

{"id":44178,"date":"2019-12-18T11:07:05","date_gmt":"2019-12-18T11:07:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=44178"},"modified":"2025-07-05T04:54:57","modified_gmt":"2025-07-05T04:54:57","slug":"buying-the-cow-the-pros-and-cons-of-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/buying-the-cow-the-pros-and-cons-of-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"The Pros and Cons of Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-38419 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/The-Importance-of-Healthy-Boundaries-in-Marriage.jpg\" alt=\"Buying the Cow: the Pros and Cons of Marriage\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Couples in long term relationships eventually get around to discussing marriage.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They discuss the when, where, and how of marriage. It doesn&rsquo;t matter if the discussion is purely theoretical or planning an actual wedding.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most of the conversation revolves around their ideal marriage and wedding ceremony. The more a couple talks about it, the more serious and detailed it gets.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be considered a relationship milestone.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Depending on the situation, conversations eventually lead to the pros and cons of marriage. In today&rsquo;s world, where cohabitation is no longer frowned upon, a lot of couples move in together without getting married first. In fact, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.brides.com\/story\/living-together-before-marriage-study\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">66% of married couples cohabitated<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> before walking down the aisle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to the<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.census.gov\/newsroom\/press-releases\/2018\/families.html\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> US Census<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, more people living together are cohabitating than married for young adults aged 18-24.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s 9% and 7% respectively.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In comparison, 40 years ago, almost 40% of couples at that age are married and living together, and only 0.1% are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">cohabitating<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are even <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Cohabitation_agreement\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">cohabitation contracts<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> these days.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If that is indeed the case, what are the benefits of marriage?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Also watch:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/jORE1c1mvXo\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2>Pros and cons of getting married<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If cohabitation is socially accepted and cohabitation contracts exist, it begs the question, why get married in the first place?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/maggie-martinez\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Maggie Martinez<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, LCSW:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">A strong marriage can provide emotional stability and partnership, helping <\/span><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">both<\/span><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\"> people feel seen, heard, and valued.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To answer that question, let&rsquo;s approach it in a systematic manner. Here are the advantages of getting married.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Conform to tradition&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A lot of couples, especially young lovers, may not care much about tradition, but that doesn&rsquo;t mean their parents and other family members don&rsquo;t.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Getting married is essential for couples who value the opinion of others, especially their older family members.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Normality for children<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Traditional family units are taught in schools.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Families should have a father, mother, and children.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a lived-in scenario, it is also the same, but family names can get confusing for children.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are cases of bullying from &ldquo;normal&rdquo; kids when a particular child comes from a different <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/family-dynamics-affect-your-relationship\/\">family dynamics<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Conjugal property<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a legal term that makes it easier for couples to share ownership of family assets.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is especially useful when getting a mortgage for a house.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the US, there are slight differences per state in the details when it comes to what defines as conjugal properties, but the whole concept is the same.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Learn more about it <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.zipmatch.com\/blog\/things-to-know-about-spouses-and-their-properties\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">here<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Marital social security benefits<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once an individual gets married, their spouse automatically becomes a beneficiary of their social security payments.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are even social security <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/hermoney.com\/connect\/marriage\/financial-pros-and-cons-of-marriage\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">benefits for spouses<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that are separate from the paying member. It is also possible for some US states to award a pension to ex-spouses if the couple was married for over ten years.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are also <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.investopedia.com\/terms\/s\/spousal-ira.asp\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">spousal IRA<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, marital deductions, and other specific benefits. Consult an accountant to learn more about the financial benefits of marriage.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Public declaration of commitment<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some couples may not care so much about it, but being able to say someone is their husband\/wife, wear a ring, and show the world (or at least in social media) that they are no longer single and living a blissful marriage is a life goal.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Maggie Martinez Reid highlights that:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Marriage offers a unique opportunity for deep companionship and to create a family.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking that step into marital life and eventually, parenthood is something most normal people consider an achievement.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is marriage worth it? A lot of couples believe this benefit alone makes it all worthwhile.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Those are some of the benefits of getting married that applies to most couples.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thinking about marriage pros and cons, here is a list of disadvantages to marriage to keep things in perspective.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-42072 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/What-to-Do-When-You-Realize-That-You%E2%80%99re-Married-to-a-Mama%E2%80%99s-Boy.jpg\" alt=\"Pros and cons of getting married\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><b>Messy divorce proceedings<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because of conjugal property, couple assets are considered co-owned by both partners.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the event of a divorce, a legal dispute can arise on who controls these assets. The risk can be mitigated by <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/pre-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">prenuptial contracts<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and other legal arrangements. Regardless, it is a costly exercise dividing assets and needs lawyers to sort everything out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Marriage penalty&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If both partners have an income, married couples should jointly file their tax returns, which could result in a higher tax bracket.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talk to your accountant in ways on how to circumvent dual-income tax penalties that could arise from marriages.&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>Terror in-laws<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This doesn&rsquo;t always happen. Still, it happens often enough that there are even comedy movies made on the topic.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It doesn&rsquo;t always have to be the mother of the bride.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Any member of their partner&rsquo;s family can end up <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/family\/deal-with-disrespectful-in-laws\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a thorn in their side<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be a deadbeat sibling, a condescending branch family, an uber strict grandparent, or a delinquent cousin.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Expensive wedding&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wedding ceremonies do not have to be costly, but a lot of people consider it a once in a lifetime experience (hopefully), and as respect to each other and their families, they tend to spend lavishly for memories and posterity.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Compromise individuality<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s not a joke when they say marriages are about two people becoming one.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It may sound romantic at the start, but in reality, it is about changing your lifestyle to fit your partner and Vise Versa.<br><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maggie Martinez adds that:<br><\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One challenge of marriage is the risk of losing individuality. When your relationship becomes enmeshment, personal growth and self-expression can fall by the wayside.<br><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if there are no diet or religious issues between the couple, a lot of individuality and privacy are surrendered in marriage.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most partners are more than willing to do it, but some people are not too keen on being accountable to someone else all the time.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are some of the pros and cons of marriage.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you look at it from outside the box, it seems like there&rsquo;s a valid argument to support both points of view.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, to two people who are in love, all such rationalization is trivial.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They won&rsquo;t even care what are the benefits of marriage or cohabitation. All they care about is how to be together forever.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage is just a logical next step for serious couples in love.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The pros and cons of marriage are of little value to them. To a loving couple, it is just a celebration of their love.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All that matters is forming a new family and future together. After all, modern-day proposals are based on just love; everything else is just secondary.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Couples in long term relationships eventually get around to discussing marriage.&nbsp; They discuss the when, where, and how of marriage. It doesn&rsquo;t matter if the discussion is purely theoretical or planning an actual wedding.&nbsp; Most of the conversation revolves around their ideal marriage and wedding ceremony. The more a couple talks about it, the more serious and detailed it gets. It can be considered a relationship milestone.&nbsp; Depending on the situation, conversations eventually lead to the pros and cons of marriage. In today&rsquo;s world, where cohabitation is no longer frowned upon, a lot of couples move in together without getting <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":38419,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[21],"tags":[2625],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44178"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44178"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44178\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":110684,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44178\/revisions\/110684"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/38419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44178"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44178"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44178"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}