{"id":49866,"date":"2020-04-28T14:51:55","date_gmt":"2020-04-28T14:51:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=49866"},"modified":"2023-04-28T14:53:13","modified_gmt":"2023-04-28T14:53:13","slug":"whats-getting-in-your-way-of-finding-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/whats-getting-in-your-way-of-finding-love\/","title":{"rendered":"What\u2019s Getting In Your Way of Finding Love?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-49869 size-full\" title=\"What&rsquo;s Getting In Your Way of Finding Love?\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/whats-getting-in-your-way-of-finding-love.jpg\" alt=\"Silhouette of Couple Standing during Nighttime\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Unable to get the relationship<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> you&rsquo;ve always been wanting?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Look around and <\/span><b>somehow it seems everyone is <\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/20-things-people-in-great-relationships-have-in-common\/\"><b>happy in these great relationships<\/b><\/a><b>?<\/b><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Wondering why you&rsquo;re never the &ldquo;lucky one&rdquo;<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> when it comes to finding true love?&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tired of asking yourself<\/span><b> when is it your turn to finding love?<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you can relate to this, then I want you to take a minute and read this article because you may be stuck in what I call <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/books.google.co.in\/books?id=FGPIQ-K7likC&amp;pg=PA240&amp;lpg=PA240&amp;dq=Unenforceable+rules+in+not+finding+love&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=hLy2aYqEC4&amp;sig=ACfU3U1G7ghhr2v6K5jnhF9ZKMJgWIpyVw&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=2ahUKEwiMtLO2u4rpAhXTmeYKHapOBRsQ6AEwAHoECAgQAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=Unenforceable%20rules%20in%20not%20finding%20love&amp;f=false\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">unenforceable rules<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So before we delve into how to find true love, let&rsquo;s deep-dive headlong into love obstacles, and barriers to love that keep us away from finding true love.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Unenforceable-rules-mess-up-your-chances-of-finding-love\"><\/span>Unenforceable rules mess up your chances of finding love<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul><li><b>What are those unenforceable rules?<\/b><\/li>\n<li><strong>What do they have to do with you and having that the relationship you desire so much?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, let&rsquo;s first talk about what enforceable rules are. In short, these are facts, really. Like: we need oxygen to stay alive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unenforceable rules are things we tell ourselves are facts, but really aren&rsquo;t things like, there&rsquo;s only one <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/soulmate\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">soulmate out there<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in the world for you, and one day they will come along and sweep you off your feet.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If I am not <\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/physical-attraction\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">physically attracted to the person<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> right from the get-go, then it will never work out.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I have to wait until I make a certain amount of money or my career is established until I can get&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">married.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If somebody finds this (illness, debt, etc.) out about me they&rsquo;re going to run for the hills.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And if we believe these things, they have an effect on how we live our lives. They can have a real impact on you finding that relationship you have been wanting so badly.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Real-life-is-not-like-movies\"><\/span>Real-life is not like movies<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&rsquo;s say you believe the first thought about there only being one soulmate in the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>If you truly believe in this<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Disneyland fantasy\/<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/culture\/archive\/2012\/05\/lies-hollywood-told-us-love-and-romance-edition\/328637\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hollywood version of love<\/span><\/a><b> then this alone may be the barrier<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or one of the biggest <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relationship-obstacles-that-damage-a-romantic-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship hurdles<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> keeping you stuck.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also watch this video where bestselling author and relationship expert Laura Doyle:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/qXxUbM1CXq0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You could have missed out on many, many great partners with whom you could have had wonderful relationships because you have been sitting there expecting your soul mate to show up romancing you like some lead character in some movie.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Look, <\/span><b>there is not just one soulmate out there.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Or, if you truly live your life telling yourself that there is something about you that would make someone &ldquo;run for the hills&rdquo;, then let&rsquo;s be honest.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How could that not have an effect on you finding love?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have already convinced yourself that nobody is going to accept, let alone love you. So finding a relationship would, of course, be damn near impossible.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>People have all sorts of these &ldquo;rules&rdquo; that keep them from finding love. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You could say these are a form of &ldquo;baggage, something that holds you down and keeps you from being able to be in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The problem is that most people aren&rsquo;t aware that they have them, let alone know that they are having such an impact on their life.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Journaling-can-help-you-manifest-a-love-life\"><\/span>Journaling can help you manifest a love life<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-49870 size-full\" title=\"Journaling can help you manifest a love life\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/journaling-can-help-you-manifest-a-love-life.jpg\" alt=\"Journaling Text Note And Women Hand With Pencil\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, hat to do?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How do you know if you have any unenforceable rules that are holding you back from getting that relationship you want? In your quest to finding love, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/manifestwithease.com\/manifestation-journal-samples\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">start journaling<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a quick and easy way to become aware of what your unenforceable rules are and break them to subsequently embark on the treasure hunt to finding love.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Elicit-feedback-from-someone-you-trust\"><\/span>Elicit feedback from someone you trust<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask them if they are aware of anything you say or have beliefs about in regard to yourself or relationships that they think might be keeping you from finding love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Don&rsquo;t be surprised if they tell you things like, you are very insecure or that you will never find anyone who meets all of your expectations <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">or that you secretly want to be single.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You also don&rsquo;t have to believe everything that you tell yourself. Perhaps <\/span><b>it is time to start questioning your &ldquo;rules&rdquo;.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Certainly, having them has not done anything to help you find the relationship you have so been desiring. After all, they really aren&rsquo;t facts. They are just &ldquo;rules&rdquo; you made up and, until now, just never questioned.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, I challenge you to look inward and see if there are any &ldquo;rules&rdquo; you are enforcing on yourself that could be keeping you from having that idyllic relationship, or finding love.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Unable to get the relationship you&rsquo;ve always been wanting? Look around and somehow it seems everyone is happy in these great relationships? Wondering why you&rsquo;re never the &ldquo;lucky one&rdquo; when it comes to finding true love?&nbsp; Tired of asking yourself when is it your turn to finding love? If you can relate to this, then I want you to take a minute and read this article because you may be stuck in what I call unenforceable rules. So before we delve into how to find true love, let&rsquo;s deep-dive headlong into love obstacles, and barriers to love that keep us <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":587,"featured_media":49869,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2498],"tags":[2577],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49866"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/587"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49866"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49866\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49871,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49866\/revisions\/49871"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/49869"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49866"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49866"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49866"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}