LMHC:<\/span><\/p>\n This tactic is subtle at first but deeply damaging, as it erodes your sense of independence and self-worth. Recognizing the signs early and reconnecting with your support system is crucial for both safety and healing.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n The farther your spouse can get you from friends and family, the easier it will be for them to control you.<\/span><\/p>\n The oxytocin released from physical intimacy, be it holding hands, making love or just cuddling together on the couch, has been shown to<\/span> promote bonding<\/span><\/a> and making partners<\/span> more trusting<\/span><\/a> of one another.<\/span><\/p>\n Grady Shumway highlights that:<\/p>\n However, in toxic relationships, this bonding can be exploited. Affection is given or withheld as a way to manipulate behavior. When love becomes conditional, it’s no longer a source of comfort but a tool of control.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n These are beneficial qualities to spouses in a healthy relationship, but for those in a toxic one, these can actually do more harm than good. Trusting a partner who doesn’t have your best interest at heart and having an emotional attachment to them can make you stay in a toxic relationship longer than you should.<\/span><\/p>\n Having these strongly bonded emotions can also make it easier for your partner to use your love for them against you. Phrases like “If you loved me you would…” and “You said you would do anything for me” become a twisted form of control.<\/span><\/p>\n Emotional or physical blackmail is another common form of manipulation in relationships.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n You may think that most people do not have devastating secrets to be used as blackmail, but the truth is that technology has given partners plenty of ammunition to coerce their spouses.<\/span><\/p>\n Some examples of blackmail include:<\/span><\/p>\n A spouse may play the victim in order to guilt you and gain sympathy from friends and family. They may also use veiled threats to “If you leave me, I am going to kill myself. I wouldn’t have anything left to live for.”<\/span><\/p>\n Manipulators often manipulate a person in their relationship to provoke discussions as it gives the manipulator the control of proving the victim wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n To understand more about signs of a manipulative personality, watch this video.<\/span><\/p>\nRelated Reading: <\/strong>20 Signs of Emotional Manipulation in Relationships and How to Deal With It<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n
<\/span>What is manipulation in relationships<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\n<\/span>Common manipulation tactics<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
Related Reading: <\/strong>Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships: How to Differentiate?<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n
<\/span>15 Signs of manipulation in a relationship<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\nYour partner is controlling<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Also Try: <\/strong>Controlling Relationship Quiz<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n
Making you feel guilty<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Using emotional blackmail to get you to stay in the relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Related Reading: <\/strong>How to Handle Emotional Blackmail in a Relationship<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n
4. Gaslighting<\/b><\/h3>\n
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<\/p>\n5. Isolation from friends and family<\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading: <\/strong>How to Get out of an Abusive Relationship and Start Afresh<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n
6. Using love as a weapon<\/b><\/h3>\n
7. Playing the victim<\/b><\/h3>\n
8. Constant accusations<\/b><\/h3>\n