

{"id":44188,"date":"2019-12-18T11:39:45","date_gmt":"2019-12-18T11:39:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=44188"},"modified":"2023-04-11T10:38:50","modified_gmt":"2023-04-11T10:38:50","slug":"effective-ways-to-communication-with-your-spouse-to-salvage-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/effective-ways-to-communication-with-your-spouse-to-salvage-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Effective Ways to Communicate With Your Spouse To Salvage Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-44916 size-full\" title=\"Effective Ways to Communicate With Your Spouse To Salvage Your Marriage\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Effective-Ways-to-Communicate-With-Your-Spouse-To-Salvage-Your-Marriage.jpg\" alt=\"Effective Ways to Communicate With Your Spouse To Salvage Your Marriage\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p>Good marriages are built on a multi-storied foundation.<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> There are physical, spiritual, intellectual connections. There are friendship and mutual respect elements. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is the sense that your spouse always has your back and is the person you can be completely yourself with.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And, most importantly, tying all of this together is a strong sense of <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">communication in marriage. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because for all of these different building blocks to lead to a happy relationship, the communication channel has to be strong and open.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you sensing, this might not be the case in your marriage? Are you looking to learn how to communicate in a relationship in order to salvage your marriage? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Read on for some time-proven advice on what are the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4852543\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">effective ways to&nbsp;<\/a><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4852543\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">communicate with your spouse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to salvage your marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-importance-of-communication-in-relationships\"><\/span>The importance of communication in relationships<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being able to communicate with your spouse is one of the essential keys to a healthy marriage. Without communication, you may as well be roommates. You need to be able to speak together about all topics, good or bad.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anyone who has been through a divorce will say that they knew their marriage was in trouble when they had no interest in having a conversation with their spouse. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communication had broken down so much that they didn&rsquo;t see the point in trying to work things out anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are at the stage in your relationship where you think your marriage communication is not where it should be, there are techniques you can learn to<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relational-communication\/\"><b> improve communication<\/b><\/a><b>, and as a result, improve your marriage.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also watch:&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Jp9b2Hf7QWg\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>Tips for communicating better<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/communication-activities\/\">Better communication<\/a> begins by examining how you speak with your spouse. To begin:<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dedicate-time-to-be-present-for-each-other-every-single-day\"><\/span>Dedicate time to be present for each other, every single day<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-44917 size-full\" title=\"Dedicate time to be present for each other, every single day\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Dedicate-time-to-be-present-for-each-other-every-single-day.jpg\" alt=\"Dedicate time to be present for each other, every single day\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did you know that in the average busy household, couples spend only 20 minutes communicating with each other?&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And that type of couple communication is usually limited to &ldquo;Did you pick up milk as I asked you to? Or &ldquo;Sasha needs some help with her science project tonight. Can you help her?&rdquo;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The typical family, with working parents and school-aged children, has lots of distractions. Television, computers, and smartphones are part of those distractions. In order to carve out some time where you and your spouse can really sit and talk with each other, unplug.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once the kids are in bed, make it a point to take at least half an hour to sit on the couch together, hold hands, and share what your day was like, what your future projects are, and how you are feeling about each other &mdash; express gratitude for one thing that happened to you that day.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Change-%E2%80%9Cyou%E2%80%9D-to-%E2%80%9CI%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>Change &ldquo;you&rdquo; to &ldquo;I&rdquo;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To help your relationship communication, think about how you phrase things when talking with your spouse, especially when you are in conflict. It is so easy for us, when angry, to fall into the &ldquo;You&rdquo; statements.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;You never listen to me!&rdquo; can be rephrased in a less-accusatory way: &ldquo;I&rsquo;m feeling unheard.&rdquo; Remember: when you start with the &ldquo;You,&rdquo; your spouse immediately gets feeling defensive. When you start with the &ldquo;I,&rdquo; it allows you, partner, to open up to what you are trying to say.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Concentrate on the present issue. To communicate more effectively in times of conflict, stick with the problem at hand.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Avoid-bringing-up-the-past\"><\/span>Avoid bringing up the past<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-44918 size-full\" title=\"Avoid bringing up the past\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Avoid-bringing-up-the-past.jpg\" alt=\"Avoid bringing up the past\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;This is the fifth time I&rsquo;ve had to remind you to pick up the dry-cleaning on your way home from work! Why can you NEVER remember to do this one simple task?&rdquo;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To communicate your frustration in a more positive way, this phrase becomes, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m sorry that the dry-cleaning didn&rsquo;t get picked up.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What could you do to remind yourself that this needs to be done on your way home?&rdquo; This phrase leaves out all the other times your spouse has neglected to do this, and it involves them in a solution so that they remember to pick up the dry cleaning next time.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Marriage-communication-exercises\"><\/span>Marriage communication exercises<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if you have been married for ages, using some marriage communication exercises will help you discover new things about your spouse and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/key-to-de-escalating-an-argument\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">strengthen your communication<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> channel at the same time. The following exercises can be done during your evening &ldquo;couple time&rdquo;:<\/span><\/p>\n<ol><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask each other what your biggest fear is, and talk about how you might manage that fear should it become a reality.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, no budgetary limits, where would you go? What attracts you to that place?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you could have dinner with anyone living or dead, who would it be? What would you ask them?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What were your favorite childhood books?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What were your favorite childhood songs?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For an<\/span><b> excellent communication exercise for couples,<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> do the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2015\/01\/09\/style\/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">36 Questions That Lead To Love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Tip: really listen to your partner as they answer the questions; avoid thinking about what your answer will be until it is your turn.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are several <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au\/health\/healthyliving\/relationships-and-communication\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">effective communication<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> books available that you might wish to read to help you learn better skills. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/ourpeacefulfamily.com\/marriage-communication-books-best-couples\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This site<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> has some recommendations that are worth checking out.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Better-relationship-communication-equals-better-sex-life\"><\/span>Better relationship communication equals better sex life<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-44919 size-full\" title=\"Better relationship communication equals better sex life\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Better-relationship-communication-equals-better-sex-life.jpg\" alt=\"Better relationship communication equals better sex life\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the beneficial consequences of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/better-communication-in-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">improving communication in your marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is that your desire to be physically intimate may increase.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The enhanced connection you will have built by using marriage communication techniques will spill over to the bedroom, so take advantage of that and make the most of your cuddle time.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if you don&rsquo;t have time for full-on lovemaking, just being close together in an intimate space will be an&nbsp;<span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"effective way to communicate with your spouse to salvage your marriage\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":4993,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"10\":2,\"11\":3,\"12\":0,\"15\":\"arial,sans,sans-serif\"}'>effective way to communicate with your spouse to salvage your marriage.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Good marriages are built on a multi-storied foundation. There are physical, spiritual, intellectual connections. There are friendship and mutual respect elements. There is the sense that your spouse always has your back and is the person you can be completely yourself with.&nbsp;&nbsp; And, most importantly, tying all of this together is a strong sense of communication in marriage. Because for all of these different building blocks to lead to a happy relationship, the communication channel has to be strong and open. As you sensing, this might not be the case in your marriage? Are you looking to learn how to <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":43259,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[2516],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44188"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44188"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44188\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":85357,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44188\/revisions\/85357"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/43259"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}