

{"id":49174,"date":"2020-04-17T07:13:42","date_gmt":"2020-04-17T07:13:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=49174"},"modified":"2024-12-09T14:47:20","modified_gmt":"2024-12-09T14:47:20","slug":"can-a-cheater-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/can-a-cheater-change\/","title":{"rendered":"Can a Cheater Change? Yes!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-49176 size-full\" title=\"Can a Cheater Change? Yes!\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/can-a-cheater-change.jpg\" alt=\"Couple Having Problems In Relationship Due To Infidelity\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The question on everyone&rsquo;s lips once they encountered a serial cheater is &ndash; can a cheater change? And the short answer is &ndash; yes. But will they?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, that&rsquo;s a whole different story. And should you get (or stay) involved with such a person? Can a cheater really change, or will they just suppress this urge?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All of these questions and more will be answered in this article.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why-people-cheat\"><\/span><strong>Why people cheat?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There isn&rsquo;t a short answer to this question. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Evolutionary psychologists<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> would say that cheating comes with our genes, it&rsquo;s just the way our species is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some would say that monogamy was actually established as a social norm to preserve the person&rsquo;s assets. <\/span><b>There are many philosophical, sociological, and psychological explanations out there.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An analysis of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/cheat-in-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">why people cheat in a romantic relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> was conducted through a survey of 562 adults who have been unfaithful in their relationships. The <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/umdrightnow.umd.edu\/why-do-people-cheat-umd-research-identifies-8-motivating-factors\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">research identified<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> the following 8 reasons why people cheat:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anger<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sexual desire<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lack of love<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Neglect<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Low commitment<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Situation<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Esteem<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Variety<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even though we have been able to understand many of the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/pdf\/10.1348\/000712605X47936\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">reasons for why people cheat<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, cheating is still widely condemned.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why? Because it shakes the core of something that is considered a sacred institution, for one reason or another. So, why do people still keep doing it? And does a cheater ever stop cheating?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There will probably always be affairs for as long as there&rsquo;s an institution of a relationship and a marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And, for some cheaters, even, romantic affairs may become ancient history. Let&rsquo;s explore some of the common questions associated with the great one: &ldquo;Can a cheater change?&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-people-change-after-cheating-because-they-feel-remorse\"><\/span>Can people change after cheating because they feel remorse?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, your partner cheated on you? And you decided that you&rsquo;re going to stay with them and give your relationship a try? Are you working through<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/stages-of-getting-over-an-affair\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">getting over the affair<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&rsquo;s wonderful! But, are you secretly (or openly) hoping that they have changed because of the sheer remorse they feel?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This may not be the best idea to hold on to. Can cheaters stop cheating? Yes, and they often do so precisely because of the remorse they feel.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, this is an unhealthy basis for your future relationship. It&rsquo;s like when a child stops climbing on trees because you got angry at them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After enough time has passed and when you&rsquo;re not looking, they&rsquo;ll start checking out the tree again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/christiana-njoku\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Christiana Njoku, LPC,<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dont assume that a cheating partner has changed because they feel remorseful, but watch their actions to know.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Also watch:<\/strong><br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/MEUk9nMazk8\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Do-cheaters-ever-change\"><\/span>Do cheaters ever change<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-49179 size-full\" title=\"Do cheaters ever change\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/do-cheaters-ever-change.jpg\" alt=\"Rear View Of A Man With Girlfriend While Holding Hands With Another Woman\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, can a cheater change? Let&rsquo;s explore a few widespread hopes people have when they&rsquo;re <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/how-to-deal-with-a-cheater\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">dealing with cheaters<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-a-cheater-change-if-they-meet-their-soulmate\"><\/span>Can a cheater change if they meet their soulmate?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A cheater will respond &ndash; my soulmate won&rsquo;t ask me to change. Not the ideal response, we know. However, there&rsquo;s some logic to it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>A cheater might have been cheating because they simply enjoy having many partners for different reasons.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> So, it&rsquo;s debatable whether their perfect partner will ever want them to deny themselves the pleasure.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-a-cheater-change-if-they-get-married\"><\/span>Can a cheater change if they get married?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can a cheating man change and be faithful? Not one bride had had this question at the back of her mind when she was walking down the aisle. And the answer is &ndash; yes, they can.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Although they don&rsquo;t necessarily have to. Manny men consider marriage &ldquo;something else.&rdquo; So, if he wasn&rsquo;t faithful before, he might very well be a changed man once he ties the knot.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-a-cheater-change-because-they%E2%80%99ve-matured\"><\/span>Can a cheater change because they&rsquo;ve matured?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do cheaters ever stop cheating on their own? Yes, sometimes, and it&rsquo;s because their values have changed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People grow and develop. <strong>I<\/strong><\/span><b>n some instances, cheating was just a temporary phase of one&rsquo;s youth. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, can a cheater stop cheating? Yes, if they develop into people who believe in being faithful.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Should-you-get-involved-with-a-cheater\"><\/span>Should you get involved with a cheater<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re wondering: &ldquo;Can a cheater change?&rdquo; chances are, you&rsquo;re considering whether to get involved with them. There&rsquo;s no right or wrong answer to it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everyone deserves a chance, and anyone could change. Whether they will, that&rsquo;s another question.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Christiana Njoku adds,<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The decision to either or not be with a cheating partner is a choice you alone deserve to make and not for others to make for you.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In any case, you should <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relationship-advice-for-couples-who-are-just-starting\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">start your relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with honesty. Talk openly about the previous affairs. Also, ask the question you might dread &ndash; can a cheater be faithful? Will they?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The best approach is to let your new partner know that any response is all right with you &ndash; as long as they&rsquo;re honest. Then, decide if that&rsquo;s all alright with you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Should-you-stay-in-a-relationship-with-a-cheater\"><\/span>Should you stay in a relationship with a cheater?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another group of people wondering: &ldquo;Can cheaters change?&rdquo; are usually those who were cheated on. Getting over an affair is one of the toughest things one can do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The best way to overcome it is if you <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">work together<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. You can make your relationship sounder than ever before if you find ways to incorporate the experience into the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/foundation-rs-for-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">foundations of your marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, do you still wonder, can a cheater ever change? Probably yes. But it&rsquo;s because there&rsquo;s no definite answer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one can tell you if they will. It&rsquo;s up to you to decide how you&rsquo;ll approach it, how you&rsquo;ll cope with infidelity if it happens, and how you&rsquo;ll grow as a person and as a couple, regardless of how the events unfold.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The question on everyone&rsquo;s lips once they encountered a serial cheater is &ndash; can a cheater change? And the short answer is &ndash; yes. But will they? Now, that&rsquo;s a whole different story. And should you get (or stay) involved with such a person? Can a cheater really change, or will they just suppress this urge? All of these questions and more will be answered in this article. Why people cheat? There isn&rsquo;t a short answer to this question. Evolutionary psychologists would say that cheating comes with our genes, it&rsquo;s just the way our species is. Some would say that <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":49176,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[23],"tags":[2691],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49174"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49174"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49174\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":106203,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49174\/revisions\/106203"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/49176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49174"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49174"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49174"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}