{"id":46309,"date":"2020-02-25T10:14:36","date_gmt":"2020-02-25T10:14:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=46309"},"modified":"2025-12-09T07:31:31","modified_gmt":"2025-12-09T07:31:31","slug":"relationship-skills-for-conflict-resolution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relationship-skills-for-conflict-resolution\/","title":{"rendered":"The Must Have Relationship Skills for Conflict Resolution"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Conflicts<\/h2>\n

<\/span>The Must Have Relationship Skill for Conflict Resolution<\/span><\/h2>\n

Relating skills are the key<\/span> to a successful long-term, intimately connected relationship abound with strong communication.<\/span><\/p>\n

The list is a short one; the choice to love, core values, communication, emotional expression, preferences and boundaries and <\/span>conflict resolution<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone has “work to do” on these. So, what are the steps for conflict resolution?<\/span><\/p>\n

It is crucial to remember, we are always a work in progress. So, it’s natural to be introspective and see areas of ourselves where we can grow, refine, improve and, yes, change.<\/span><\/p>\n

While all of these matters, the relating skill which determines whether a relationship ends before “til death do us part” is: Conflict Resolution. There is no close second and here’s why.<\/span><\/p>\n

Intimately connected couples bond and attach over time.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As their connection expands, their intimacy deepens in all areas – spiritual, intellectual, experiential, <\/span>emotional and sexual<\/span><\/a>, they become more vulnerable.<\/span><\/p>\n

They “expose” more and more of their true self to their partner. With this exposure comes risk; the risk of being rejected, judged, criticized, not being heard, understood and loved.<\/span><\/p>\n

When events such as a conversation, short text message, missed appointment, etc., happens, it can trigger a latent fear held from the past.<\/span><\/p>\n

The source is irrelevant.<\/span><\/p>\n

Someone said something and the words landed. They landed on a ‘soft spot” in one of the partners. That partner withdraws, shuts down, responds with angry words, etc. Any and all of these are “issues that call for <\/span>conflict resolution<\/span><\/a>”.<\/span><\/p>\n

Issues move people away from the love they share.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Issues, all issues, must be resolved in a manner which moves the partners back to that shared love that was present before the issue surfaced.<\/span><\/p>\n

Issues cannot be ‘brushed off’ or rationalized with “s\/he didn’t really mean it, s\/he loves me.” No. Emotions were engaged, the words triggered something, one partner moved away and that is the definition of an issue.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is the gravity of the matter with regard to conflict resolution.<\/span><\/p>\n

Conflict resolution is the most <\/span>intimate partner conversation<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

It requires both couples to operate from their authentic true self, laying down their protection strategies, their fears and being authentic.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>The Conflict Resolution Formula: APR<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

(APR-address process resolve)<\/span><\/p>\n

Each issue must be addressed<\/span> by the partner who was triggered by expressing: what happened, what were the words, what is my response, what I did “over here”.<\/span><\/p>\n