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I had a big aha moment when I first read the book ‘<\/span>The 5 Love Languages®<\/span><\/a>’ by Gary Chapman. With my husband, I would frequently tell him how wonderful I thought he was and give him plenty of praise.<\/span><\/p>\n He loved it, and we laughed that one day he would not be able to get his head out of the door because his ego would be so big.<\/span><\/p>\n On the other hand, I also noticed that a part of me felt a little sad because I did not seem to receive the same type of adoration from him.<\/span><\/p>\n The book is based on the idea that we tend to love our partner in the way we want to receive it. In a <\/span>study<\/span><\/a> conducted on Chapman’s Love Language® model, it was found that trend couples having an agreement of <\/span>Love Language® <\/span>were less likely to report distress.<\/span><\/p>\n However, problems can arise because the way we want to receive love is not always our partner’s primary <\/span>Love Language®<\/span>, hence why we sometimes feel hurt or rejected.<\/span><\/p>\n ‘The 5 Love Languages®’ confirmed to me that I had been using my primary Love Language ® with my husband, and this was ‘Words of Affirmation.’<\/strong><\/p>\n What are the 5 different Love Languages ®<\/span>:<\/b><\/p>\n Usually, we tend to have two different ways to express the love that we prefer to use and which come naturally to us.<\/span><\/p>\n If you are not sure which of the above Love Languages ® is your dominant one, you can get more of a sense of this by reflecting on the following two questions:<\/span><\/p>\n It soon became an in-joke between myself and my husband. Each time I would <\/span>pay my husband a compliment<\/span><\/a>, it became a cue for him to say something nice back.<\/span><\/p>\n A little contrived perhaps, but at least it was a good opportunity for him to get used to speaking in my language.<\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes he would still forget as it did not come naturally to him, so I would give him a nudge & wink as if to say, ‘it’s your turn now!’<\/span><\/p>\n Joke aside, this helped to lessen my ‘need’ for him to say nice things to me and thus encouraged me to stop looking to him to ‘save’ me or give me love exactly when and how I wanted it.<\/span><\/p>\n When we do this in our relationships, it can be a recipe for constant disappointment and struggle.<\/span><\/p>\n Also watch:<\/b><\/span>The 5 Love Languages®<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n