{"id":45936,"date":"2020-02-18T10:19:01","date_gmt":"2020-02-18T10:19:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=45936"},"modified":"2025-11-23T13:44:22","modified_gmt":"2025-11-23T13:44:22","slug":"anger-management-how-to-handle-your-anger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/anger-management-how-to-handle-your-anger\/","title":{"rendered":"Anger Management – A Guide on How to Handle Your Anger"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Anger<\/p>\n

Anger gets a bad wrap. It is often a very misunderstood emotion. Most of the time, when we think about anger or have experienced anger in ourselves or from another, it’s in a negative, destructive context.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we feel angry, it can feel like we are losing control. We can feel blinded by it, unable to think, and unable to make sense of the situation. It can seem as though something else has taken over our body, our mind, and our behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then we either respond with a full attack or by shutting down and withdrawing. Our anger can end up being turned towards ourselves with negative thinking, toxic self-talk, and destructive behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or, it can also be turned towards another with biting words, yelling, and even <\/span>abuse<\/span>. But does that mean it is a bad emotion and one we should disown or get rid of completely?<\/span><\/p>\n

Anger is a “secondary emotion,” which means that a “primary emotion” happened first, usually, hurt or fear.<\/b><\/p>\n

Those emotions can be even more uncomfortable because we feel so vulnerable, or we experience them as weak, so we can move quickly into an angry stance.<\/span><\/p>\n

We often feel safer, more protected, and stronger behind a wall of anger.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anger is a signal. It alerts you that there is a problem. It tells you <\/span>you have been hurt<\/span><\/a>, you are afraid, or there has been an injustice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anger is also meant to be a destructive emotion, so that if directed properly, it can help destroy the problem. It can give the energy, motivation, focus, and drive that is necessary for change.<\/span><\/p>\n

It can be used to destroy and tear things down, so we can start anew. It can be a problem solver and can lead to creativity and being able to think outside the box.<\/span><\/p>\n

But in order to tap into the positive and constructive aspects of anger, we first have to subdue our rage, bitterness, and destructive anger.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also watch:<\/b><\/p>\n