![\"Sustaining](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Sustaining-Emotional-Connection-A-Key-for-a-Strong-Marriage.jpg\" "\\"Sustaining")
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The most common problem that couples report when they initially walk into my office is that they are no longer emotionally connected.<\/span><\/p>\n An emotional connection is a bundle of subjective feelings that come together to create a bond between two people.<\/span><\/p>\n However,<\/span> sustaining a strong emotional connection in a marriage doesn’t ‘just happen’.<\/b><\/p>\n While we may be able to emotionally connect with our partner easily in the initial phase of the relationship, to build an emotional connection that is <\/span>sustainable<\/span><\/a>, one requires intentional and consistent effort.<\/span><\/p>\n When both partners work, have children, and life is busy, it’s easy to put a couple of pieces of the relationship on the back burner.<\/span><\/p>\n I often start out by asking couples if there was ever a time that they did feel an emotional connection in a relationship. Typically they say “yes.”<\/span><\/p>\n Then I ask what they perceive was happening in the relationship that allowed them to feel emotionally connected.<\/span><\/p>\n Typically the answers are related to the fact that they were each ‘courting each other’; taking the time and making an effort to focus on each other and <\/span>being completely present for each other<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n Often I hear “before we had children.”<\/span><\/p>\n After a couple gets married, life begins to happen, and <\/span>stress in the marriage<\/span><\/a> can often increase.<\/span><\/p>\n We become distracted by the challenges of everyday life and sometimes neglect to take that time and make that effort to focus on each other as we did at the <\/span>beginning of the relationship<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n How to connect with your partner on a deeper level?<\/span><\/p>\n I believe a vital mistake that many couples make is the misperception that sustaining emotional connection takes time and energy that they don’t have.<\/span><\/p>\n Research shows<\/span><\/a> that <\/span>spending 270 seconds a day will help couples sustain an emotional connection.<\/b><\/p>\n Just three 90 second genuine interactions where one is fully present for their partner can help to sustain an emotional connection for couples.<\/span><\/p>\n John Gottman, a contemporary research psychologist, best known for his work and research with couples, created a diagram that facilitates a couple in <\/span>creating a better marriage in six hours a week<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n Six hours a week may sound like a lot of time initially; however, when it is broken down, it requires less than an hour a day.<\/span><\/p>\n Capturing moments to genuinely <\/span>communicate to your partner how important they are <\/b>can be the key to sustaining a deep <\/span>emotional connection with a man<\/span><\/a> or an emotional connection with a woman.<\/span><\/p>\n I believe one of the keys is to be intentional about communicating that to your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n It is worth noting that the rise of technology hasn’t necessarily helped couples to be more intentional about sustaining emotional connection.<\/span><\/p>\nEmotionally connecting with your partner<\/h2>\n
Intent to communicate<\/h2>\n
![\"Intent](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Intent-to-communicate.jpg\" "\\"Intent")
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