![\"Elderly](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/transforming-instant-love-into-lasting-love.jpg\" "\\"Transforming")
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After endless weeks of shelter in place, your partner is beginning to get crusty around the edges. He’s no longer shaving. She’s no longer wearing a bra.<\/span><\/p>\n The concept of lasting love feels long lost, and perhaps you no longer feel the instant love as well for your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n Neither of you has taken a shower in days, and both of you are seriously considering whether to experiment with the “No Poo Method” of ditching shampoo altogether and washing it with a gentle alternative, such as apple cider vinegar or baking soda.<\/span><\/p>\n Your eyes are averted on your daily walk, and, using the vocabulary of coronavirus, you decide to “social distance” by walking in the middle of the street, six feet apart from the passers-by on the sidewalk. Fist bumps, hip bumps, and side-hugs are out of the question!<\/span><\/p>\n Your partner at home is “safe,” but the idea of hugging them has lost its appeal. Instead, your mind turns to the cashier at the grocery store for some instant love.<\/span><\/p>\n Hopping on a plane to Jamaica together, when the uncertainty of <\/span>COVID-19<\/span><\/a> is over, suddenly seems like an exciting idea. But, wait a minute. The cashier at the grocery store?<\/span><\/p>\n What’s she got that your partner at home is lacking? What about the concept of a <\/span>lifetime love<\/a><\/span> and the promise of a <\/span>long-lasting relationship<\/span><\/a> that you have made with your spouse?<\/span><\/p>\n What can instant love with the cashier teach us about lasting love? The first thing a friendly cashier does when a customer approaches is to <\/span>‘notice.’<\/b><\/p>\n Their smile and eye contact directed at you may be enough to spark an attraction.<\/b> Humans are inherently social; we like to be seen. Interacting with others “is simply what we are built to do, and we do it without trying to do it…” (Mitchell, 2002, p. 66).<\/span><\/p>\n Psychologists who study relationships long have observed how children become inconsolable when parents withhold interest by staring at them blankly with a “still face” (Tronick, 2009).<\/span><\/p>\n Watch this video for the still face experiment:<\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>Finding instant love<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Takeaways from instant love<\/span><\/h2>\n