{"id":46323,"date":"2020-02-25T10:53:48","date_gmt":"2020-02-25T10:53:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=46323"},"modified":"2022-10-12T10:34:36","modified_gmt":"2022-10-12T10:34:36","slug":"love-calendar-to-keep-marriage-alive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/love-calendar-to-keep-marriage-alive\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Calendar Is the Best Tool Keep Marriage Alive"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Yes, even in the <\/span>happiest of marriages<\/span><\/a>, there are lulls and disagreements.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wise and loving spouses expect them and know how to manage them, they look for ways to keep marriage alive, and rekindle the marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are twelve months of ways you can keep marriage exciting that my clients have love-tested over the years.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope these help you keep your love alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

Revise and add to customize your tips to <\/span>keep the spark alive in your marriage<\/span>. Oh—and be sure to add to the corresponding months a celebration of.<\/span><\/p>\n

  1. Each of your birthdays<\/b><\/li>\n
  2. The month you met<\/b><\/li>\n
  3. The month you fell in love<\/strong><\/li>\n
  4. The month you got engaged<\/strong><\/li>\n
  5. Your anniversary<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>

    <\/span>1. January<\/span><\/h2>\n

    Do something special together to <\/span>celebrate the New Year<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

    It doesn’t have to be expensive or difficult. Choose whatever has meaning and special pleasure for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

    For example, <\/span>you could get together with the family.<\/b><\/p>\n

    Or, <\/span>do something fun that you have not done in a while.<\/b> If you live in a snow-country, build a snowman, go sled-riding.<\/span><\/p>\n

    If you live in warmer areas, walk the beach, walk a hiking trail, go where you can see animals. It doesn’t matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Be sure to write your New Year’s love resolutions—which, of course, include things that you need to improve!<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    <\/span>2. February<\/span><\/h2>\n

    Yep—it’s Valentine’s Day month in the yearly love calendar.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Start thinking now about<\/span> what you would like to say and do to strengthen your appreciation and love for your spouse<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

    1. Start by making a card and writing down all the things that you love and respect about your spouse.<\/span><\/li>\n
    2. Expressing your love<\/span><\/a> with expensive gifts is not necessary—and often not effective.<\/span><\/li>\n
    3. Do something that has personal meaning to you as a couple.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>

      My clients’ ideas include:<\/span><\/p>\n

      Writing a love letter of appreciation<\/p>\n

      1. Buying something that you know your spouse wants<\/span><\/li>\n
      2. Going to a place or event that your spouse mentioned<\/span><\/li>\n
      3. Surprising your spouse by arranging for your spouse’s best friend or family member to visit<\/span><\/li>\n
      4. Giving your spouse a handmade coupon that says something personally meaningful.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>

        Here are a few examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n

        Free never-expire coupon<\/span><\/p>\n

        Redeemable for any one item<\/span><\/p>\n

        From the list:<\/span><\/p>\n

        New (fill in the blank)<\/span><\/p>\n

        Visit to see or to bring here (fill in the blank)<\/span><\/p>\n

        Vacation to (fill in the blank)<\/span><\/p>\n

        Redo (fill in the blank)<\/span><\/p>\n

        It is also a snow month in many countries. Have fun together—build a snowman, go for a sled ride.<\/span><\/p>\n

        <\/span>3. March<\/span><\/h2>\n

        It’s Springtime in the love calendar !<\/span><\/p>\n

        Get out of the house, do <\/span>something fun together<\/span><\/a>. Be silly, do something you’ve talked and talked about doing—but never do!<\/span><\/p>\n

        Stop talking and make plans. And how about Spring Cleaning?<\/span><\/p>\n

        Don’t dread it. Work together to go through closets and select things to give away. Try on that jacket or skirt in the back of the closet.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Do it with your spouse and children—and laugh at why you bought that in the first place. Just do it! Do it together and keep the spark alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

        And, then, yes, as always,<\/span> thank your spouse and family for helping<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

        <\/span>4. April<\/span><\/h2>\n

        Usually, this time of year is a month of various religious holidays.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Of course, adjust the way you <\/span>celebrate your holiday<\/span><\/a> and your love of being with your spouse in whatever way is best for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Think about how you might celebrate in a way that incorporates an action that is important to your spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n

        For example, invite someone whom your spouse has not seen in a while. Or, decide to <\/span>do something charitable to help a family or person in need<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Giving together as a couple<\/b><\/a> and as a family brings you closer together <\/b>and more appreciative of what you have.<\/span><\/p>\n

        <\/span>5. May<\/span><\/h2>\n

        \"May\"<\/p>\n

        Mother’s Day! Memorial Day!<\/span><\/p>\n

        Sometimes Graduation Month! Whew!<\/span><\/p>\n

        No excuses—there are many opportunities where you can add your special way of expressing your love for your spouse during this time in your love calendar.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Remember that coupon you might have used for Valentine’s Day? You can tweak it for any of the occasions.<\/span><\/p>\n

        A kind note of appreciation<\/span><\/a> can make a family celebration more romantic and special. For example, you can write a letter to your spouse about what a wonderful parent and partner they are in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Think about<\/span> ways to include the family and\/or children.<\/b> Also, see the June suggestions for ideas that you can also use for this month.<\/span><\/p>\n

        <\/span>6. June<\/span><\/h2>\n

        Fathers Day! Sometimes College Graduation Day! Sometimes Anniversary Day! First Day of Summer! Whew again!<\/span><\/p>\n

        Do one of your unused ideas that you considered for May. Often, for example, <\/span>doing one of those overlooked and forgotten household tasks<\/b> goes a long way to express your love. Involve the family, for example, in cleaning out the garage or closets!<\/span><\/p>\n

        Aggravating tasks are usually more fun when you have a crew.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

        <\/span>7. July<\/span><\/h2>\n

        Fourth of July! Oh this month in the yearly love calendar for couples is easy: Celebrate you two!<\/span><\/p>\n

        If your anniversary is months away, <\/span>have an “interim” anniversary celebration to let your spouse know your feelings of joy and gratitude<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

        There is no law that says that you can’t create your own holiday! Have fun together and with the family.<\/span><\/p>\n

        <\/span>8. August<\/span><\/h2>\n

        Back to school time?<\/span><\/p>\n

        Time to return from vacation?<\/span><\/p>\n

        Oh, August too often is not a happy month: Bad weather somewhere, kids to get ready, and packing up time. Instead of getting stressed out, <\/span>do <\/b>dreaded tasks together<\/b>.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

        Divide up the smaller tasks.<\/span><\/p>\n

        When couples work together even on unpleasant things they can feel closer.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

        Don’t turn into a perfectionist or drill sergeant.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Just get things done—and then thank each other. You might even want to prepare a thank you card earlier. And always <\/span>assign tasks to your children.<\/b><\/p>\n

        Afterward, find a way to celebrate being a couple and family. Order in, barbecue, watch a movie together, play a game, and just do something that refreshes your closeness.<\/span><\/p>\n

        <\/span>9. September<\/span><\/h2>\n

        \"September\"<\/p>\n

        Labor Day! First day of Autumn. Religious holidays for others.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Just celebrate life when September comes up in your love calendar!<\/span><\/p>\n

        Get outside.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Look at your community’s calendar for fun things to do with family and with just your spouse<\/b>. September is also often a month of new beginnings for school children.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Instead of your usual way of dividing up your childcare tasks, do at least one of them together.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Co-parenting can be frustrating, but it is less so when you are a team. And then write a <\/span>thank you note to your spouse<\/span><\/a> about how wonderful they are!<\/span><\/p>\n

        Also watch:<\/strong>