![\"Why](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Why-Do-People-Get-Married-Unraveling-the-Mystery.jpg\" "\\"Why")
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Do you wonder, why do people get married and what is a relationship based on? Read along to unearth the reasons to marry someone, by and large, the right<\/span> reasons to get married<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n “And she lifted her eyes and saw Isaac….she descended from the camel …took the scarf and covered herself.” <\/i><\/p>\n (Genesis 24:64-65)<\/i><\/p>\n To understand the Torah’s approach to any given topic, the place to start is by analyzing the first instance that topic appears. <\/span><\/p>\n So, Isaac and Rebecca, which is the Torah’s first description of a meeting between husband and wife can help us understand the Torah’s perspective on <\/span>marriage<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n Why do people get married? What are they looking for when they “take the plunge”?<\/p>\n I posit that they are looking for a deep, <\/span>intimate connection<\/span> with another human being that only the <\/span>commitment of marriage<\/span><\/a> can provide. If we accept that, the next question is: “What promotes connection and what cripples it?”<\/span><\/p>\n Sight, the visual sensory experience curbs our ability to connect, while <\/span>listening deeply <\/span><\/a>facilitates connection. <\/span><\/p>\n When you see something, you think: “I’ve got it”! Your eyes have taken a picture and they tell you: “What you see is real. What you see is the truth.” <\/span><\/p>\n The problem is, <\/span>it’s not<\/b>. <\/span><\/p>\n Our visual perception is constantly misleading us to conclusions that are inaccurate. And even if a conclusion is partially accurate, it’s not the whole truth, and a partial truth is really a lie.<\/span><\/p>\n Relying primarily upon one’s sight is most damaging when relating to another human being. When you look at a woman, you are not seeing her for who she truly is, but rather as an extension of your visual perception.<\/span><\/p>\n Therefore, the more you rely upon your visual sense to determine the nature of the relationship, the less of a relationship it is. Who are you relating to? An image that you yourself just produced!<\/b><\/p>\n Listening, on the other hand, is a much different experience. In order to really listen, you have to set yourself aside and create space for that input. <\/span><\/p>\n To put it in other words: While seeing begins with <\/span>you <\/b>and is nothing more than a projection, listening begins with the <\/span>other<\/b> and focuses on <\/span>their<\/b> reality. <\/span><\/p>\n Relationships<\/span><\/a> are thus bolstered by deep listening and handicapped by an emphasis on the visual.<\/span><\/p>\n When Rebecca noticed her future husband, she got down from the camel and covered herself with a scarf, both acts of modesty. Why? <\/span><\/p>\n Because marriage, if it is going to accomplish its goal of facilitating a deep and <\/span>meaningful connection<\/span><\/a> between two human beings demands modesty. <\/span><\/p>\n Modesty turns down the visual sensory experience and creates a more neutral space where two people can begin to listen to and truly experience one another. They connect.<\/span><\/p>\n Modesty is not prudish. Rather, it serves the couple as they create a marriage permeated by deep passionate connection on the emotional and physical level. <\/b><\/p>\n<\/span>Do looks matter in a relationship?<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Personality vs looks<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Importance of personality over looks<\/span><\/h2>\n