![\"Couple](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/emotional-regulation-in-the-time-of-global-crisis.jpg\" "\\"Emotional")
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This is indeed a very peculiar and difficult time for all of humanity.<\/span><\/p>\n We all feel extremely vulnerable because of a <\/span>tiny virus sweeping the globe<\/span><\/a> that threatens our health, leading to inaptness at practicing emotional regulation and adverse effects on our financial wellbeing.<\/span><\/p>\n During times of crisis caused by external events, which we have no control over, such as now, it<\/span> can be easy to react by projecting out our fears and vulnerability on those close to us.<\/b><\/p>\n Handling emotions, <\/span>staying together in difficult times<\/span><\/a>, overcoming emotional anxiety, and not falling prey to any personality disorder has all become too taxing.<\/span><\/p>\n For example, by <\/span>becoming disproportionately angry over silly things, known in more common terms as “dumping”<\/b> – or by just closing ourselves off.<\/span><\/p>\n While this second way of handling – or rather not handling – difficult emotions may seem the better way, in reality, repressing our emotions is just as harmful as letting them explode.<\/span><\/p>\n There is no question that <\/span><\/i>emotional regulation <\/span><\/i>is important – both good and bad.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Regulating our emotions and <\/span>uncovering repressed emotions<\/span> are skills we hopefully learn as we grow up.<\/span><\/p>\n Unfortunately, the truth is that<\/span> many people are emotionally illiterate and unaware of <\/b>emotional regulation skills<\/b>.<\/b><\/p>\n Our parents may not have really known how to recognize and express their own emotions in healthy ways and were unable to teach it to us.<\/span><\/p>\n There is no fault in this – realizing that our parents and we ourselves are emotionally illiterate does not mean we need to blame and condemn anyone for our inadequacy in emotional regulation.<\/span><\/p>\n But we do need to <\/span>learn more about our emotions and how to express them if we want to <\/b>improve our health and our relationships<\/b><\/a> with others.<\/b><\/p>\n Generally speaking, when triggered by uncomfortable situations and feelings, people tend to react in two ways:<\/span> we either explode and have no “filters,” or we repress our feelings in an attempt to keep the peace<\/b> and avoid feeling exposed and vulnerable.<\/span><\/p>\n We all know that if we lash out through our words or actions, we can be destructive, but many of us are not aware of the fact that trying to bury or deny our fears, hurt, anger and all our ‘negative’ emotions can end up being even more destructive than expressing them.<\/span><\/p>\n Over time, ‘stuffing’ our emotions – known as <\/span>repression in psychology<\/span><\/a> – can produce all kinds of problems, first of all, in our own bodies, minds, and lives.<\/span><\/p>\n More and more <\/span>research on emotional regulation<\/span><\/a> is emerging that connects all sorts of physical illnesses and conditions to repressed emotions, including :<\/span><\/p>\n Depression and anxiety are also often symptoms of repressed emotions<\/b>, as well.Which is suffice to say that emotional regulation is the key to staying sane and happy.<\/span><\/p>\n The same thing is true in our relationships, especially with those closest to us. We may believe we are doing the right thing by ‘stuffing’ how we are really feeling, but just as within our bodies, repressing emotions can cause energy blockages that end up producing disease, the same thing happens in our relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n The flow of communication and connection becomes blocked<\/span><\/a> by our desire to not rock the boat, cause conflict, or expose ourselves by being truthful about how imperfect and weak we feel, which ends up causing other, even more, serious problems!<\/span><\/p>\n When we ‘stuff’ our feelings and ‘put on a happy face’ to try to hide how we are really feeling, we are putting out a signal to the others in our life that we are willing to only get so close.<\/span><\/p>\n While the emotional atmosphere created by ‘stuffed’ feelings can feel somewhat safe, in reality, <\/span>it suffocates all authentic communication<\/b> and <\/span>drives people apart<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n First of all, we can look at a time like this, where we are being challenged with a situation we have very little control over.<\/span><\/p>\n Many of us are stuck in the house with our partners and loved ones, This, in fact, can be a real <\/span>opportunity to grow and to hone our <\/b>relationship skills<\/b> – relationship with ourselves, with our loved ones, with other human beings, and with the entire planet.<\/b><\/p>\n This virus is calling our attention to all these relationships and is presenting each one of us with the opportunity to take the time to make some serious changes.<\/span><\/p>\n Just as we are being called to stop denying, on a collective level, that our actions are affecting the health of our planet, our first home, we are also being invited to look at what is happening in our individual lives.<\/span><\/p>\n What kinds of toxic environments we are immersed in due to our difficulties in being able to truly take good care of our own bodies, minds, emotions, and spiritual dimension.<\/span><\/p>\n We often think that <\/span>toxic relationships<\/span><\/a> and home environments are created only by people who have severe personality disorders and are extremely selfish, violent, or manipulative.<\/span><\/p>\n But we need to become aware that they are also created by repressing how we really feel, by stuffing our emotions, reluctance to learn about emotional regulation and by shutting ourselves off first of all from our own selves.<\/span><\/p>\n We learn early on to deny and repress our anger, envy, pride, etc.; all those “negative” emotions that we were told were “bad.”<\/span><\/p>\n We need to realize, though, that all these difficult human emotions are not necessarily ‘bad’; they are often signaling that something inside of us or in our lives or relationships needs our attention.<\/span><\/p>\n For example, if we are <\/span>feeling angry at our partner<\/span><\/a> and we stop to examine our <\/span>anger for a moment, we may discover that the real problem is that we have not been <\/span>taking enough time for ourselves, or have not been able to make a clear request about <\/span>something we want or need.<\/span><\/p>\n Or perhaps<\/span> we are ‘shut down’ because we are disappointed that our partner is <\/b>not just ‘stepping up’ for things that seem obvious to us.<\/b><\/p>\n When this type of frustration builds up over time, we end up closing ourselves off, feeling hopeless, and <\/span>blaming our partner<\/span><\/a> for our unhappiness.<\/span><\/p>\n The same thing can be true regarding our work, our relationships with children <\/span>and friends and family.<\/span><\/p>\n If we are not feeling good about our lives or our relationships, the first thing we must do is realize that <\/span>we do have the power to make the changes we need to feel more positive, connected and engaged<\/b>, within ourselves, and also with others.<\/span><\/p>\n Also watch:<\/strong><\/span>Not realizing the importance of emotional regulation<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Lack of emotional regulation spells disaster<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Why putting on happy face does not work<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>What do we do about emotional regulation?<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Difficult human emotions are not necessarily bad<\/span><\/h2>\n
![\"Woman](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/difficult-human-emotions-are-not-necessarily-bad.jpg\" "\\"Difficult")
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