![\"Candid](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/the-importance-of-art-of-listening-in-a-relationship.jpg\" "\\"The")
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“To truly listen to another means that you are open to their ability to change you.”<\/span><\/p>\n Anonymous<\/span><\/p>\n The art of listening is of particular importance when it comes to relationships. And, it’s imperative to listen to your spouse just as you listen to others for a <\/span>happy and fulfilling relationship<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n In providing marriage counseling to those who have been married for many years and<\/span><\/p>\n those who have habituated into long term couples, inevitable conflicts are often born<\/span><\/p>\n from certain specific contexts, behaviors, and topics which become <\/span>triggers for ineffective communication<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n By focusing on how couples are attempting to discuss difficult subjects, we find our most successful point of intervention.<\/span><\/p>\n The therapist will tell you that <\/span>it doesn’t matter what a couple is discussing; what matters is how they are talking about it.<\/b><\/p>\n Allowing oneself to be influenced is the essential starting point for open communication to occur; if you enter into a discussion with your partner and your goal is to have them <\/span>change their opinion<\/span><\/a>, you have entered a slippery slope toward conflict.<\/span><\/p>\n Imagine entering into a discourse about politics with your partner, a natural place for discussions to get out of control.<\/span><\/p>\n There is probably little chance of you agreeing about your divergent <\/span>political opinions<\/span><\/a>, and such topics present longstanding issues for which both of you are well aware, and your manner of relating to each other becomes pathologically scripted.<\/span><\/p>\n Now, here comes the need for the art of listening!<\/span><\/p>\n In many instances, in long term relationships, the <\/span>conflict discussions<\/span><\/a> aren’t things that are happening outside of the relationship but about things that happen between the two partners.<\/span><\/p>\n Yet the pattern is the same most of the time, meaning that you are both mostly tuned out and non-receptive to the other’s viewpoints, feelings, and needs.<\/span><\/p>\n There is a tremendous opportunity here, and you can channelize your purpose of listening towards a positive outcome- to <\/span>improve relationships<\/span><\/a>!<\/span><\/p>\n Instead of tuning out the other and amplifying your own argument, by <\/span>strengthening communication, you can cast aside your preconceived beliefs about yourself, your world views, parenting differences<\/b>, and the person you love, to have the opportunity to be heard and understood, by letting them influence and affect you. <\/span><\/p>\n One of the greatest gifts that we can offer another is our presence and attunement to<\/span><\/p>\n their thoughts and feelings. Most of the time, when our partner is communicating with<\/span><\/p>\n us, they aren’t looking for a fixer, to solve their problems.<\/span><\/p>\n The act of merely being heard is often a potent elixir of communion and connection.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Couples therapists have many therapeutic communication tools to help couples facilitate the kind of presence, empathy, and <\/span>connection in communication<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n They can be helpful to try at home. Still, it is usually recommended that they are done in conjunction with marriage counseling\/couples therapy, it can be tough to follow their format as simple as they may seem at first.<\/span><\/p>\n The art of listening in a relationship involves three essential steps. They are discussed as follows.<\/span><\/p>\n This is the first step in the art of listening. Although it may seem obvious, it is tough to implement.<\/span><\/p>\n Listening means that you are offering your presence to your partner and that you<\/span><\/p>\n are really entering their feeling state with the only goal <\/span>being to hear them<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n So, when you are listening to your partner, turn off the phone, television, or other distractions. Remember, <\/span>you are not listening with the goal of responding but with the aim of understanding<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>Listen better in a relationship<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>The power of listening<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
![\"Tow](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/the-power-of-listening.jpg\" "\\"The")
<\/p>\n<\/span>Listen<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Summarize and mirror<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n